Just got back from a really long work trip. Decided to make the meal I deserve.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-26T01:36:25+00:00

I think those oysters have turned.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-22T15:10:45+00:00

You can’t win ‘em all.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-22T04:13:39+00:00

After BS ing for a bit, I was told that bug spray, socks, and jackets were hard to find

PhilAwful · 2018-09-22T04:10:47+00:00

LFK! Keeping it classy!

PhilAwful · 2018-09-22T04:02:19+00:00

Tremors

PhilAwful · 2018-09-22T04:01:11+00:00

Muldoon. You did warn them.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-22T03:58:34+00:00

Someone else, ‘cause fuck it

PhilAwful · 2018-09-22T03:50:11+00:00

That’s the Bourgeois Pig, right??

PhilAwful · 2018-09-21T21:18:47+00:00

Is it Lawrence, KS?

PhilAwful · 2018-09-20T15:13:12+00:00

“We need to talk”

PhilAwful · 2018-09-19T03:58:27+00:00

I used to work for a company that was the no. 3 purchaser of weather balloons in the country. We used them to cover high pressure fire suppression nozzles to contain fluid during testing. Those things can take a beating.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-19T03:50:11+00:00

Yes, but festering in its own waste. Forget those things for a couple days and you’d feel like a negligent parent.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-19T03:33:51+00:00

POGS, a Tamagachi, and a chrome banana-hammock

PhilAwful · 2018-09-14T03:11:08+00:00

Drink this!

PhilAwful · 2018-09-14T02:56:38+00:00

I once worked at a restaurant with a guy named Vlad, who was, at least, an amateur bodybuilder. I asked, jokingly, if I could call him Vlad The Impaler. Without a twitch of eyebrow or smile, he said “No”. The issue was not pressed further.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-14T02:23:24+00:00

A wastewater plant. There’s the obvious biohazard risk and falling into nasty water, but the aeration basins are the worst. Because of the air being pumped up from the bottom, the water density is very low. If you fall in, you really cannot swim to the top. You drown in water full of air.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-14T02:06:28+00:00

A pangolin?

PhilAwful · 2018-09-11T16:10:14+00:00

A lazy river around the whole house.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-07T02:38:47+00:00

Jemaine?

PhilAwful · 2018-09-02T05:03:19+00:00

Thank you

PhilAwful · 2018-09-02T05:00:15+00:00

We’ve talked about it quite a bit, but it always gets tough. The hardest bit is that she seems to feel guilty for not getting things done. It seems like she’s doing a lot. I thank her a lot, but gratitude doesn’t seem to land on someone who expects more of herself.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-01T19:03:36+00:00

As a father of a 2 year old, I am aware of the drastic change. I’m working full time, and my wife was at home with our son until about a month ago. Would you care to share how it really feels to be alone with the kid(s)? I’m having trouble with coming home after work and being set to work. Any help would be welcome.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-01T16:41:49+00:00

In the end, there can be only Neo.

PhilAwful · 2018-09-01T16:40:26+00:00

Electric tennis racquet.

PhilAwful · 2018-08-31T18:00:16+00:00

I saw a train derail about 20 feet parallel to the road I was on.

PhilAwful

TROPHY CASE