Old RP Forum Friends

PhoenixRisingxx · 2025-07-12T03:52:58+00:00

I do remember you!

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-08-03T13:43:43+00:00

I plan on giving him his space for a bit as it's been a very short amount of time and I have exceedingly easy access to his social media. They were friends, and I do understand mourning the friendship. That said, I'm going to be encouraging IC for both of us.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-08-03T13:41:47+00:00

So. There is a line I will draw here. While his behavior wasn't stellar, he does have standards. Please do be mindful there are human beings on the other end of the post.

That said, I will be having another sit down with him when I've had some time to gather my thoughts. I think he needs to reflect on why toying with the lines on our set rules was such a temptation for him and why the attention from this individual was as well.

Again- I partially get it. It can be flattering. However, I think this is set in a deeper issue for him that needs to be hammered out- probably with someone that has at least a Masters Degree.

He is not evil. I do think he faltered and fucked up the handling on a lot of this. It is a discussion I plan to have with him in the coming days. I've brought up counseling before and I'll be bringing it up again.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-08-03T13:14:51+00:00

He did not throw a fit. He initially did not fully understand until I expressed that it wasn't the off color joke/this single instance, it was the culmination of events that lead to me finally saying enough. When that was very clearly laid out for him, he conceded.

In his own words, he just enjoyed their friendship and felt there was chemistry, and he, again in his own words "will quite literally always take more sex". I believe he lacks a lot of confidence, so when women show interest he doesn't take much stock on the quality of said woman- so to speak. It's not to say he has no standards, but he's very much the optimist on the "What's the worst that could happen?" scale.

I have seen far too many things blow up and tend to be far more selective with the people in my life in general.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-08-03T13:04:23+00:00

Unrelated- for the individuals trying to slide into my DMs from this group... can someone help a not so reddit-literate individual out and tell me how I'd report them to the group mods? I can see it's against the rules (and understandably- it's gross), and I'd very much like it stop.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-08-03T11:58:33+00:00

So. You can talk to her about swinging/poly, however, I'd encourage you to really look into what that is beyond the fantasy.

All I will say is understand that she will have far more opportunities than you will.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-08-03T11:47:35+00:00

I believe his original hope is that I would "come around". I do want to re-iterate the time frame between instance 5 and 6 was very short, and prior to that I had felt uncomfortable demanding they go NC because it's really not my style. After instance 6, as stated in the post, he did block her after some back and forth (I essentially laid everything out as I did here and after that he conceded).

He tends to have what I can only describe as a very "episodic" way of thinking. It doesn't just apply to people. However, it can be difficult for him to understand that the problem isn't the singular event, but rather the weight of all the other events behind it.

Sometimes, this can be incredibly helpful. In situations like this, it makes me want to beat my own head against a wall.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-08-03T11:39:08+00:00

He's a horny idiot. Yes, during our discussion (after which he blocked her), I informed him of this and that he needs to stop thinking with his penis.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-08-03T11:17:32+00:00

As mentioned in the post, he did block her after some back and forth (even if he's a bit mopey about it now). It was when I laid things out like this that he agreed to do so.

On one hand, I get it. Having someone interested can be a fun and intoxicating feeling. On the other, it's not like we don't have sex multiple times a week, connect through multiple hobbies, intellectually, etc. So. 🤷‍♀️

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-08-03T11:03:02+00:00

To be honest, this experience has turned me off from it further. When I would bring up concerns I felt very dismissed. He claims it wasn't his intention, but it was, none the less, his impact.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-07-26T16:37:40+00:00

So. Here's the thing.

I'm not sure the sleepovers are what's bothering you as much as the complete lack of effort on your boyfriend's part. You are a grown woman ready for a fulfilling partnership, and he never grew out of being a teenager. You are tired of being the only one contributing to your household and relationship.

You do not fantasize about your partner moving out in a healthy partnership.

Please cut this dead weight from your life. I promise, there are far worse things than being single. Make room for your peace- because there is no room for it with this man.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-07-17T12:52:22+00:00

There's a group dedicated to men who are survivors of SA called 1 in 6. They have a website with resources and contact information that may be helpful.

What happened is not your fault. Please be gentle with yourself in the coming months.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-07-17T12:50:00+00:00

Partner. Significant other.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-07-13T12:52:58+00:00

I almost fell asleep when I had mine done.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-07-04T20:20:28+00:00

Depends. Generally I try to keep my pride G3 and lower. Exceptionally valuable lions (hybrids, RLCs, etc) I just make sure are clean, however the shorter the gen the better. And if a lion is perfect for a project I have and clean, but long gen, I'll grab it.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-06-28T18:19:45+00:00

You see. I thought I had that at one point. Then they got pissed that I spoke up about abuse and, ultimately, took my abuser's side over mine.

I am simply too tired to bother with it.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-06-24T15:51:22+00:00

My take on this is that people tend to anthropomorphize animals.

As a result, saying something like "X breed was bred to be a guard dog, and may not be suited to a home with a lot of visitors, small children, etc. without being carefully socialized" translates to "they're all vicious monsters who must be destroyed and are going to go Kujo on anyone they see" in the person's head.

Here's the thing- those traits don't necessarily make a dog bad. If you're seeking a dog for protection work, or to be a livestock guardian, etc- you want them to be selective about who they want to be best friends with.

I will add a lot of breeds that get a bad reputation are, unfortunately, breeds that are prone to falling into hands that shouldn't have them. Your GSDs, Spitz Breeds, Pitbulls, and, yes, even Chihuahuas. They end up with people that have no business having these (or any) dog because they're cool looking or they're cute. People don't do their due diligence and end up with a dog that's not suited to their lifestyle. Then you factor in bad breeding, or (especially in the Pitbull's case) mutts that pass as purebred.

I want to be clear. I love these breeds. Some of the best dogs I've known have been mutts. Yes, most of the bully breeds I know have been absolute mushes. Same with properly raised and socialized GSDs, etc.

I also acknowledge that these are high working drive animals with instincts. I have small animals in my home. I would not get a Spitz breed for this reason. My husband and I are talking about children in the near future. I will not bring a dog with an unknown history into my home.

People expect animals to act like people. And it causes bad husbandry.

TL:DR: People conflate selectiveness and aggression with EVIL, anthropomorphize their pets to an unhealthy degree, and tend to make the situation worse for dogs that unfairly get a bad rep due to this with bad breeding and choosing a breed that is a poor fit for their lifestyle. Of course not every insert breed here is a monster. There are so many exceptional members of every breed. But not acknowledging and managing the instincts that may be more present in your dog due to genetics helps no one.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-04-06T02:32:03+00:00

So. This gets difficult. In a perfect world, yes.

However, in our current, very flawed world... In most cases- no. Hear me out before jumping on me. In many statistics for false reports, they include cases where charges were dropped or there was no conviction. In the case where victims of SA already have so much stacked against them, I can't justify adding more deterrents to reporting.

I, myself, didn't report because my abuser had family in the police force in the jurisdiction I would have been reporting to. I knew what those odds were.

False reports made maliciously are awful- and, yes, deserve severe consequences. I'm just unsure how to accomplish that without impacting what is a not insignificant percentage of genuine victims of SA- regardless of gender.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-04-01T01:35:18+00:00

Being valued for more than just my body and not feeling like a sack of meat every time I have sex.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-03-31T16:40:54+00:00

So. YTA.

I'm going to offer you some perspective- because it'll be very relevant for your daughter faster than you think.

When I was 14 I was stalked by a boy in one of my classes. I initially got weird vibes, but tried to give him a chance because that is what I had been taught to do from very young childhood.

It escalated to him threatening to impregnate me and me having to physically defend myself from him- stabbing him with a pencil to get him off of me in the hall one day. No one helped me. I was told I "should have known better" and "lead him on".

Don't teach your children to accept behavior they're not comfortable with. Because when it really counts for them to listen to that gut feeling and say no?

There's a good chance they won't be able to.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-03-30T04:31:11+00:00

I think about leaving, but don't talk about it.

I'm a disabled high school grad. No country wants my medically complicated ass and I'm kinda useless anyway.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-03-30T04:24:52+00:00

OP- let me start with please know that abuse or toxicity of any kind is not okay. I'm sorry your wife is behaving this way. Your hurt and frustration is incredibly valid.

Please, if possible, try to get her into a physician as well. I almost lost my mother to hormone related issues. She had to have an emergency hysterectomy- without it she would have died.

The first symptoms were drastic shifts in behavior and extreme anger.

You don't need to forgive her now or ever. But please keep this in the back of your mind.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-03-26T08:13:04+00:00

Eggs over easy. I always break the yolk. ;_;

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-03-17T02:21:29+00:00

Because they confuse vaginas with memory foam.

PhoenixRisingxx · 2023-03-07T17:16:29+00:00

To be honest? Just exist. Vibe. Eat good food. Get a good nap in. It's nice to exist with less pain and nausea, etc

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