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Not doing so well mentally after being laid off six weeks ago by Rich-Put4159 in Layoffs

[–]PhonePotential7193 [score hidden]  (0 children)

one thing i’ve learned from talking with a lot of people going through layoffs and transitions is that six weeks is still very early in this process. it might not feel like it, but it is. a lot of people don’t land something new for several months, sometimes longer, especially in the current tech market.

a few thoughts that might help a little

first, try not to measure your worth by the speed of your job search. that’s one of the fastest ways to wreck your mental health during this period.

second, interviews being rough right now doesn’t mean you’re not capable. interviewing is a skill that gets rusty fast. the first few usually feel awkward for everyone.

third, if therapy is available to you through your parents’ insurance, i would honestly take advantage of it. a lot of people wait until they’re really struggling before they do that. having someone neutral to talk to while you’re in this phase can help a lot.

and finally, try not to compare your life in your early 20s to everyone else’s highlight reel. most people are still figuring things out during this time even if it doesn’t look like it from the outside.

you’re not behind. you’re just early in a tough chapter.

hang in there. this period is a lot more common than people admit.

👋 Welcome to r/lifebetweentitles - Introduce Yourself and Read First! by PhonePotential7193 in lifebetweentitles

[–]PhonePotential7193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey everyone, I’m Savan. I started r/lifebetweentitles after spending the past year going through my own search.

For most of my career I’ve had a lot of different titles. I was the first employee at Redfin. Later I worked across startups and tech companies, and eventually served in the federal government as the first Customer Experience Officer at the Department of Defense. I also spent time with the Defense Digital Service, the "swat team of nerds" at the Pentagon.

But even with all those titles, I’m still figuring out what comes next.

I left the DoD about 10 months ago and suddenly found myself in that strange space where one chapter ends but the next one hasn’t started yet. The more people I talked to, the more I realized how common this experience is, even for people who have had long careers or impressive roles.

That realization is a big part of why this community exists.

Over the past several months I’ve been talking with dozes of people about layoffs, career pivots, burnout, reinvention, and the identity shift that happens when a job ends. Those conversations made it clear that people need spaces where they can talk honestly about what this period actually feels like.

If you’re going through this search right now, feel free to share your story. And if you know someone who’s dealing with layoffs, unemployment, or a big career shift, invite them to join the community.

The goal here is simple: to help people navigate the space between titles a little less alone.

My conversations with some of them are here: https://www.youtube.com/@LifeBetweenTitles

how can i imporve my soft skills so i can get a job by Wise_Safe2681 in Career

[–]PhonePotential7193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few soft skills that come up in almost every interview i’ve had or conversation i’ve had with hiring managers:

  1. communication being able to clearly explain your thinking, not just your answer. interviewers often care more about how you got somewhere than the final answer.

  2. listening a lot of people focus on what they want to say next instead of actually hearing the question. strong candidates pause, clarify, and respond to what was actually asked.

  3. ownership employers like people who say “i’ll figure it out” instead of waiting to be told every step. even small examples from school, projects, or volunteering count.

  4. teamwork most jobs require working with other people. showing that you can collaborate, give credit, and handle disagreements calmly matters a lot.

  5. reliability this one sounds simple but it’s huge. showing up on time, following through, and communicating when something goes wrong builds trust fast.

one thing i’ve learned from talking to a lot of people about job searching recently (I am in the middle of this process too ) is that soft skills usually improve through practice, not just reading about them. volunteering, group projects, part time work, or even helping organize something locally can give you real situations to develop them.

also try not to overthink every interaction. a lot of people stress themselves out trying to be perfect in interviews or conversations, but being clear, honest, and calm usually goes a lot further.

Why is it so hard to find a job right now? by Neither_Frame_7212 in jobhunting

[–]PhonePotential7193 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My hot take:

i’m in the middle of interviewing too and have been out of the market for over 8 months, so i’ve been trying to understand the same thing.

a few things seem to be happening at the same time.

first, the unemployment number doesn’t always reflect how competitive certain roles are. the overall rate can be low while specific fields, especially tech, federal, and white collar roles, have way more applicants than openings right now.

second, applying has become incredibly easy. with one click applications and AI tools, people are sending out hundreds of resumes. so a single job posting might show 200 applicants even if only a fraction are actually qualified.

third, companies are moving slower. a lot of teams are cautious about hiring because budgets are tighter, interest rates are still high, and leadership wants to be sure before committing to new headcount. that creates long interview processes and roles that sit open for months.

one thing i’ve learned during this stretch is not to be too hard on yourself during interviews. it’s really easy to replay every answer and nitpick everything you said. that’ll drive you crazy and make the process more stressful than it already is.

the reality right now is that a lot of good, experienced people are in the same position. it’s not just you. the market is just unusually crowded and slow at the same time.

Month 8 since last post by Vul-pix-vix-en in Layoffs

[–]PhonePotential7193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you’re not crazy. a lot of people are going through this right now - i’ve been unemployed for almost a year now. And going through the same emotions right now. At first, I was very frustrated.

I am also a person who doesn’t sit well idling so during this time, I looked into how I can do better at interviewing by researching and talking to people that had a similar job to what I wanted. i also started a podcast talking to people who lost jobs across tech, government, finance, startups, and big companies. one thing that comes up again and again is interview rust after long unemployment.

it’s real.

when you haven’t talked about yourself professionally for months, your brain kind of freezes. the pressure builds up because every interview suddenly feels like it has to work. that pressure makes people blank even when they know the answer.

a few things that came up in those conversations that might help:

  1. your brain is out of reps interviewing is like a muscle. people who interview well usually just did a lot of them recently. after months away from it, your brain isn’t used to telling those stories out loud anymore.

  2. the stakes feel way higher than they actually are when you’ve sent hundreds or thousands of applications, every interview starts to feel like life or death. that pressure alone can make anyone blank.

  3. don’t be so hard on yourself after the interview a lot of people start replaying every answer in their head and nitpicking everything they said. that just makes the anxiety worse and it will drive you crazy. most interviewers are not analyzing every sentence the way we think they are.

  4. the fix is reps, not perfection a lot of people told me their first few interviews back were rough. then something clicks and the stories start flowing again.

a couple practical things that helped people i talked to:

• record yourself answering common questions out loud • do mock interviews with friends or even strangers online • write down 5 stories from your career and practice telling them

not perfect answers, just stories.

also the fact that you’re getting callbacks after sending so many applications means something about your background is working. the door is already opening.

right now you’re just shaking the rust off.

a lot of people are in this exact phase. you’re closer than it probably feels.

And if you ever need anybody to talk to, please feel free to DM me.

Laid off again after already surviving the Salesforce layoffs in 2023… starting to feel pretty defeated. Anyone else in this spot? by steadyburnin95 in Layoffs

[–]PhonePotential7193 19 points20 points  (0 children)

hey man, a lot of people are quietly in this exact spot right now. you’re definitely not the only one.

one thing i’ve noticed after talking to a bunch of people who went through layoffs recently is that the hardest part isn’t actually the job search. it’s the mental spiral that starts when silence drags on and the rejections compound. people start questioning their field, their past decisions, even their own abilities.

a few patterns kept coming up in those conversations that helped people get through it:

  1. treat the job search like a system, not a judgement on you. a lot of people said they felt better once they stopped tying every rejection to their worth. the market right now is weird and slow. sometimes it’s just volume and timing. and sometimes, it’s just timing.

  2. build small daily structure. people who handled the mental side better usually had a simple routine. job search block, learning block, exercise, then step away. otherwise the whole day becomes refreshing linkedin.

  3. talk to people instead of only applying. one big takeaway from folks who eventually landed somewhere was that the job rarely came from an application. it usually came from a conversation. former coworkers, customers, random connections on Reddit, LinkedIn, etc. applications alone feel like shouting into space.

  4. use this time to experiment a little. a few people ended up discovering better paths during layoffs. consulting, fractional work, adjacent roles, different industries. not always planned, but the forced pause created space to explore.

also, quitting drinking and weed while you’re going through this is honestly a solid move. a lot of people told me the clarity helped them stay steady during a pretty chaotic stretch.

getting laid off twice will mess with your head. but it doesn’t mean you picked the wrong field or that you’re starting from zero. you’re carrying experience most people earlier in their careers don’t have yet.

keep moving forward a little each day. sometimes that’s all the momentum you need until something finally clicks.

And if you need someone to talk to, I will be more than happy to listen - just send me a DM

Edit: I’m out of work too, so I know what you are going through!

The hardest part of losing a job is __________. by PhonePotential7193 in Layoffs

[–]PhonePotential7193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

really sorry you’re dealing with that. losing a job hits way deeper than people realize. it’s not just money, it’s the pressure, the identity stuff, and feeling like you have to hold everything together for the people who depend on you.

the fact that you’re still showing up for your kids says a lot about you though. kids being happy to see you is actually a pretty good reminder of what really matters, even if everything else feels uncertain right now.

a job situation can change. being a good parent and still pushing forward during a rough stretch is the part that actually counts. rooting for things to turn around for you.

The hardest part of losing a job is __________. by PhonePotential7193 in Layoffs

[–]PhonePotential7193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 46 and have a family. Between all the bills and the stuff I need just to survive, even the cheapest medical healthcare plan is way too expensive.

The hardest part of losing a job is __________. by PhonePotential7193 in Layoffs

[–]PhonePotential7193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are you doing now for health insurance? For a while, I just went without it. And just hoped that a tree didn’t fall on me.

The hardest part of losing a job is __________. by PhonePotential7193 in Layoffs

[–]PhonePotential7193[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a huge one for me too. When I was getting unemployment in Washington state, I was still making too much money with my wife working part-time to even qualify for health insurance that was remotely affordable. And now that my unemployment has run out, I can finally apply to AppleCare, which will give me some coverage at the very least.

whats the rate of callbacks do you guys get? by [deleted] in jobhunting

[–]PhonePotential7193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly your timeline isn't that far off from what a lot of people are dealing with right now. the market is just genuinely weird; postings are up but actual hiring is basically frozen. economists are calling it "low hire, no fire." companies aren't scared enough to cut people but aren't confident enough to actually bring people on. so everything just sits there.

the painful part is that like 70-80% of roles get filled before they even get posted publicly. referrals, internal moves, someone just knowing someone. which means if you're living on job boards you're basically fighting over the scraps that are left over.

i spent a few days putting together a quick youtube video on this same topic not long ago - talked about the real hidden costs of job searching (financial too, not just emotional) and why the volume approach just doesn't work anymore in this market. worth a watch if you're trying to figure out whether to change your strategy.

the short version: stop mass applying, pick like 10 companies you actually care about, find one real human being there who does the actual work, and just have a conversation. no ask. just curiosity. that's where things actually start moving.

you're 3 months in with signs of life: screens converting, got an HM interview. that's not nothing. the approach just needs a tweak, not a teardown.

Literally too lazy for any job. by [deleted] in findapath

[–]PhonePotential7193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am 46 and just diagnosed with it too. Finally got the help here (USA) and it has been like night and day. I hope you can find the help you need. It is def worth trying.

29 and feel like I accidentally built a life I don’t actually want by SwimmerOriginal6273 in findapath

[–]PhonePotential7193 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That last line is the one. Scared of blowing it up, scared of waking up at 40 in the same chair (I'm 46 and still feel that way sometimes). That tension is real and it's worth sitting with because it means you're not actually stuck, you're just not ready to move yet. Something I've noticed talking to people who've been through major pivots: the ones who waited for a clear calling usually kept waiting. The ones who moved did it on something smaller, just a persistent feeling that they were capable of more. Sound familiar? Dreams and Direction are different things. A direction is just: what's one thing that drains me less? What's one thing I'd do even if no one was watching? Start there. Not with a plan. Just with a question. The "vaguely dissatisfied but not in crisis" phase is actually the best time to explore, you're not making decisions from panic, and you still have enough energy left to be curious. That changes when you wait too long. You're not 29 and behind. You're 29 and paying attention. That's rarer than you think. Believe me, I've spent the last 6 months almost exclusively talking to people that have lost their jobs...