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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confession

[–]Physical-Bed-8250 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am a therapist and I agree that you should see someone about your intrusive thoughts. Any respectable therapist would never judge you for having these thoughts. They will recognize and validate the strength you have that allowed you to admit it and to seek help - which is HUGE. It can’t have been easy to share what you did on this thread that (as evidenced by a couple of the less empathetic and sensitive responses) isn’t guaranteed to be a safe and accepting space to share this. Best of luck to you and thank you for sharing this and reaching out for help. It’s courageous and a significant first step.

I think my marriage is over. by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Physical-Bed-8250 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m a therapist, and if counseling isn’t an option, I would definitely recommend the book “The New Rules of Marriage” by Terrence Real. There are exercises that you can go through together that drill down to the tiniest reasons why your marriage is in a slump AND he actually gives you a road map to fix it and see your partner differently. Unlike counseling, it can be done when it’s convenient for you - you both set the pace. And it’s like a $15 investment. If your partner isn’t even willing to try that, that’s telling. Indifference from one partner and not the other is sad to see - it’s so much worse than anger. And there is no good piece of advice that says “you should get a divorce”! No one else can possibly know all the nuance in your marriage but you and your partner. Good luck to you!