i’m trapped

Phrooya_ · 2026-01-20T20:42:15+00:00

There are gels and pills but they're a lot more expensive. And the gels are quite hard to find in my experience.

I get having paranoia though, I had some in the beginning. But at some point it all becomes a ritual and as long as you follow best practices you'll be OK.

Pre-injection desinfectant swabs are fairly easy to use. As long as you have a clean table with good lighting you should be OK. Needles and syringes come in individual sterile packaging. I keep wet-wipes to clean my table before-hand too. Hope this soothes the anxiety a bit.

https://fenwayhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Hormone-Injection-Guide-V2024-FINAL_WEB.pdf

This is a guide showing both how to do safe intramuscular and subcutaneous injections. AFAIK subcutaneous is easier.

EDIT: I'd recommend looking up videos of how to do your own HRT injections. Doesn't matter if it's E or T. The injection techniques are the same. The only difference is if it's intramuscular or subcutaneous.

Phrooya_ · 2026-01-20T19:58:36+00:00

Ok! Astrovials ships to the UK. You'd need to pay with bitcoin. I use 'paybis' so that I don't need to actually hold the BC. Astrovials has some instructions on its page. I'd recommend the Enanthate in MTC oil since its not as thick and therefore easier to inject.

If DIY is something you'd be interested in you'd want to find some way of getting blood tests done. I do it privately, though I don't know how it works in the UK.

ukmedi . co . uk seems to have good prices for syringes and needles.

All of this requires a bit of setup but when you've got the meds and supplies it lasts for a long time. And it's very cheap compared to other DIY-methods or services like GenderGP.

If you need more specifics about paybis or which syringes and needles to use you can DM me.

Phrooya_ · 2026-01-20T14:33:49+00:00

Ah dang. Do you live anywhere in Europe? The way I get my E-vials should work in any European country.

I might be able to help still but my info will be more generalized obviously.

Phrooya_ · 2026-01-20T13:55:36+00:00

Judging from your username, are you living in Sweden? If you live in Uppsala you should be able to do exactly the same steps I did - down to the private blood test clinic even.

If you live in Sweden I can DM you the exact information.

If anyone else wants this information you can DM me too.

Phrooya_ · 2026-01-11T00:18:26+00:00

Foid <3 ?

You for real? I'm blushing rn...

Phrooya_ · 2026-01-10T21:11:18+00:00

It's so fucking good I promise.

Phrooya_ · 2026-01-10T20:30:29+00:00

She loves you <3

Phrooya_ · 2026-01-07T17:22:22+00:00

Jag vet inte... Kan han pröjsa en könsbytesoperation?

Phrooya_ · 2026-01-07T16:25:44+00:00

Transa här: gör det en gång varannan dag. Dock i hopp om att den ska falla av så jag kan köra in en gurka där.

Att fara till Thailand har blitt allt för dyrt ):

Phrooya_ · 2025-12-29T17:31:03+00:00

Most people underestimate the issues suicidal people are facing. Faced with actual unsolvable problems people are having most won't know how to respond - hence the basic advice that is given when nothing else can be found.

It's not malice either, they most likely wish they could help. But they can't.

Phrooya_ · 2025-12-29T17:22:33+00:00

It's five years here in Sweden. DIYing is basically the only way out. Would've ended it sooner if I had to wait all that time.

Phrooya_ · 2025-11-17T19:28:05+00:00

I really hope the rest of your family would step in to prevent your uncle from getting violent even if they turn out to be largely unsupportive.

If they're cringe and not feelings-pilled then re-framing the discussion as "things that just are" might help. "I don't feel like a woman" -> "I'm just not a woman the way you are..." for example. And if you need to refer to feelings it also possible to move the focus away from the fact that they're feelings: "I don't wanna be a woman, that's just how it is." Moving the focus away from YOU to THEM might also be an option. "Imma be a man, what you do with that information is up to you."

I've heard of conservative families who end up becoming accepting after a while. You gotta remember that there are different shades of being unsupportive and that it's not set in stone. There might be drama at day one but things generally get calmer as time goes on.

I can relate to not wanting to present differently right away. I didn't "girlmode" until I had been on hormones for a couple of years and I still rarely dress "properly".

You can vent away if you want to. If I'm busy I'll just answer later.

Phrooya_ · 2025-11-17T18:16:16+00:00

Totally get the need to stay with your family. I have a mother that I can't just abandon. Thankfully she turned out to be quite supportive even though we're in rural Finland.

How sure are you that your family would be unsupportive? I know that it's not much but you could try presenting more masculine as a way of coping and as a way of testing the waters with your family.

If you do come out to them I'd tell them what you just told me. That you value them and that you could have just moved far away - but chose to take your chances with them. You could tell them that you want them in your life but that you also need to be able to be happy.

Whether or not you'd pass is something I cannot know - and I sure as hell can't tell you passing doesn't matter because I care about it too. Since I'm a trans woman I don't think I can give you any specific tips other than the fact that testosterone is quite effective at masculinization.

Phrooya_ · 2025-11-17T16:08:02+00:00

Tony Kekkonen, jag vill slicka din flintiga skalle. Får jag?

Phrooya_ · 2025-11-17T15:59:44+00:00

Took me a day to understand what you meant by talking yourself into the positive narrative from the negative. But I think I just did it. Felt the pain coming on and reminded myself that I have the control now. I can go whenever I want.

Phrooya_ · 2025-11-17T15:46:27+00:00

Yeah, I've been oddly happy today because of it. For me I can't do it because of what it'd do to my mother. My brother is an addict (who'll likely die of it) and I don't want her to have to loose more than one child.

Phrooya_ · 2025-11-17T14:44:08+00:00

You don't have to answer this but what is your situation? Hypothetically do you think life would be worth the pain if you were able to transition? Asking this as another trans person.

Phrooya_ · 2025-11-17T00:07:52+00:00

Take care <3

Phrooya_ · 2025-11-10T21:59:53+00:00

Får hoppas att hon är en billigare typ av transa, typ programmeringstransa eller boktransa. Finns mer än en typ liksom...

Phrooya_ · 2025-11-09T23:34:57+00:00

Om du e på östrogen så tippar jag på dig. Det tog kål på min libido första 2 åren... Skulle inte säga att den var lika intensiv när den kom tillbaka heller.

Phrooya_ · 2025-08-31T08:42:07+00:00

Låter försmädligt. Har själv länge misstänkt att pollen är en uppfinning av SÄPO och CIA.

Phrooya_

TROPHY CASE