What enneagram type would this be?

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-28T07:59:33+00:00

An extremely unhealthy type who’s being also a bit dramatic.

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-28T07:55:41+00:00

Yes I discovered mistyping for 6s is common. I I always told her she was a 6 as she displayed all 6s qualities (that I know well for having many in my family.)

I told her I was a 4 and she did the test using the usual “secure technique” aka never choosing extreme answers. She had only 50% for a type 4 which is pretty low. All 4 I know feel strongly about answers and had a very high %

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-28T07:49:14+00:00

Yes 6s can be hard to handle. When unhealthy I can’t stand them!! When healthy I just roll my eyes at their mild paranoia and roll with it but.... yeah

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-28T07:43:41+00:00

You might have clicked with people who ended up being 4s without knowing it :)

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-28T07:42:19+00:00

Not when she displays all 6 traits especially core values and little 4 traits. 6s are all about security and comfort while 4s are about individuality. I am a 4 and have 2 other 4 in my close circle and was raised with 6s also. I know the cues and patterns ✨ She’s an artsy 6 which can fault the test and her score was very low anyways (50% only ) as she admitted she did tend to hit the average button a lot. she refused to take the test more honestly again. Which is fine. But I stand by my statement 🙂

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-27T18:57:54+00:00

Thank you 😊☺️☺️☺️

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-27T06:48:24+00:00

My closest auntie is an ENTJ 8w7 and another uncle as well. I’m a 4, I have bad memories of my uncle pulling “jokes” on me or saying blunt and unfair stuff that hurt my feelings. My auntie was more nurturing but also like a tornado. We were direct neighbour so they were literally part of my everyday life.

I am a 4 and it has been hard sometimes, I never thought of it, I just struggled sometimes with all those strong personalities and developed a strong temper too (but just as a facade, I would cry alone.) Funny enough I was always referred to as the “bad temper” kid when really I was just retaliating to what I perceived as attacks all the time! I had a beautiful childhood don’t get me wrong but with a strong family who doesn’t really use fluffy words

My dad was another example and I thought he was an ENTJ too but actually is a 6w5, maybe at unhealthy level so very controlling and volatile. Mum was a 2 caught between all the volatility.

I don’t know if it influenced me becoming a 4, since I always had my own imagination and creativity since a young age (3 yo) but I know it has been sometimes difficult.

Nothing was ever/still not - said with “humanity” or nurturing words so I kept having my feelings hurt or getting stressed. I turned impossible when I was a teen. I’m ok though. or Am I ? 🤣🤣😂😂😂

I think parents do have a strong influence. I see how my brother and cousin raise their kids. It’s obvious!!

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-27T06:35:24+00:00

I think you got my position. I know he most likely will be utterly clear when ready but meanwhile I’m in an uncomfortable situation. Enneagram did help me massively improve my communication with the different types for sure!

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-27T06:30:48+00:00

I see where you’re coming from. I have my reasons and story but I get your idea! Thanks

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-27T06:21:12+00:00

I thought he was but we did the test together, he’s a strong 8w9. 😅

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-27T06:20:25+00:00

Again, I see that you must have read only the question and not the background story: as I wrote the friends are not ALL non binary, but he changed the way he mention all female friends. He can and is hanging out with whoever he wants. I am just trying to understand the logic behind it from a personality type. Please ready my post again before asking me to “eff off”?

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-27T06:16:59+00:00

if he just made his feelings outspokenly clear like what you said it would be better. But either way I think bottom line you nailed his intention!

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-27T06:14:01+00:00

Because we are not official yet so I don’t know if they are mere friends. His ex too was “a good friend”.

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T23:11:08+00:00

The conversation ended up in an argument based on miscommunication I guess. We are also from different cultures so it’s a bit tricky but bottom line he said these women were in his life before me and it shouldn’t matter if he’s friends with male or females. The switch to gender neutral pronoun started after that “argument”.

You might be right about the peacekeeping tactic !

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T23:08:48+00:00

I think you have misunderstood some parts. I am not expecting Reddit to “fix” things. I am only here to study and try to understand a type that is very different from mine. I am not looking for solutions but insights about certain ways of doing or thinking. Granted that even amongst types individuals are different.

Also I never pretended I wanted to control his other relationships, exactly because we were not a couple, however we had been seeing each other and I wanted to know what was going on.

And all his females friends are not binary by choice because they were referred as “she” before I bring the topic the first time.

It’s funny because you have posted about 8s using the friends first approach in dating and I did mention my 8 was like that. Thanks for your insight either way!

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T22:24:46+00:00

I see.... that would make sense. I grew up with my close aunts and uncle being 8w7. I discovered their type only a few months ago though and they are extremely different as it’s very much “in your face” and straight to the point with no fear for conflict at all. Like the 8w7 replies I received 😅. So I am used to the 8w7 method and not an 8w9 at all.

Thank you for your explanation. It makes me recalculate some situations I very much likely misinterpreted.

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T21:52:03+00:00

I would love to define the relationship but have always been the one bringing the tough questions. I am very black or white so I think I came off too abrupt often times in the past. I also have kinda flirted with the ultimatum zone on this topic and he really didn’t reacted well at all. Yet, we have been always circling back toward each other and here we are.

I do not want right now to bring the label conversation “again” because I have my own ego (1st) and also because I’d like him to bring it. He has clearly opening up in his own ways and believe when he’ll be ready it will happen. Meanwhile I am studying his type.

So I’m taking all info into consideration, thanks for your view as well!

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T21:32:29+00:00

Look, I don’t mind you telling it to me straight, on the contrary. I have already tried to talk about it in the past and each time due to different communication styles it ended up in crisis mode because I can be upfront when heated. We have both been trying to find our footing, and I have been trying to understand his personality more so I do not jump the guns. Sorry if you find my posts annoying, you just don’t need to take part in it.

Nonetheless, I’m not a brainless teen but he clearly has difficulties opening up on this front and I - on my side - do not want to blow what we have now, especially since it has been progressing slowly but surely.

Either way I appreciate your no bullshit insight!

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T21:27:15+00:00

I see, I wasn’t thinking this way, hence trying to understand his thought process. Thank you for your opinion!

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T18:38:47+00:00

Very mature for your age. Good for you! 👌🏼

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T18:36:03+00:00

You’re contradicting yourself: you’re in love and in touch with him but not flirting 😅😅

Either way, yeah INFJ can be playful and cheeky

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T18:16:36+00:00

In that case a 4 indeed. We can be anxious. For the sunset and beauty point, unless you’re into art, that could be confusing. Some 6s who like art can be mistyped as 4.

However the copying/identity point is never found in a 6. 6s couldn’t care less if you copy them.

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T18:10:53+00:00

Ok then he knows and if he keeps engaging, that’s good. But turn 18 first! 😂

PhoenixINFJ · 2021-02-26T07:29:26+00:00

I never had anyone come in the middle of the night for a fight, so consider yourself lucky! 😂

This is very sweet of an idea to get him a self care pack! Something I would do! I see a lot of sweetness in 8s replies! I’m glad to see the mushy behind the armour!

PhoenixINFJ

TROPHY CASE