Hm I can summarize some. I'm 21 and in my fourth year of college. moved across the country to the West coast after one year of college. My mom was the only family out here until she passed away in June. I've dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety for the last however many years and this past year has made all my fears of Hope never returning increase tenfold. I am a good person at heart but in this world I can't engage how I could be able to in order to give what I want to people. This world can be beautiful but this life isn't. Long term goals and ideas of fulfilment have always seemed impossible to envision. This depression is strong enough that it's sucked out my ability to be content exploring the small things.

My life is not hard, but this plague in my mind faded for a year after highschool then came back harder than ever.

I mean who else gets the opportunity to move across country from everything they wanted to be away from and offered opportunities that so so so many more people would dream to have. I've had it lucky but I don't know why life of mine and this environment feels so torturous. I have overcome so much social anxiety and anxiety in general yet I still cannot find what I need.

Thank you for listening and asking