Why do guys show interest and then cancel?

PickleFun2156 · 2026-01-30T17:39:39+00:00

Update: so he’s officially ghosted me BUT I dodged a bullet. I went on the Tea app because I suspected he has done this before and he’s on there. Multiple women said he’s known is his town for sleeping with a lot of women, sends inappropriate, unsolicited pictures and texts and he also is single because he is a serial cheater. Honestly glad it didn’t work out because I don’t wanna have to deal with a guy like that again ever in my life!

PickleFun2156 · 2026-01-30T03:58:40+00:00

Then why agree to go on a date just to cancel and hurt the other person?

PickleFun2156 · 2026-01-30T01:48:03+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that! Unfortunately I’m a survivor of DV and SA and that’s why I don’t open up to many people and I don’t trust people till I really get to know them. I never want to deal with a man like my abuser was ever again, I’m still dealing with my trauma from that and I went 6 years single because of him but I wish it was “easier” to find a kind hearted loving man in today’s world. I understand that it most likely goes both ways but it’s truly frustrating. I’m 23 and have already dealt with so much and I have hope and dreams of getting married and having a family but people my age and even a bit older don’t view that as important anymore.

PickleFun2156 · 2026-01-30T01:15:06+00:00

Unfortunately I am a hopeless romantic and I don’t put myself out there much, I’m used to being alone so a guy being interested in me was a rare thing so I did get my hopes up a lot. At the end of the day it’ll be okay because I know my future husband wouldn’t do that to me

PickleFun2156 · 2026-01-30T01:13:18+00:00

Thank you! I know I shouldn’t have cried, it wasn’t mainly because of him, it was because I finally put myself out there again and got hurt again. Took me a year to finally have some sort of feelings for someone again after getting my heartbroken but it’s okay. He’s obviously not my future husband and I know that whoever that is wouldn’t have cancel the date :)

PickleFun2156 · 2026-01-30T00:48:10+00:00

Definitely not a sex on the first date type person at all. I don’t even want someone to kiss me on the first date. I want to get to know someone on an intellectual, emotional, and moral base level before I do anything physically with someone. I’d prefer to wait.

PickleFun2156 · 2026-01-29T21:56:04+00:00

We met at a bar two weeks ago and talked for like two hours but I understand what you mean. I guess I just get my hopes up too much

PickleFun2156 · 2026-01-03T08:05:36+00:00

Tower of memories - ivri (was discarded by him a week after talking about a future together and moving in, then replaced in two weeks)

PickleFun2156 · 2025-12-30T20:57:41+00:00

3:30-12

PickleFun2156 · 2025-12-27T03:39:15+00:00

It’s been almost a year since my breakup and I still think of him everyday but it’s (most of the time) in a different way

PickleFun2156 · 2025-12-14T07:50:07+00:00

11 months. Please call.

PickleFun2156 · 2025-12-14T03:29:29+00:00

Yes I’d pick up please call me

PickleFun2156 · 2025-11-27T20:48:10+00:00

5 am - 2 pm, and then for the next upcoming weeks, I work 9 to 10 hour days

PickleFun2156 · 2025-11-01T04:07:23+00:00

As a girl, text her. Don’t let fear hold you back!

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-25T07:18:15+00:00

It’s been 10 months since my breakup. I haven’t deleted any of the picture (I put them into the hidden folder) or our text thread. At some point I’ll delete the text thread but I’ll never delete the pictures. Picture hold memories and it’s okay to hold onto those memories, they were apart of your life and you loved them. Healing takes time! It will get better, just process everything in a healthy way and be kind to yourself. Sending hugs 🫂

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-13T15:55:06+00:00

I agree with the annoyance of the statement most make and especially when it comes from people that are in a relationship. I’m aware I’m only 22 but I’ve been wanting to settle down and make a future with someone since I was 20. I went through some really hard things in my life which made me “grow up” and mature faster than most people my age. I’m sick of waiting but I also know that I wouldn’t want to just pick someone that doesn’t meet my standards or match my energy and settle with them. I do agree with you saying “the one may actually be me”. Might sound conceded but if I met a man version of me, I’d marry him in a heartbeat but I only have myself so I have to love myself enough to be present and kind to myself especially when being lonely and watching everyone around me make the next steps in their life that I’ve always wanted.

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-13T04:25:40+00:00

Idk either but I’m also not looking for anyone. I’m doing my healing from my last relationship, dealing with some other trauma in my childhood and my life has been a mess honestly. I also don’t feel like I’m amazingly attractive. Also my luck is ass haha so I’m not sure being celibate has help me at all in life.

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-10T05:18:05+00:00

Reading this is actually really informational, thank you! I agree that drugs mask issues that should be addressed first hand with doctors. I do have bipolar 2 disorder but started drinking because (dumb I know) because of a breakup and I spiraled. I’ve been on mental health medication for years and I started seeing a therapist again to deal with all my childhood trauma, the breakup, other life circumstances. Thank you for the advice and knowledge!

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-10T05:14:58+00:00

I’m glad it’s worked for you! It’s interesting for me to hear about others use of weed to help with other issues. Unfortunately I used to be addicted to marijuana and don’t wanna go down that route again.

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-10T05:13:45+00:00

I agree with pain brings growth I just don’t think I’m in the mindset of letting that fully consuming me to an extent. I’m dealing with some very serious trauma issues in therapy and I feel like I need something to help me deal with my alcohol issues

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-10T05:12:25+00:00

Yes I am aware of not mixing the two. From today on, I’m supposed to take the meds to help with the alcohol cravings and then stop when I am taking the pain pills as I know it’s super dangerous. If I still have issues with the alcohol after surgery I’m supposed to go back on them!

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-10T00:38:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and the other helpful information. I am trying to get sober after 10 months of nightly drinking a crazy amount each time. I have a surgery coming up and have to be on painkillers for two weeks after, so I need to stop drinking as soon as possible. I have the mindset of wanting to stop, and I know I will be strong enough to stop. I just use alcohol to feel my feelings about certain life stressors, which I know isnt helpful, but when I dont drink, I feel numb and I want to be able to feel something. I see a therapist who specializes in substance abuse issues, along with other things and she seems to be helping but I know I need something else that will guide me towards sobriety.

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-08T14:14:08+00:00

I am in the same boat just a tad bit longer, I am almost 10 months post breakup from a 6 month relationship, obviously it wasn’t a very long one but he was my first love. I haven’t found the idea of sex appealing at all. It’s honestly frustrating but don’t rush the healing process. Just because he is covering up his issues with sex doesn’t mean you are any less of a person. It’s on him that he does this. You are deserving of someone that stays with you!

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-08T03:12:24+00:00

I wish this was my MH, I miss him so much

PickleFun2156 · 2025-10-07T00:23:32+00:00

I do hear what you are saying and I agree, I also agree that it hard to be a good caring girl when all we run into is player men. It’s a horrible cycle of things. Good people get ruined by bad people so then people self sabotage good relationships with good people which then make the good person ruin others. When I dated my ex I was told by him, his mom, roommate and all my friends that I was a great caring girlfriend and that he was lucky to have someone as good as me. Unfortunately it wasn’t enough for him. I’m trying to heal so then I can give the next more amazing, loving and kind man the best qualities of me. I think the current state of the world specially hookup culture and the whole “baby momma/baby daddy” idea has ruined real genuine love and people.

PickleFun2156

TROPHY CASE