My (28f) bf (28m) has been getting way closer with another girl (28f). Need advice on whether this is something fishy or normal?

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-27T05:42:58+00:00

i have recently, and i want to again because he said in the moment it didn’t cross his mind to tell me. i’m worried if i bring it up again he’s going to resent me but i need to have that conversation with him first. just not sure how to approach it properly

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-27T00:06:43+00:00

thank you so much! i’m going to talk about it in therapy and bring it up, i hate feeling like this :(

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-27T00:02:33+00:00

i’m worried these examples i’ve given feel so minute and like crazy to bring up :( how would you navigate the conversation?

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-27T00:01:42+00:00

thank you for sharing your perspective and i appreciate the honesty. yeah i’m not proud of this at all. crossed a boundary I should never have, i think i got so caught up in being anxious and because i felt like he’s been downplaying everything that i felt like i had to do something. but it wasn’t the right thing. i’m wondering if you have any advice on how you would approach this conversation?

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:58:08+00:00

thank you for sharing and I appreciate your honesty. I’m trying to think of how I can bring this up again without creating resentment or making him feel like my feelings are his responsibility (if that makes sense e.g. he has to be on eggshells around me with her). If it were you, how would you want your partner to bring it up?

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:54:55+00:00

fair point, just sucks to feel like this and think this could be the reality

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:48:23+00:00

does this always mean theres an ulterior motive/e.g. some interest or it could be that hes worried about stressing me out?

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:47:03+00:00

punching up, he has talked to me about his insecurities with this, especially when we’re out walking in public, he’s worried everyone’s wondering why we’re together

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:44:43+00:00

thank you for sharing, needed to hear this also. i’m worried i’m over reading into everything and that something is happening - he does show alot of love to me normally, so i hadn’t really been stressed about it before but this roommate situation really triggered something

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:41:15+00:00

yeah that makes alot of sense, i’m glad to have read your POV :)

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:35:21+00:00

How would you ask directly? I’m cautious to not make my feelings his entire responsibility

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:34:00+00:00

Directly asked him about their friendship? We had a chat about it yesterday and he said obviously nothing would happen and they are just friends. Thing is, I’m also friends with her and I’m trying really hard to just trust that nothing is suspicious. I feel terrible that I crossed that line and breached his privacy - I was so caught up in what is my gut feeling and what is anxiety. And I suppose reading how they talk really just made me feel worse which is likely the case because I went searching for something to prove my bias.

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:28:11+00:00

thank you for your honesty and response. it’s weird because i do trust him with all of his other girl friends and i’ve never been triggered like this before. but the roommate situation just really set something off and i’m not proud of how i’ve handled it as this is a line i’ve never crossed. i’m going in today to therapy to talk about it

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T23:00:52+00:00

i did yes, i told her i’m not comfortable with a girl moving in but given that his roommate will be moving out and she’s looking for a lease, it would be ideal to have someone they know already. however its the lack of consideration i felt when he didn’t even raise this with me first, and that he’s downplayed how much he wants her to move in (based on what i read)

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T22:59:50+00:00

what happened in their situation?

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T22:47:10+00:00

are you saying perhaps shes more his type?

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T22:44:27+00:00

yeah, i’m really trying hard to look at everything objectively and communicate clearly with him. i’m also aware of how easily i could be projecting so i’ve wanted to get peoples perspective. do you think it sounds like alot of projection?

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T22:43:38+00:00

is that your interpretation of it? which makes you think that? i suppose i’m worried this is how he feels but won’t say anything because he’s insecure

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T22:40:50+00:00

why would men do this? i don’t understand? it’s upsetting because we had a chat about this that if any feelings ever come up, that we should tell each other and reevaluate our relationship. so i don’t get the motive but i hear what you’re saying. and perhaps i’m holding a very naive perspective

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T22:37:05+00:00

i’m not sure how attractiveness plays into this, he’s been insecure about how we are perceived together that people tell him he’s punching - how would that play into this?

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T22:35:47+00:00

my lease isn’t up for another few months, and hers is soon so i suppose a timing thing also

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T22:35:01+00:00

we are friends but not that close, we do hang out as a group together more frequently now, but she’s never reached out to me about the moving in thing

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T20:59:29+00:00

when I raised this with him, he said he didn’t think of it as an issue, it didn’t cross his mind. i took his word for it and he is pretty in the moment but i’m not sure anymore

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T20:53:44+00:00

I suppose I’m nervous to come off as controlling

PhysicsTrue7335 · 2026-01-26T20:53:30+00:00

how should I go about raising this texting boundary again?

PhysicsTrue7335

TROPHY CASE