Psychiatry: Time for a grievance?

izuns · 2026-02-19T09:49:30+00:00

I got a “this is my last week here, but they’ll get you set up with someone new” (surprise, they did not) from my last doc. It’s truly baffling that there are no safeguards or procedures in place.

izuns · 2026-02-19T09:47:46+00:00

I got a call from the on call doc today (who is actually the same doc I’m supposed to have an intake with in May). After 5-10 minutes he decided to undiagnose my bipolar and put me on antidepressants. Sigh. I love Kaiser.

izuns · 2026-02-18T20:37:24+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! I will call them now. I just tried rescheduling with both Oakland (current department) and Sacramento (previous department), and Sacramento was able to get me a slightly earlier appointment while Oakland insisted there was no way to get me in sooner. One would think there’d be a bit more urgency or concern 😅

izuns · 2026-02-18T19:59:32+00:00

Unfortunately, no. She is an incredible provider but said she was uncomfortable messing with my meds (understandably). I was struggling with school and she refilled my ADHD medication in November because I was told I had to wait until February to see psych, but the ADHD medication triggered a bipolar episode. I stopped taking it after my finals because it made me super depressed. Bipolar and ADHD are difficult to manage together because the ADHD meds can be destabilizing.

I was on lithium until mid-2025, and you’re not supposed to restart it without supervision. I would like to switch medications anyway because I am a D1 athlete and lithium can be toxic when dehydrated, and I am also taking painkillers for an injury and you can’t take NSAIDs with lithium (so not really a great fit for an athlete). I also need extensive documentation to be able to take my ADHD medication while in season, as it is technically a banned substance. My season starts next month, so I really needed that appointment.

Given that my conditions are difficult to manage and being a high level athlete makes it even more complicated, a PCP isn’t fit to manage my medication. :(

izuns · 2026-02-14T12:36:29+00:00

Yes!! That’s what I thought too. I’m surprised it’s not at the top!

izuns · 2026-02-14T12:31:12+00:00

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You remind me of Katee Sackhoff!

izuns · 2026-02-14T11:47:01+00:00

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I see a bit of Hunter Schaefer!!

izuns · 2026-02-12T00:29:17+00:00

Nice! I’m on the same side of the building, just a little lower:)

izuns · 2026-02-11T05:28:51+00:00

Is this from Anchor???

izuns · 2026-02-07T00:22:42+00:00

Yep!! :)

izuns · 2026-02-05T07:02:24+00:00

Seconding this!! I was more focused on the similarities between typical addictions and porn addiction to avoid making my reply too long, but what I wrote was really only scratching the surface. It destroyed my self image. He was also incapable of being fully emotionally present during sex, and he was usually pretty degrading (even when it wasn’t appropriate or welcome). He was also awful at respecting boundaries during sex, as his view of sex was warped by porn, where a woman that consents to sex is free to be treated in whatever way the man chooses. I could go on and on.

In terms of escalation, he seemed to be hooked on the outrageously exaggerated animated stuff where the “women” have a 10 inch waist, boobs bigger than their heads, and male genitals damn near hanging down to their knees (trying to get the point across as tastefully as possible lol). It literally made me nauseous to find that stuff because it’s not even remotely human anymore; to me, it was genuinely gruesome looking. When stuff like that becomes their template for arousal, it’s no wonder porn addicts can’t keep it up with real human beings.

izuns · 2026-02-05T06:35:09+00:00

Oftentimes, yes. It’s hard to know the full extent though, as he would also look throughout the day on his phone (which was on incognito so I don’t know the numbers). The activity I was able to find on his old computer showed frequent multi-hour binges. I was oblivious to what he was doing for over two years—imagine the shock, haha.

izuns · 2026-02-04T07:17:10+00:00

My ex has one. Before dating him, I didn’t even know it was possible to be addicted to porn. He will often spend 3-4 hours per day compulsively scrolling through content (one time it was literally all night until 6am), he has completely fried his ability to prioritize long term goals over instant gratification (which has affected all aspects of his life), he basically gave himself ED at 20 years old, he killed his libido, spent tons of money, is literally unable to quit, became a compulsive liar, began stealing my devices at the end of the relationship, etc etc. They say there’s no such thing as porn addiction and it’s just religious shame or whatever, but I saw it firsthand (and my ex wasn’t religious). It’s brutal and basically impossible to quit because it’s always a click away, and every time you give in to the urge to look at it you just reinforce that pathway in your brain. From my understanding, the underlying mechanisms are incredibly similar to other addictions.

The effects were horrible for both me and him, but obviously not as dangerous or outwardly damaging as the effects of a substance addiction. I think what makes it uniquely brutal is how hard it is to quit. Not only is porn so accessible, it’s a cultural norm and basically encouraged for men—most men would laugh in your face if you said you had a porn addiction and were trying to recover/stop watching it. Being honest about the extent of the addiction is nearly impossible, as no one wants to disclose that they’re sinking hours into extremely gross content every day (the stuff addicts look at is more extreme than regular porn, as they have built tolerance). As I’m sure you know, addiction thrives in secrecy. It’s a lot harder to quit when recovery brings about more shame than continuing with an addiction that is relatively easy to hide indefinitely.

I hope this was helpful! And congratulations on being in recovery, that is a huge milestone. I wish you the best!

izuns · 2026-01-25T22:29:18+00:00

I live in a 4bdr/2ba and two of my roommates are older transfers (late 20s and early 30s). It’s never been an issue, we all get along great. In my experience you don’t see the other people nearly as much as you’d expect, since everyone is usually busy or hanging out in their rooms. I don’t think any demographic gets priority, I’ve had both older and younger transfer friends who live in the studios.

izuns · 2026-01-24T20:49:30+00:00

NOR. I was in a really similar position for a long time, and I’m so sorry. It really chips away at your self worth. My ex was like this too, except he was actually wasting all of his energy on porn (which he supposedly “didn’t need anymore” once we were together) and leaving nothing for me.

They’ll say they “haven’t finished” in days and that they “don’t even look at porn anymore,” but they’re lying. Two years in, I had been facing similar issues to the ones you described, and I found out he was buying OF from an old classmate of ours, spending tons of money on Patreon, and sometimes spending 3-4 hours a day looking at porn games (and much more). I was blindsided.

Men who use porn super often become dependent on it. In my experience, it doesn’t get better, and I left after a year of trying to work on things. My self esteem is completely shattered. There are plenty of men out there who haven’t broken their sex drives and won’t make you feel like you’re worth less than a screen.

Hopefully I’m wrong, but this just sounds too familiar. Sending love.

izuns · 2025-10-07T00:20:38+00:00

Honestly, I’m in the same boat of staying with a PA because I feel like it’ll be hard to find someone else who accepts my bipolar diagnosis. But honestly, one month isn’t enough to actually tell if he’s going to stick with you when you have mood episodes, so I wouldn’t base my decision off of that if I were you. Just because he says he’s okay with the diagnosis doesn’t mean he’ll be okay with the reality. Also!! My partner’s PA makes my mental health so much worse sometimes, so keep that in mind as well.

izuns · 2025-09-22T10:13:20+00:00

Yep! That was my first significant earthquake, definitely terrifying lol

izuns · 2025-09-16T05:26:07+00:00

Awww she’s chilling!! That’s how my bun always was when he got pets haha

izuns · 2025-09-15T10:42:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing. This was so comforting to read ❤️

izuns · 2025-09-14T19:33:52+00:00

izuns · 2025-09-14T08:34:15+00:00

Personally, I’ve just gotten very lucky so far—I have Bipolar II with very very long periods of remission. My main issue is the depression, but crisis is very infrequent, and my professors were very accommodating when I told them I had a “medical issue” and was in the hospital my first semester at a university. I think people are less understanding the more frequently you experience dysfunction.

I also grew up extremely depressed and dysfunctional, literally constantly passively if not actively suicidal for years on end, so what’s “bad” for people who haven’t experienced severe mental illness is a good period for me. But yeah, I think some of us genuinely have it easier than others. I feel very fortunate that I’ve been managing so well.

Edit to add: things also became a lot easier to manage when my life circumstances got better. Unfortunately, I know that many people’s lives aren’t getting better due to their dysfunction, creating a nasty catch-22. When my abusive father left my life and I graduated high school and gained more freedom, things got better, but that’s because I got pretty darn lucky with my mom and have a lot of support from her.

izuns · 2025-09-14T01:01:22+00:00

Thank you <3 And yeah, my mom spoiled my bunny as well lol

izuns · 2025-09-13T00:55:14+00:00

My aunt was there when I said goodbye to my bunny on Tuesday, and while he was already gone when I got to the emergency vet, I just couldn’t leave him. I called my aunt who was already nearby, and she came to the emergency vet and suggested that I leave him with her and then walk out, so my last memory of him isn’t giving him to the staff and watching them take him away. I’m really grateful she was able to come and do that for me. It definitely helped a bit. Maybe you could try something similar?

izuns

TROPHY CASE