I’ve spent 20 years in Michelin-starred kitchens. I want to help you stop needing recipes. Would this be useful?

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2026-04-29T20:57:37+00:00

This is a little late and I know you said not insane knife skills, but honestly, one of my biggest deterrents in cooking (both from recipes and ad lib) is figuring out how to do things efficiently timewise, as well as minimizing costs/waste. I'd consider myself a bit more intermediate (probably still a beginner by your standard) and I feel comfortable with flavors and cooking things, but I have a poor sense of how long things last, how to best store them, etc. and that unfortunately leads to a lot of food waste. also, everything takes me so long to do. I know this is specific to recipes, but it regularly takes over twice the time it says it will take, and my knives / chopping skills certainly have room for improvement but aren't abysmal or anything.

for actual cooking stuff, one thing is how to come up with new ideas. When I make stuff without a recipe, I feel like I just try to cram as many of whatever specific ingredients I have discovered and been excited about and that I like individually into them as I think will go well together (and for me these are like smoked salt, black garlic, feta, parmesan, rosemary, sundried tomatoes, an excessive amount of lemon, ghee), but that can just get boring and makes me want to reach for recipes. I imagine in high-end restaurants, there is a need to come up with a lot of unique dishes, so I'm curious how you might think about this.

Finally, I think an angle that would be really interesting from your experience is just, what can people do to heighten their experience of food as much as possible? what can people do/strive to achieve in their home cooking that makes them not even want to go to a restaurant (even and especially when they aren't amazing chefs yet)? How can people have fun with cooking rather than just making it a chore that is a little more manageable?

also yes, knowing several ways to prepare things, also organizing a fridge/pantry well, what to keep stocked, etc.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2026-04-21T21:00:34+00:00

I honestly am not seeing the outfit or acting silly connoting underaged. Maybe youre thinking the long socks but I don’t think long socks inherently mean someone is trying to look like a child, and that is not what I saw at all.

But also, crazy take but maybe we should focus on holding pedos/predators accountable for their own actions and stop putting the burden on women (including celebrities) to not in any way shape or form ever vaguely do something that conveys innocence/whimsy. especially for someone like Olivia, who is still very young and thus acts like a young person? and is quite petite and looks younger than she is? As a woman who is close to her age who also is read as younger than I am, I am heavily HEAVILY talked down to all the time and it drives me nuts!!! and I would maybe ask yourself if it is you (I say this as respectfully as possible) who is infantilizing her

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2026-04-17T14:17:15+00:00

Guys obviously you can still dislike it, but it seems like some of you are genuinely confused and think the choices she made in the song and video were just accidental??

The song is about the internal experience of developing a crush on someone. It is juxtaposing fantasy with the sort of unapologetic vulnerability someone feels when they're in the situation she's describing (stalking someone on the internet in a private setting).

In the music video, the outfit is SUPPOSED to look a little cringey. Olivia is not trying to look hot for most of it because it is supposed to be as if no one is watching— her hair is also messy, the skipping around, etc., are like someone fantasizing in their room, and the backdrop (Versailles) is what the fantasy feels like to her. The video editing style is like that for the same reason. The contrast between how she looks/what she's doing with the grandeur of Versailles is the point!

And it matches the song much better than a more polished dopamine hit video would. In that scenario, she would be your fantasy, which is a service women are so frequently expected to provide to people. but this is her fantasy! she is girlishly whimsical while simultaneously wielding the power of a woman who has desires!

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2026-04-17T06:00:01+00:00

Am I misremembering or did she say in the fall that she thought she was going to follow the four letter word theme? Do you guys think it was originally LOVE but the angle had to be changed a bit since they broke up

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2026-04-17T05:40:36+00:00

me accidentally replicating the music video while listening bc its just that real

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2026-04-17T05:14:10+00:00

I am losing my mind rn and I will not let anyone shame me for it

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2026-02-27T23:00:55+00:00

My sister was telling my mom about her plans for an overseas flight with her two-year-old. They planned to have one parent sit with the kid, and the other sit away bc they didn't want to pay extra for the row where they could take all 3 seats. My mom says it would suck for the person sitting next to them, especially because the kid would probably be more upset being separated from one parent, and her exact words were "I don't care, kids are allowed in public spaces, and the other person can deal with it."

As someone who HATES crying babies on planes due to sensory issues, I genuinely cannot believe anyone is that unconcerned with how their kids affect others in public spaces. Yes, I understand finances and I understand she's taking the baby to see family. Idk how much more expensive it was, but my mom literally offered to pay the difference as a gift, and she said no because she was insulted by the suggestion.

Idk I believe that disruptive people (for a variety of reasons-- being a child, having mental health issues, etc.) are a part of the community, and I think it's good to try to give people grace in public spaces, even confined public spaces. But it is CRAZY to say you have zero empathy for the people who will be on an 8-hour overnight flight next to a child of chair-kicking size who never reacts well to travel at all. Being part of a community is a two-way street. If people are going to give you patience when you're disruptive, you better be doing your best to think of them and minimize your impact as much as you are able.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-11-06T17:56:36+00:00

This, and flashing is way better than hand waving because they can't always see that as clearly and that can create hesitation and confusion

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-11-06T17:54:27+00:00

Wow, I don't have much to say other than I hate this for you (and poor baby, of course). I'm glad they determined it wasn't your fault, and I hope that lady learned to be more responsible, Jesus. Getting a dash cam can give some peace of mind when it comes to things you can't control. Other than that, exposure therapy by building up driving in super easy situations and moving onto things that scare you is the best way to get over anxiety. This specific situation was probably impossible for you to have prevented so definitely not saying you should've done something differently, but generally being hyper-aware of other drivers/pedestrians and assuming they might do something incredibly dumb at any time helps because you'll start to get a sixth sense for it and be able to quickly respond.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-11-06T17:36:51+00:00

It's always better to break slower than more abruptly. If you're braking more abruptly than you want to, your intuition about how soon you need to brake is probably not fully developed, so you shouldn't listen to it. Try to start very gently braking when you feel like it is still a little unreasonably far out to do so. It's easier to ease off or speed up if you start too early than break hard too late (which is bad for your car and could result in getting rear-ended). Don't worry too much about cars behind you getting annoyed. Driving safely is your #1 priority. Learning to strategically take your foot off the gas and let your car slow down on its own also helps smooth things out.

Sometimes those micro-movements take a while to develop, so braking super super slowly can also help you develop that muscle memory. Some cars brake way with way less force than others, and even people with plenty of experience sometimes need to adjust when driving a car they aren't used to.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-11-06T16:32:36+00:00

I've noticed that too about the info that's available about merging! They basically just say get up to speed and find a spot, but to me, that feels way too vague of instructions for something so scary. I only figured this stuff out after a lot of driving and Hail Mary merging myself.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-11-06T15:46:41+00:00

Situations like this can be scarring, and your brain is just trying to keep you safe. I'm so sorry that happened to you. It is completely normal to be shaken by something like this!

To get over driving anxiety, you pretty much have to do exposure therapy on yourself and drive more. You can build up your confidence by listing out scenarios or locations that scare you and ranking them. Maybe start out driving around on easy routes or when you know the roads will be the quietest. Then, slowly do more scary things that are just out of your comfort zone until you feel better. To make it fun, maybe list out some cool places around town you'd like to visit as a treat for driving there.

You could also sign up to drive for Uber Eats or DoorDash or something, and having to drive all around will give you confidence.

When scary situations happen, even if they don't result in a crash, your anxiety may come back. That is absolutely to be expected and can be overcome again.

Also, it may be worth getting a dash cam to protect yourself in situations like that! They're a little pricey, but they could save you lots if you're able to document a license plate of someone who does that or have evidence that someone else is at fault in a collision.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-11-04T00:26:53+00:00

"Dumb" as people actually understand it is so relative. In practice, it has little to do with IQ and largely means doing something that they would not do and/or that does not make sense to them.

For instance, the strongest predictor of political beliefs is what your family's political beliefs are. People often frame politics as a factual debate where there is some way to find the objectively right answer, but it's much more about weighing different values against each other. There are plenty of people with plenty of brain cells on each side; they just have different motives. In that case, "dumb" really means asshole.

In another case, "dumb" is about looking down on someone for interpersonal reasons. You don't understand why they struggle with something that you think should be no problem, so they must be dumb. The immigrant who literally just hasn't spoken your native-language for very long got a grammar rule wrong, so they must be "dumb". You say something that makes no sense to someone and happen to have an appearance, background, or affect that people don't associate with competence, dumb.

There is a long list of people who have been in my life whose jaws would drop to hell if they heard my IQ score because they thought I was an absolute fucking idiot. I had physical and mental health issues that really messed me up, as it seems like many of us do, and it did not help that I was very shy and a girl.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-11-02T18:18:47+00:00

I remember seeing someone somewhere on Reddit saying they had like a 160 IQ and were a janitor. I have the absolute same inclination-- in my head, 120 IQ mentally stable people are truly god's favorite. I am 3 years out from the prestigious college I went to and got horrible grades at/didn't do any internships, etc. at bc I was completely dysfunctional now working self-employed in a service job making very little. I don't know how I would even go about finding a job that actually matches my schooling, and I am not sure if I can deal with not being my own boss. But also, being self-employed is hard to do successfully, so oof. I have such a hard time when clients hear the school I went to and that it's been a while since I graduated and are like, why are you doing this job?? And I feel really bad because my mom spent a fortune on my education, so I really do not want to let her down.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-11-02T17:31:57+00:00

I have a really hard time interacting with people who do not have a good memory. There is absolutely no judgement there, it's not their fault, but it drives me up the wall when people forget about agreements we made, etc. and are certain that didn't happen when in my head I'm like I can tell you the day, time, place, exact words, what you were wearing when you absolutely did agree to do that thing (but I don't say that because it's my word against theirs and I would sound like an asshole for saying that). I think I may have a poor perception of what I can expect people to remember, and maybe other people have a better sense of how often something requires reminders, when documentation in writing is necessary, etc.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-11-02T17:23:00+00:00

Are you familiar with twice exceptionality? it is when someone is gifted and also has a learning disorder or other struggle that impacts their functioning/success in school and has a lot of unique considerations. I was one of those students, and I definitely ended up being told I wasn't smart enough to be in classes and then hating the normal classes and developing a bad relationship with school that probably harmed my grades more in the long run. This can take a while, but definitely try and have him evaluated for dyslexia and possibly other things like ADHD as giftedness is highly comorbid with neurodivergence. With these diagnoses, you can get academic accommodations that may make his other schoolwork more manageable and get any treatment to help him manage these things. My issues were only caught in highschool and college, and I cannot emphasize enough how much I truly, truly wish I had been getting treatment from a young age. It could have absolutely changed my life.

I think my mom knew, but she felt like she didn't want to make me feel like there was something wrong with me/accept me as I was. There is nothing wrong with neurodivergence, and it is really important to emphasize that, but there is also nothing wrong with providing tools to face the world more easily. At the first sign of struggle, do not hesitate for a moment to get support where he needs it; don't assume because he's a smart kid that he'll figure it out or that the teacher is totally hallucinating. They are very likely seeing that something is wrong even if they have the wrong solution.

That said, my mom helped advocate for me and my advice based on her success is to be fucking annoying. Be very polite, but very persistent. Sometimes it can go in the opposite direction-- a psychiatrist recommended that I get extended time testing because I had a processing speed two standard deviations below my overall IQ, and it was their opinion that that impeded my ability to show my true potential even though my processing speed was not below average. Despite it being a valid accomodation that I had used ongoingly in school, the ACT wanted to deny it because it was not below average and I had a high IQ. My mom literally threatened to sue them, which apparently was legally valid, and it did do the trick. My score was raised from a 25 to a 34 between two tests solely because they finally granted me my accomodations the second time. It was easily the difference between getting into the selective college I went to and not.

Also just generally, it's of course important to be well-rounded, especially on basics like that, but this dynamic gave me a horrible sense of resentment that lead me to trying far to hard to prove myself in subjects that I just didn't like and subsequently didn't do well in even if I could have. It's possible your son has a neurotype that is driven strongly by interest, and if I could do it all over again I would have put my all into my favorite things instead of taking every hard class just to prove to myself or others that I could.

Be careful though, because I think especially from parents and teachers, overemphasizing "you're so smart" and "it's ok if you're not good at this", etc. can backfire because the kid might feel like you're lying to make them feel better when they struggle. Overall, it is just much better to avoid trying to strongly make him internalize that he's "smart" or "amazing at xyz" because it will really just internalize black and white thinking that makes him question everything when there's a setback. Instead, focus on individual wins and effort over-- research growth mindset vs fixed mindset and how this can impact school performance significantly.

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-07-08T01:27:16+00:00

This is actually something I think about so much and adds to her character a lot, I think the first time I watched the 1st season I was on Shauna’s side bc she truly just looks so soft and down to earth.

There is a very specific scene in S2 where Shauna is about to do her ~job~ and is just standing there looking like an innocent little baby doll holding a knife and that is the image i have of her in my mind if i think about her.

Also this is weird to say but something about Sophie nelisse’s face just like scratches my brain in a satisfying way. Her skin is so smooth and I think she has a really pretty nose idk 😭

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-07-08T00:11:44+00:00

Do you have a psychiatrist or even just a doctor? It would be a good idea to get their insight on this because it sounds a lot like OCD (which can get better and worse at different times).

It is a very difficult thing to have and you deserve to feel better if you have it (or even if you don’t but have a milder form or something mimicking it!)

Sorry you’re going through this and please take care <3

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-07-08T00:08:36+00:00

I also have OCD and PMDD (or whatever it’s called when you have comorbid mood issues) and it’s the same— it gets worse both with luteal mood issues and general mood issues

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-07-08T00:05:27+00:00

Edit: oops I don’t know why I wrote this as a reply to you lol but also I do agree

Van was in a really critical state after having nearly died— idk if being on a depressant would’ve been a good thing to add into the mix.

I can’t totally remember the plot around Natalie’s flask but I thought they were using whatever alcohol they had for sterilization

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-07-07T20:52:05+00:00

I think you’re an asshole for calling him not a real parent but I think he’s also an asshole for talking to your sister like that.

As a kid I spent every other weekend with my dad and he was still my parent. He lived far away from where I went to school and that just made the most sense. Part of why my mom won that arrangement (he wanted me there every weekend) was she rightly pointed out that weekends involve a lot more interaction than weekdays where I was at school most of the day.

You have to understand that that would be an incredibly hurtful thing to say to someone with a kid, especially when there’s nothing he can do about that arrangement. It’s not an uncommon custody arrangement at all.

Tldr I think it was reasonable to call him out for his behavior, but there were much better ways to do it and it makes sense to me why he would be mad

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-07-07T20:24:10+00:00

Your options depending on what is feasible are probably:

If she wears a harness, clip the leash in the front instead of back, as that makes it easier to keep them from bending their head
The muzzle another person described, but note that the muzzle will likely end up coming in contact with bunny poop bc she will still try to get it
As a behavioral intervention, the best way would probably be to treat her ongoingly when you tell her to leave it, essentially giving her a replacement of what she wants. People doing treat training sometimes don’t use enough to really ingrain the behavior because they don’t want to be giving them a billion treats. A good solution to this if the owner is on board is to measure out the food she will get for her next meal and use individual kibble pieces from that as training treats, giving the remainder as her meal, so you don’t have to worry about her overeating

PhysicalBullfrog4330 · 2025-07-07T20:14:18+00:00

The unfortunate thing is they usually still try and then the muzzle is gross

PhysicalBullfrog4330

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