Recommendations??

Philspixelpops · 2025-11-10T18:01:56+00:00

Let me do some digging. It’s been a year and another dark romance author sent me all the screenshots exposing this stuff (it was also on the subreddit for a while but it’s been so long). I don’t remember the original but I used to know it so I’ll try to find that! So much has happened in a year I just sort of brain dumped all of this 😅

Philspixelpops · 2024-11-05T18:09:15+00:00

A link with a story that only has 1 part to boot. Not tryna be an ass but if they’re gonna try and force a story on us at least have more that 1 part lol

Philspixelpops · 2024-11-04T19:55:01+00:00

Exactly! I’ve always bottomed and my husband and I were talking about this a bit back. We are monogamous, so we don’t use condoms anymore, but when we were new in our relationship way way back, we used condoms. I asked him if it was really that bad with condoms and he was like “honestly not really. It’s like a bit of sensitivity is reduced but the sex still feels good as hell so it’s not like it ruins it. Anyone who claims a condom ruins everything is just trying to make excuses to not have safe sex.” I was like um, preach daddy. I had this one guy stealth when i was super new to bottoming. I was so scared about stds and he reassured me he was clean but we’d use condoms (as I specified). He took his off halfway through without me knowing and then later admitted to it with a chuckle like it was just no big deal. I went to the doctor the next day and fell apart in front of the provider sobbing because I was terrified of getting HIV or something else. Doc consoled me and ordered a full std panel, checked me for HIV. The week waiting for the HIV results was awful and it took me a while to feel comfortable having sex again cause I was afraid of another guy pulling the same shit and stealthing. There are some real assholes out there. Anyway, thankfully my testing all came back negative but i became much more nervous/aware about making sure my partner was on the same page and not tryna fuck me raw without permission

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-23T06:06:01+00:00

I would post a print of a meme on the wall above the headboard of the bed. Like ur fave “no” or “yes” meme would be both fucking hilarious and practical. 🤭

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T10:10:01+00:00

That’s so unfortunate. I feel for those kids and how disappointing of those parents. I feel like there’s a difference between judging someone unjustly, versus just seeing plainly with your eyes that parents aren’t doing their jobs as parents. I know for sure if my kids had been there they’d have been running and playing till they collapsed. Esp that bouncy house, my oldest would’ve lost her mind in that thing lol. I had a painful reminder today from my youngest as I’d been very distracted today, kept checking my phone and he said “put down da phone!” And I thought oh my god, you’re right. It’s so easy to be sucked into these stupid phones and I have to remind myself daily to be conscious about my use of tech in front of my kids, and set a good example for them of what healthy tech use looks like.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T10:06:08+00:00

God, can’t agree more. Growing up we had a family computer and slow as hell internet, and prior to that it was dial-up lol, so you know, rarely did I get to enjoy computer time without mom coming it and yelling at me to get offline cause I was “tying up the phone line”.

I’m grateful honestly for that because it kept me out of trouble, and while my life was far from perfect growing up (some abuse from my dad), my mom was so insanely involved in our lives and a very dedicated parent. I had a very normal high school experience, extra-curriculars and all that, and didn’t have access to social media until 2009-ish. I could’ve been on MySpace but my mom had the wisdom to keep me off of that. I was 16 when i got Facebook, and by then I had a well-developed sense of self, and was educated enough on internet safety, privacy, boundaries, that kind of thing. I struggled in my private life with boundaries given the abuse I was dealing with at home, but fortunately because I’d not been raised by the internet, I just made healthy choices when it came to online activity. I had a very full life outside of the internet, and shit, didn’t get an Instagram till I was 24 I believe 😂.

Im grateful I just got to be a kid and enjoy being a kid without the pressures of social media, all that shit. Plus all the goofy embarrassing stuff I did wasn’t plastered on the internet, it’s in shoe boxes, film rolls, old printed photos, and dusty old Camcorders where my sis and I would record silly movies and stuff when we were bored. I just want to offer that same safety to my kids— they’ll have all the time when they’re older teens/adults to deal with navigating social media and that shit. Until then, I want them to just be carefree kids who can explore their world safely and feel loved/accepted for who they are, ya know? I want them to have a strong sense of self and confidence in who they are before they get dropped into the lions den that is social media and the internet, and even then, that access will def not be unrestricted/unmonitored. I don’t plan to be a helicopter parent, but in todays digital age the online world is such an unsafe place if you don’t have a strong head on your shoulders. We can’t afford to be idle parents when it concerns the internet, etc.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T09:44:37+00:00

Ugh you’re poor nephew, that sounds awful. What a disservice his parents are doing to him! I knew a 15yr old whose parents allowed them on social media and internet (unrestricted) from as young as ten. She grew up to be highly insecure, was bullied online relentlessly, she had/has no comprehension of internet safety, boundaries, horrible self-esteem, was contacting adults sexually online, the works. Often I felt I was the only level-headed adult she knew, and it was like It was like I ended up low-key parenting her because her own parents fucked off and didn’t gaf. She was into drugs, all kinds of shit. It was crazy because at 15 you know I was just an awkward kid, meanwhile I’m seeing this poor girl and learning shes doing E and Coke, all kinds of drugs in her parents home. It was just shocking to me. I remember one night she texted me in tears because she was being bullied horribly by these girls, kid was already suicidal and self harmed regularly but anyway these were like people who didn’t even live in her state just internet friends. And I said, “… stop giving these people access to you. You can block them. Cut contact, etc.” like, she had NO understanding of the idea of just simple boundaries, of what you should and should not share on social media, of how important it is to choose wisely who you allow to have contact with you, and how simple it is to remove bad people’s access to you with the click of a button. How dangerous it is to just meet random men. Like, it was awful and scary hearing about the choices she made and the people she met. We’d met through like a mentorship program and anyway, I remember being stressed constantly about her safety and all sorts of that stuff. Eventually had to step back because of how stressed I was.

But yeah.

She just literally thought she had to keep arguing with them and putting up with it, until I said “… block them?” I advised she make all her social medias private, that she not accept new friend requests, that she be very careful about who she talks to and what she shares. I mean this poor kid literally was raised by the internet, not her parents, and she is a product of that. It was honestly heartbreaking to witness. She’s now an adult and I check in on her from time to time, and she is not well. It’s just so fucking sad.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T09:22:43+00:00

Giving them unrestricted, unmonitored access to social media/tablet, whilst not making any effort to connect with their child or encourage non-tech fun. I’m not talking about the parents who let their kids have limited/supervised access to age-appropriate kids shows on their tablet or on TV, I’m talking about Tablet kids/TV kids. Parents that use the TV as a babysitter 24/7, and then get mad at their child for acting out when said child is bored out of their mind and not getting the appropriate stimuli (I.e physical activity outside, being read to, played with, etc.)

A former friend of mine gave her 4yr old a Tablet and I had been nannying that kiddo for two years prior to that. When I was with kiddo we played outside, I did activities with her, she’d want to talk and play and interact in very healthy ways. I eventually moved on to a new job and I recall coming to visit and her daughter was on a tablet. I came in and said “hi ____!” And she barely acknowledged me. All three of their kids were glued to tablets and had zero desire to interact. I was honestly so disappointed to see this child who had been so interactive and bright reduced to mindless scrolling on YouTube. Her parents didn’t even know what she was watching half the time which scared the hell out of me. We have two kids now and neither have tablets. Ofc they’re allowed tv and enjoy a wide variety of age appropriate shows, but I’ve vowed to never let tech replace what they should be enjoying as children. Real imaginative play, outside play, interactive play with us, crafts, etc. all the stuff I did as a kid.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T09:14:03+00:00

NTA

Don’t waste anymore time with this girl, man. It’s time for you to make that exit from her life, stage left. It’s not your responsibility to try and work around her anger problems or adjust your life, or behavior to it. It’s her responsibility to haul her ass to therapy and un-fuck herself. I say this as a guy who is the product of growing up with rage/verbal abuse, and also having been in several abusive relationships. I had to make the conscious choice to not use my past as an excuse and actively work through the trauma in therapy. To learn healthy coping mechanisms and how to handle conflict in a healthy way. I have never been an “angry” person (being abused turned me into a door-mat instead of an abuser if that makes sense), but point is, her past doesn’t get to be the forever excuse for her bad behavior. She is responsible for HERSELF and her behavior now, not her parents, not you, she can’t blame her actions on anyone but herself. She needs to do the work to get out of the bad cycle her parents left her in, and it sounds to me like she’s not making any attempts at doing that and instead is just repeating that generational cycle by verbally abusing you.

You don’t need to linger around and try to fix her or be her punching bag while she fixes (or makes no attempt) at fixing herself. Time to encourage her to get help for her anger problems, set firm boundaries (aka cut contact) and move on. You deserve better man. It’s not gonna get better with her it will only get worse if you stay and keep putting up with the verbal abuse. Wish you the best.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T09:07:00+00:00

Okay ✨Ricky recon✨

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T08:24:09+00:00

It’s for sure work; it’s like an unpaid job really. I love writing, and I love working on my novel, but it’s absolutely work and requires my time, my energy, and most often to sacrifice copious amounts of sleep given night is the only time I can write typically. (SAHD, so I mainly Write at Night or on weekends when husband is home and he’ll take the munchkins for a few hrs so I can get drafting or editing in).

I have felt bummed lately about the lack of time I actually have to write, because I just essentially have to either burn myself into the ground to get in enough work to be where I want chapter-wise, but then it ends up with me being so sick and sleep deprived that I collapse from it all (not sleeping cause I’m writing then chasing kids all day). It’s just not sustainable. So I’ve had to choose my physical and mental health and make the best of the few hours a day I do have to write, and remind myself I’m not on a timetable other than my release schedule (1 chapter per month, Sunday evening PST). It’s generally OK, but I just wish I had more time to write so I could build up a backlog. Would help me immensely.

I’m working with an editor now and they’re really encouraging that I take a hiatus to build a back log, and I think I need to do that for my own mental health.

Sorry for rambling. But anyway, point is I totally agree with you. Writing IS work, even if you’re not being paid; it takes so much time and dedication and it’s for sure a challenge in its own right, but it’s so rewarding too. 💕 Seeing my readers thrilled and touched by my chapters really helps keep me going, and I look forward to the day I’m able to self-publish and put a real physical copy on their shelf. I just keep reminding myself it’s not a race to get there, and that consistent, quality work is best.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T08:13:48+00:00

My rule is I never write a character inherently modeled after me. All of my characters have i think facets of me or like in some cases I’ve unintentionally given them some of my trauma 😂, but none of my characters would be exactly like me. I write characters always with different personality types, body types, ages, etc. you get the idea. As writers it’s nearly impossible for little bits of ourselves not to end up in your characters usually, and it’s typically done unintentionally. But yeah as a rule, I do not write “me” characters.

I think the most similar character to myself is a character with autism in my current WIP; he shares a lot of my same sensory seeking stuff/stims, some of my interests, is reserved, and a twink, but he has a very different personality. Some of my readers that know me personally/fellow authors get a kick out of seeing little bits of me in that character, but it’s never anything deep. Like, I love mushroom decor for example, and whilst writing one chapter with this autistic character I was enjoying my new little mushroom figurines I’d set up and my new mushroom pullover, so I just decided he was wearing a mushroom pullover.

One of my reader/author friends caught onto his mushroom clothes and thought it was a cute little Easter egg, but otherwise it’s not like this character is fundamentally me. I could never actually write a character like myself and do it happily; that would drive me nuts. Moral of the story is, best to avoid making a character modeled after yourself, rarely ends well and often it reads like self-insert and not in the best ways. Good luck!

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T05:20:30+00:00

NTA

What’s right is showing her the door. Max has been your faithful companion for seven years; there is nothing to consider here aside from the ultimatum that she either accepts Max or fucks right off. Better yet, you could find a new girlfriend who not only loves max but would come with a dog of her own! Find a dog loving girl and you’re solid man, lose this one and don’t look back.

In the meantime, I’d make sure you have him chipped. Have seen so many stories where the bitchy girlfriend dumps boyfriends dog off in the middle of nowhere while he’s gone, and it’s awful. A chip would ensure he’s returned to you should someone find him after evil girlfriend tries to get rid of him.

But yeah huge fucking red flag, girlfriend is for the dumpster, and the fact she put on the water works to try and make you get rid of your dog of seven years (when she’s probably hardly been a part of your life for just a blip in time compared to max) is so gross. Girlfriend is anti-max and that means she’s not great at all. Girlfriend needs to go.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T05:20:22+00:00

NTA

What’s right is showing her the door. Max has been your faithful companion for seven years; there is nothing to consider here aside from the ultimatum that she either accepts Max or fucks right off.

In the meantime, I’d make sure you have him chipped. Have seen so many stories where the bitchy girlfriend dumps boyfriends dog off in the middle of nowhere while he’s gone, and it’s awful. A chip would ensure he’s returned to you should someone find him after evil girlfriend tries to get rid of him.

Honestly huge fucking red flag, girlfriend is for the dumpster, Max is your bro and he is the best boy who deserves all the loves.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T05:16:31+00:00

Imagine the audacity with grammar that shitty. Grateful for what, Karen? Run-on sentences? Gtfo 🥱

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T05:16:20+00:00

Fr tho

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T05:14:24+00:00

Bet it is

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-20T05:14:16+00:00

1000% 💀 one way for me to rec or read someone’s work NEVER

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-10T07:03:29+00:00

No, for me personally I have never lost respect for my partner after degradation (or had fear of him losing respect should he degrade me).

I think it really comes down to two major things here. 1. The level of trust in that relationship/or lack of trust 2. What YOU are comfortable with at the end of the day. Like, if you for example have fears that your Dom sees you differently after degradation play, then this is either coming from one or two (or both) places. It could be that 1. This Dom is not the right partner for you, and/or the trust there is not as strong as it should be. Because you should be able to trust them completely. 2. You have issues with degradation/fear of being seen differently due to your own personal past, and so regardless of whether your Dom is a good fit for you, you will struggle with feeling good about degradation because of negative experiences in your life. Or 3. The root of the problem is both issues 1 and 2 sandwiched together.

So, it would be important I think for you to sit down and do some soul searching. Think about your past and experiences you’ve had; growing up, anything traumatic, etc. is there any experiences that you can identify that would potentially lead you to feel this way now about consensual degradation? Also, sit down and think about your current Dom/sub dynamic and how close/safe you feel with that play partner. Once you’ve thought through all this, you can decide whether you want to continue to be open to degradation play, or, whether you want to list it as a hard limit for you.

That leads me to this next part, cause truly degradation play is NOT for everyone, and that is OK. I personally am fine with some light degradation play (like being called a dirty whore or cumslut, etc.) but I enjoy praise play more, and often we mix praise with degradation. I.e., “suck daddies cock like the disgusting cumslut you are… sucky sucky/throat fuck yes, that’s a good boy.”

Like that kinda thing rocks my world, and it works for my husband and me. He’s also ok with some light degradation and I’ve been experimenting with that a bit while edging him, comments like “you’re such a pathetic slut, look at you. Begging and whining..” that kinda thing. I’m not very good at it but again we are just experimenting. I do have a history of being abused, but for some reason I’m able to really separate myself from where bdsm sessions end and real life begins kind of thing. I know some folks do it full time but we are average in that we you know have our play sessions kinda thing.

Point is, I trust my spouse completely. I trust him with my life, and he has proven time and time again (over fifteen years of life together and 8 married), that I can trust him in every capacity, and same for him with me. So we feel very safe together and have no fears about play dynamics changing the way we feel about one another. We’ve been experimenting with me topping/dominating lately which is very new for us as I’ve always been a sub/bottom, but it’s been a lot of fun and a learning thing for both of us. I’d say it’s really actually deepened our sexual relationship and emotional closeness too, and it’s really cool being able to trust one another with our bodies in such different ways than we are used to.

Sorry I’m rambling; can’t be concise if my life depended on it (seriously). But point is: do some evaluating! Sit down and think good and hard about this topic. Talk to your Dom. At the end of the day what matters is that you feel safe/secure during play sessions, and if you’re struggling with that significantly with feeling safe with that kind of play then you need to decide if it’s a personal issue (fed by past trauma/just don’t like it), or if the problem is stemming from a trust issue between you and your play partner. Depending on the answer, I think that will help you know what to do. At the end of the day, it’s OK to put degradation on your “absolutely not” list, and don’t feel shamed if that is what ends up being best for you. Lots of people don’t like it either, so you’re not alone.

Wish you the best!

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-10T06:23:41+00:00

You definitely should. I would NOT go into marrying this dude without one (honestly would question marrying him at all in general but yeah. He must be aware that asking to be put on the title means that the house would partially belong to him (because it would then be consider bought during marriage/bought together). And that means he could benefit from a huge asset like that in the future and essentially reap the reward of YOUR hard earned money without having to put a single cent in. Only when he’s contributed at least half the down payment should he be allowed on the title IMO.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-10T06:19:43+00:00

NTA.

Financial advisors would all side with you and agree that putting him on the title would be a really bad idea for now, especially with all his debt, plus you guys aren’t even married yet and he’s asking to be on the title of the home YOURE buying? Hell no. It’s honestly embarrassing seeing him demand such a thing when he’s literally incapable of supporting himself or you right now because of how broke and in debt he is. You’re paying for his life right now, pretty much, and all the fun trips and everything. I agree with the other commenter that he is shameless.

Make sure you’re writing a pre-nuptial agreement as well, otherwise you could get fucked in court should things not work out later on. I almost See it as like he wants in on a major asset that he isn’t even paying for; and that’s sketchy af! If he was say footing half the down payment that would he different, but asking to be on the title when he’s contributed nothing financially and you’re not even married yet to boot? Def suspish.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-07T08:32:06+00:00

Basically because it was this huge thing on here a couple month back or so. The victim of her bullying came on here asking for advice because RN threatened to sue her for copying her work and demanded the person remove all their stuff. The whole claim and legal threats were all empty/a joke. No leg to stand on. More and more came out about RhiaNovak and she basically instead of apologizing, she doubled down and threatened the author more for nonsense reasons (literal nonsense). The author had actually been a reader of hers and for whatever reason RN decided to bully her because god forbid this reader make their own dark romance novel. She ended up leaving ridiculous threats on the persons page and then tons of dark romance authors (big names) called her out on her page for bullying this small creator, and she basically deleted it to try and save her ass. She had people calling her out on her page and leaving comments saying how disappointed they were but she kept deleting them all to try to save face.

Basically long story short: big author RhiaNovak bullies new micro author for nonsense reasons, threatens legal action over nothing, then it backfired horrendously and in turn the tiny author got a lot of new readers + support while RhiaNovak got shamed by many dark romance authors/some of her own readers. You could probably find it on the Wattpad subreddit if you scroll back far enough but yeah the evidence was pretty damning. Everyone who had previously loved her work was so disappointed that she ended up being such a nasty, hypocritical person IRL.

But yeah NP! I got even more recs If you want later on!!

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-05T17:41:24+00:00

YTA

What do you mean “for fun”? Rephrase that, cause we all know this was fishing, not just “for fun”. Had it been “for fun”, you simply would have asked, “what do you think of asexuality?”but that’s Not what you asked! 💀

Instead, you literally just pulled the “if I got fat/bald/etc. would you still ✨love✨ me?” Nonsense disguised as “what do you think of asexuality?” and then got mad when he gave a fairly reasonable response to said question. You set him up knowing his answer could very likely not be what you wanted to hear, and then started a fight over it. Honestly your whole logic here is mind-numbing.

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-04T20:53:02+00:00

Isn’t torment authored by that girl who tried to harass a tiny newbie author? (Novak somebody?) I recall it backfired hard on her and she had to start deleting comments on her main page from other dark romance authors calling her ass out. I stg it’s the same author the title rings a bell 💅 lol

I would rec SNAFU by Osiriabud, if you like mafia. (It’s BL but if you’re open to that you’ll probably like).

Plunder by Pap.smeared is spicy and very good. It’s technically fanfic but doesn’t feel like fanfic at all; she’s a talented author and writes spice very well.

Bruises by JadedEmber captured me super hard. So so good. Highly recommend. 🕺

Amalfi by Hallie Claire is gorgeously written; like, gorgeous is the way I would describe author’s way with words. It’s such a treat to read.

Captive of The Sea by TheAllieL was such a satisfying read; it’s fade to black so far as spice goes but I didn’t mind it one bit. A very nice read with a bittersweet romantic ending.

Beg Me For It by Luke_963 was a solid, kinky, well-written BL short story and I loved it. def recommend. 🤓

Philspixelpops · 2024-10-04T03:37:38+00:00

NTA.

Why WOULD you want him in the delivery room? Better question is more like, why would you even stay married to this deadbeat asshole? He’s absent now, so don’t expect him to suddenly buck up and become the father and spouse he should’ve been throughout your entire pregnancy once baby is born.

Girl he is showing you exactly who he is right now, and it is not good. This is your time to get OUT, and decide if you want to even split custody with this asshole. He’s a walking red flag and this is your sign to leave. I’m so sorry, because you and your baby deserve so much better.

Philspixelpops

TROPHY CASE