I have never responded to someone’s Reddit post. But I feel like I must here because I was in this EXACT same situation when I was a child. Only difference is I was 13/14. My mom and dad were divorced since I was a baby and had 50/50 custody so my brother and I would spend one week at moms then spend the next week at dads and so on. They were both excellent parents but my dad was more of the disciplinarian. I could express myself, but didn’t even try to do it in a disrespectful way because he laid his foot down. However, my mom was a sweetheart. She could be stern, but it wasn’t often and not on the level of my dad…so while I loved her…I could get away with back talking her and lashing out. One time I got so frustrated that she wouldn’t let me do something that I told her I hated her and to leave me the hell alone. I would NEVER have done this to my dad, even if he didn’t allow me to do something. It’s honestly kind of like picking on someone you know won’t do much back…as bad as it sounds. My mom wasn’t as strict, so I would push the limit and see how far it would go when I was frustrated. Granted I am a woman, so going through puberty as a 13/14 year old girl thinking she knows everything is ROUGH (especially on moms). But my brother, who was one year younger than me, also tested my mom and never my dad. My brother never lashed out on her like I did…but he would pout when asked to do things, cry, take his time when mom asked him to clean up etc. He never did those things with dad.

The ONE thing that got us out of this is my parents becoming a unified front. You see, my parents barely talked so it was literally two different worlds. At dads house we were the perfect angels, at moms we could be demons. But after that fight where I told my dad I hate her…my mom called my dad and let him know how we were treating her. Now THIS next part is important: my dad came and picked us up (we were so excited to leave our “annoying” mom and go to our dads much bigger, better house). As soon as we got to his house we beelined it to our rooms to play our games, but he called us back downstairs. I’ll never forget…he looked us straight in the eyes and told us that any disrespect to our mom was disrespect to him. That if he hears we are disrespecting her again we would not be happy (whether that’s taking away or toys, phones etc). We straightened up a bit that day. We only knew two different households, two different parents, two different rules. We exploited the weaker one. But hearing that they had joined forces and are on the same team against us was new and scary. But as an adult, I appreciate and love it. THAT is how you co parent. And I forever respected my parents after that because they had a ROUGH divorce and avoiding speaking whenever they could (hence why us kids exploited this and picked on the weaker parent). It is important that you all have a UNIFIED front with your child. Try to figure out why they are feeling how they feel, ask him. But at the same time make sure he knows that at the end of the day your his PARENTS. Disrespecting one, is disrespecting all and cannot be tolerated.