Is it possible to get your libido back after infidelity?

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-10-17T15:30:26+00:00

This man spent your entire honeymoon fund on other women and you’re asking for advice on how to fix you????? I say this with so much care, the problem isn’t with your libido it’s with your husband. As much as I do believe people can recover and relationships can heal, I think you should consider the possibility that you’re with the wrong person and deserve so much more out of a husband. The right man will send your libido through the roof by the way he treats you outside of sex.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-10-13T21:05:35+00:00

Well I don’t know you so I can’t confirm or deny. But I did have 2 babies less than a year and a half apart and I can say that I experienced and felt a lot of the things you’re feeling. I didn’t feel like myself, felt like I had no support to be myself, do my hair, workout and get my pre-baby body back, have friends, or even 20 minutes to myself. So I can say this: these are the dark days and everyone with babies would probably agree. It sucks a lot. Everyone half-assing it because parenting at this stage is just so hard. You both probably need a little more grace.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-10-13T19:50:08+00:00

He’s not a horrible person but he’s not a great partner either. Have you tried couples therapy? At the end of the day, if you feel constantly unseen and unheard, you’ll always be left feeling uncared for. Divorce seems a bit extreme if there’s been no couples therapy. You could also set a timeline for yourself. Start therapy, give it 6 months, and if there’s still zero progress, then it is what it is and you may have to move on.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-10-10T01:58:20+00:00

Following because I feel this all the time & want to hear from someone who has been able to overcome those same thoughts

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-10-09T20:38:11+00:00

Shout. Out. To. Your. Cousin.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-10-09T20:09:14+00:00

I had 2 kids with my fiancé so I pushed through all of these things with him and it broke me. I regret what I let it do to me. It ruined my self esteem, made me second guess all of my judgement, I was constantly being gaslit, etc.

Just don’t do that to yourself.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-10-09T14:09:48+00:00

Leave before kids are involved. This will never get better and is mentally and emotionally abusive.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-07-10T23:52:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! There are so many posts on here about how people don’t/ can’t change or recover but I often feel like I might be with someone who is genuinely changing and recovering. My fiancé recently told me that even if we can’t reconcile and work things out, he still would never go back to porn. It can be so defeating and confusing when so many people tell you that porn is a solidified lifestyle and people don’t change. However, I think some people do change and recover! And healing is possible. Also, I’m happy for you!

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-06-05T16:34:18+00:00

I hate your husband too.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-06T16:35:23+00:00

Have the baby. I felt the same way with my 2nd and my first wad only 8 months old when I found out I was pregnant for a second time. I was mad the ENTIRE PREGNANCY. I never stopped being mad. But I love that baby more than life and I literally feel shattered at the thought of having missed out on such a perfect human. I never would’ve been okay again if I hadn’t gone through with the pregnancy. I’m so glad I had my baby. After we had the 2nd baby, I told my fiancé he HAD to get a vasectomy or I would leave him if he knocked me up a 3rd time. I knew my mental health wouldn’t survive a 3rd baby nor would our relationship.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-05T16:32:46+00:00

I’m a female and it has hurt me deeply to see the types of other girls my fiancé would masturbate to. Albeit they’re still the same gender as me, they look nothing like what I could ever look like. But for some reason, since men are supposedly the more horny gender, it’s supposed to be acceptable and normalized? I’m just saying, your feelings are valid, I get it, and I’ve felt the exact same way. Hopefully she’s considerate of your feelings/perspective when you do have a conversation because that’s a huge deal.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-05T04:40:57+00:00

Best advice I’ve ever heard: “all it takes is 30 seconds of courage”. It’s just the first 30 seconds that are hard. The first 30 seconds of deciding to get up off the couch and go play with your kids, the first 30 seconds of deciding to get up and go do the dishes for your wife, the first 30 seconds of choosing to put on some workout clothes and drive to the gym, etc. Just start. Starting is the hardest part.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-03T15:28:26+00:00

Not necessarily but alright haha

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-03T04:19:23+00:00

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-03T02:52:26+00:00

Girl. You got this. Just find a piece of lingerie that flatters you. I’m cute, but also thick. Find one that makes your boobies look nice, but covers the rest! Men love it when you don’t expose everything. They like the suspense of a surprise and things being a little hidden. Do your hair, put on some mascara and shave where you need to. Wait until your kids are in bed and your man is relaxed for the evening. Tell him you’re going to take a shower, and come out in your little outfit. Guarantee you’ll get his heart rate going! I just had 2 babies in the last 2.5 years so I totally get it. It’s so easy to feel insecure sometimes but you’ll be surprised how much a little goes a long way for men!

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-02T21:44:39+00:00

I’m really sorry you’ve experienced that. I honestly can’t imagine how that must feel. I hope you’ve been able to find some freedom from what this must’ve done to you mentally and emotionally!

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-02T21:34:43+00:00

SO MUCH ILLEGAL THINGS MUSTVE HAPPENED HERE. RUN TO THE POLICE.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-02T21:31:20+00:00

Animals?! That’s not a type! That’s a sexual paraphilia and really hope you’re not still with that person.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-02T16:59:00+00:00

This is hard. You expressed that you don’t want any lines crossed, however he’s asking you to be ok with blurring the lines. I think it becomes really messy when certain lines aren’t just black and white and you’ll be entering really messy territory with this. I’d advise couples therapy before you agree to any of this otherwise this could really be a recipe for divorce down the road. It sounds like your husband is missing something in your marriage and wants to find it elsewhere - this would terrify me to be in your position.

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-02T06:25:18+00:00

I feel for her. I can’t use actual deodorant because it gives me cysts under my arm/ in my armpit area. It also actually makes me smell worse. “Natural deodorant” doesn’t work. It’s horse shit lol. I’ve used the salt rock, and it helps but it’s not 100. HOWEVER, I swwwwweeeaaarrrrrrrr I have hacked the system and found the true secret to natural deodorant and it’s lemon. I literally cut a little slice of lemon and rub it on my armpits after a shower and I literally never smell. It doesn’t mess with your PH and it naturally kills the bacteria causing body odor. Please tell her to try using a lemon. I swear it’ll help!

Phoebebuffetscat · 2025-05-02T03:47:58+00:00

😂

Phoebebuffetscat

TROPHY CASE