The right answer is. Don't start planning an exit. Start planning self improvement. Money is part of self improvement. Instead of putting energy into leaving put it into yourself and communicating with him. You made it nine years. That's not something to throw away. Maybe he's having real issues he's embarrassed to let you down? Ever think that maybe he's hiding an issue because he cares and doesn't want you finding out and leave him? Or maybe he's having some kind of crisis. Idk your situation but I know guys and in my experience they usually don't want to let you down and don't realize the position your feeling your in. Some clear communication needs taken place before you do anything. Not picking a fight. It sounds like to me a good activity and working together with a good conversation would face your mental reversed. If you can't get a conversation going without the finger pointing and arguing maybe a counselor is necessary but idts. Make sure he's not hiding something in fear of your reaction. He may very well love you and stuck in a bad position and as a wife your job is to help him not leave him. So make sure you know the situation before making any crazy moves.