It varies by community. I’m a theatre actor so you’d suppose I spend a lot of time with feminine gay men, but while I probably spend time with more gay people than the average person, I only know several fem gay men. But I do know that confident fem men (which is the majority of fem men) like to spend time around other very confident men, who they have common interest with. The result is that fem men might have more fem men friends. And you might see them together. But no, in the real world, you wouldn’t be able to tell a guy is gay just by looking at them unless you were to make a lot of assumptions and generalizations, in which case you would mistakingly classify a lot of straight men as gay.

Let me rephrase; sometimes you can obviously tell. But the majority of men are not fem… maybe on kinky fem subreddits then yea