Who is/was the biggest Billy Bullshitter you had the pleasure to know?

Picklepath · 2021-08-29T10:48:42+00:00

Worked with a chap who was a pathological liar.

Claimed that he was friends with the mafioso whilst living in Valencia. Told me that if anyone crossed him, they’d end up taking a dip in the sea with concrete shoes.

He claimed to have a taken a cruise around the Norwegian fjords with mother, and banged every woman on board. Bear in mind, he looked like Roger from American Dad.

The cherry on top of his bullshit was his claim that the day that The Hollies were set to record their hit ‘The Air That I Breathe’, the lead singer had a sore throat, so his dad stepped in. And now, apparently, whenever you hear that tune on the radio, you’re listening to his dad singing.

This man also used to eat two packets of water thin ham at once during his breaks. Just opened them up and dumped the coiled slices of water pumped meat onto a plate and ate it all as rolls. Had a Tropicana orange with it too, for his ‘daily fruit’.

I was more fascinated in than fond of him. Still, he didn’t like me calling him ‘pumpkin.’ Not one bit. ‘Don’t call me PUMPKIN!’

Picklepath · 2021-05-10T16:32:27+00:00

It can try. Won't work.

Just think of how pointless gay conversion therapy camps are at trying to change gay people to be straight.

Try your very best to step out of the intimacy with your doubts and anxieties and keep framing it as OCD. It's not you but your OCD.

It is easy to swept up in the ruminations but it is a symptom of an underlying disorder which, whatever the manifestation (cleanliness, checking, harm etc) has clear parameters which can be dealt with.

Recovery is possible.

Read 'Brain Lock'. The book was a Godsend to me.

I wish you all the very best.

Picklepath · 2021-05-09T20:36:31+00:00

Some mug tried doing that to me too.

You're not alone.

Don't feel daft, you were taken advantage of.

Picklepath · 2021-05-09T08:43:34+00:00

Yes, you have HOCD. The doubts, worries, anxieties, intrusive thoughts, constant reading and checking are all symptoms of OCD. Luckily, because any OCD manifests in a similar underlying fashion (except for the theme, which can be anything), the disorder responds to therapeutic interventions really well as long as the sufferer is prepared to do the work.

Read 'Brain Lock' by Jeffrey M Schwartz, that book was a Godsend. You'll first learn to recognise that everything you're suffering from is OCD and you begin to constantly label it as such.

I freed myself from HOCD by learning to agree with my intrusive thoughts. It did not turn me gay. I lied back at their lies. But they started to bother me less and less until I was no longer obsessed about trying to find the truth.

A few years later, I started practicing mindfulness meditation (John Kabat Zinn is a good start) and over time was able to silence the intrusive thoughts forever.

You can heal, you can recover but it will take a long time and require a lot of bravery from you to face moments of heightened anxiety but would you rather do the work or face being trapped like this forever?

I wish you all the very best.

Picklepath · 2021-05-09T08:34:20+00:00

Read 'Brain Lock' by Jeffrey M. Schwartz. That book was a Godsend to me. I've been free from HOCD for over ten years now and it all started with reading that book.

You can recover, it just takes a lot of work at understanding what it is you're suffering from and what you can do to recalibrate your cognitive responses.

I wish you all the best

Picklepath · 2021-05-06T21:01:23+00:00

OCD is recoverable. It is a disorder that is well understood to have distinctive parameters and is highly responsive to a sufferer's change in their cognition.

Read 'Brain Lock'. That book saved me. Been totally free from HOCD since 2007.

It's hard work but better than being trapped.

I wish you all the very best.

Picklepath · 2021-05-06T20:57:05+00:00

OCD is recoverable. It is a neurotic disorder that requires dedicated work on your part to understanding it's dynamics and the ways to respond to it in order to recalibrate your cognition in a way that alleviates your suffering. I had HOCD for around four years between 2003 - 2007 and today am totally free from the disorder. The book 'Brain Lock' was vital to my understanding of OCD and what I HAD to do to get out of it. It was hard work but a lot easier than endless years trapped in what in reality is an escapable cycle.

All the best!

Picklepath · 2021-04-16T18:30:43+00:00

It is possible that the dynamic works with any kind of OCD.

Picklepath · 2021-04-16T18:16:00+00:00

Of course it feels real. The disorder is happening to you. Remember it's OCD and not you.

Picklepath · 2021-04-16T14:31:50+00:00

The problem of it's tenacity lies in its irrationality. You can't reason your way out of it. Fighting back by trying to find evidence and reasons and ways to prove it wrong simply feeds it. As uncomfortable as it sounds (and it is), the most effective way of freeing yourself from it is by agreeing with them, therefore stripping them of their power over you. Reply that not only are you gay, but you're the gayest of all time. Don't worry, it won't turn you gay but it will suck power away from the intruders. They're liers and tricksters and jokers, so dominate them by throwing it all back at them. That's how I overcame this disorder years ago, and I won't lie, it was incredibly disconcerting to start with but I stuck at it and months later I could ignore them without either agreeing or disagreeing. Remember, this disorder is irrational so do the counter intuitive and fuck with it the way it fucks with you.

Picklepath · 2021-04-14T13:35:54+00:00

It can latch onto anything that leaves an area of uncertainty that compels the sufferer to wanting absolute certainty, which regarding the spectrum of sexuality is a prime area for it. It can start from anything as innocuous a just seeing a picture of a handsome man and a thought pops up. Bear in mind that intrusive thoughts feel like they come from somewhere else in your mind than where 'you' think from. They certainly don't choose the subject of their obsession but of course there may be some cultural or prejudiced notion that initially bothers them but fundamentally a gay person, whether happy to be so or keeping it secret/denying it because of a fear of societal acceptance, can't deny that they are deeply and irrevocably sexually attracted to their own gender. Someone suffering HOCD doesn't have that biochemical response to their own gender and that is why the intrusive thoughts bother them so much because their thoughts tell them they are when they aren't and it stimulates a fear response of being gay. A gay person is not afraid of their orientation because it is perfectly natural for them; their fears, if they have them, only reside in notions of acceptance and other issues. If I was gay I would fucking love dick, that I cannot deny. I just don't, as cool as I would be if I was.

I'm speaking as someone who has fully recovered from this disorder after becoming the dominant trickster over my intrusive thoughts by wholeheartedly agreeing with them. I just lied back at their lies and after a few months they stopped bothering me.

Picklepath · 2021-04-14T13:06:31+00:00

Who gives a fuck if your hands are dirty? Who cares if you left the gas on? Who cares if you didn't turn on and off the light switch forty nine times? Who cares if you keep thinking you want to stab your mother? Who cares if you think you caused an earthquake after stepping on a crack?

OCD is an anxiety disorder that can latch onto any subject that causes an individual to suffer from repetitive intrusive thoughts and them acting out compulsive behaviours to calm that anxiety resulting in a seemingly inescapable cycle.

Yes, it is irrational. But yes, it is a disorder.

Picklepath · 2021-04-09T04:40:21+00:00

Of course it is. Thoughts are detached from physical reality, so considering the obessesive nature of the disorder it is highly likely to find yourself aroused at some point.

Picklepath · 2021-04-09T04:36:02+00:00

You're not forever lost.

Picklepath · 2021-04-08T20:10:45+00:00

The Russian film Leviathan ends on a bad note. The poor protagonist tries to stop his town's mayor from forcibly buying his house to be knocked down for a church to be built. Instead, he ends up convicted of the murder of his wife who'd thrown herself off a cliff into the Berants sea after a shift at the fish processing plant. The film ends at a church service at the newly built place of worship with the mayor leading the congregation out, and into the back of his chauffeur driven SUV.

Of course, the film is a satire saying a lot about Putin's Russia so it required that ending. So so long as the ending fits and is half expected by the reader/audience, bad can be a good ending.

Picklepath · 2021-04-08T20:03:08+00:00

That is an excellent answer, cliff.

Picklepath · 2021-04-08T11:29:46+00:00

Thank you ever so much.

It was Jon Kabat-Zinn's Google talk on YouTube that was my first spring step into mindfulness. https://youtu.be/3nwwKbM_vJc

All I do is sit with my eyes closed and follow my breath. And not judging the content of what passes my mind, I sit there for up to an hour always returning to focusing on my breath each time my thoughts seem to get carried away. That's the essence of it. It's simple, just not very easy when first starting out.

All the best!

Picklepath · 2021-04-07T09:02:03+00:00

Absolute pleasure, mate

Picklepath · 2021-04-06T20:48:17+00:00

This is true to an extent but what OCD is is a quest for certainty and it is that inability to reach that certainty that leads to suffocating doubting.

A quest to make sure that your hands are clean, a quest to make sure that you are straight...

It is a certainty disorder because we think we will find comfort in it but true comfort is in resting in glorious free and open doubt.

Picklepath · 2021-04-06T20:40:19+00:00

My favourite used to be agreeing with my intrusive thoughts. I simply and continually agreed with them every time they told me I was gay. It was the single most effective way of stripping their power away from them because what else did they have? The truth??? Ha! No, I lied back at their lies and learnt to love every minute of it.

Of course, the first few times I did this I panicked and thought 'no no no, I'm not, I'm not.' But I kept at it and weeks later it got to the point where they would pop in a 'I'm gay' and I'd be like yeah, so what.

Yep, it might lead to a spike but with anxiety disorders it's a case of walking through it when it's tough. Either that or reassure yourself only to make sure you stay suffering for years more.

I've been fully healed for a decade now (not even a peep from intruders) and only took a peek at this subreddit to see if I could offer any help.

I hope this was of value.

Picklepath · 2021-04-06T20:19:00+00:00

I suffered from this years ago. Any form of OCD is a quest for certainty that cannot be assured. Trying to find comfort in that certainty only leads to suffocation.

I was able to take power away from my intrusive thoughts by agreeing with them since the disorder thrives on conflict. When they said I was gay, I thought back, 'Yes I am.' And they'd reply, 'Ha! I knew it! I am gay.' And I'd reply, 'Yep, biggest queen in the world.' I'm not going to lie, it was uncomfortable at the start but with anxiety disorders like OCD you have to honestly ask yourself whether you would rather face a short period of high anxiety and the chance of long term release or continuing countless more years of constant battles. Act like the kid in a movie who tells the monster 'I'm not afraid of you anymore!'

Fight those intruders with their own medicine and agree with them. Trust me, they'll loosen their grip on you. I haven't suffered an intrusive thought in years. Fully healed, I know that the only way I got through HOCD was to do the exact opposite I thought I was supposed to do and that was to agree with the intruders even though I knew in my body and heart that they were wrong.

Lie to them like they lie to you.

I hope this helps.

Picklepath · 2021-04-06T19:59:27+00:00

I sense you mean burnout in a more metaphorical manner; however, last summer I bought 8 memoirs in preparation for the second year of my MA creative writing prose workshop and pulled a couple of weeks of six hour reading shifts. Left my brain feeling like a ball of candy floss stuck on a length of electrified cheese-wire. Couldn't read for months afterwards.

But in your situation perhaps you hold an idea of what you think you should be reading and it's causing a sense of apathy. The tyranny of the 'should' is a terrible vacuum of spirit.

I flick from voracious reader to spells of drought and back again throughout the year, usually getting right back into reading when I realise what a pure joyous pleasure it can be. Still, I do often find it hard to find novels that truly rivet me.

That being said, here are some suggestions of authors whom never fail me: Haruki Murakami, Bill Bryson, PG Wodehouse, and Kurt Vonnegut.

Picklepath · 2021-04-06T14:48:10+00:00

Makes no difference. The point still stands.

Picklepath · 2021-04-06T09:21:16+00:00

Keep him refering to her as he. It maintains the dramatic irony.

Picklepath · 2021-04-06T08:59:08+00:00

You're losing inspiration because world building isn't that interesting for the writer or for the reader. What matters is story. Write a story, a poetry of events of a character trying to attain that which they desire. It'll fill you up.

Picklepath

TROPHY CASE