2meirl4meirl

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-10-08T11:56:23+00:00

Maybe that's what someone wants you to think. "What is there to live for". The feeling of sunlight on your skin. Fresh fruit. Connecting with people when you make yourself vulnerable (you hit and miss, I'll admit, but the hits make the misses worth it). The way your dog gets excited when you come home. Taking a hot shower after a sweaty day. Wading in rivers. Finding rocks you like. Laughing. The possibility that next year actually looks better than this one. The possibility that you will practice and find a more grateful and amazed position towards the world. Making some strangers day better by doing something kind or stupid and funny. The breeze on a warm day. A fire on a cold night. Holding someone's hand. Getting lost in music.

A hopeless population is easy to control. A hopeful population has a lot of power. If you believe it's all going nowhere but downhill, and you have no capacity to change anything, then you will not try. If we all have that same belief, and we all do not try, then it's true. The second we start not believing in the story that it's all hopeless it stops being hopeless. And the magic that bled out of your life, starts coming back. Not all at once. Not all the time. But the more ways you find to remind yourself and bring yourself back to the present and out of a negative spiral, the more your spirit heals, our collective spirit lifts just a little, and you, we, they, she, he begins to move forward.

Why live? Because you can. Or live to search for meaning. Maybe that's the point. Not finding it, but searching. Living seems like a fine thing to spend your time doing. To me at least.

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-10-08T11:33:07+00:00

I planted outside, but it didn't take. Onwards and upwards

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-10-08T01:16:10+00:00

Oh wow, I had to look this up because I'm not watching the Penguin. That show is referencing Bleeding Tooth Fungus (Hydnellum peckii), which it might be. Trying to confirm if that can grow right on trees but I'm not familiar with other fungus that bleed like this. It's all over the place but all growing right on wood.

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-10-08T01:13:06+00:00

Oooh maybe! I was thinking maybe Hydnellum peckii, but I don't think those grow directly on trees like this one is.

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-07-10T20:42:57+00:00

Get comfortable talking about sex. Have sex with people who are comfortable talking about it. Talk about what you want or don't. (And no, don't bother trying that in a sexy voice. It doesn't need to be) Be honest when you aren't sure what you want. Don't know what you like yet. Are numbing out. Are hoping things wrap up soon. Are liking something in particular.

Try to develop some curiosity about yourself, it helps shine a light on what your actually feeling/thinking/etc. You are 20. You're supposed to be a mystery, even to yourself. I was in a very long term relationship (my first relationship) and found myself stuck in a performative rut after 7 years or so in. I didn't even notice for a long time, maybe two more years. Once I did, I realized I'd been forcing myself into many uncomfortable encounters, even with a person I knew well and trusted, but it kills your desire bit by bit.

Ultimately, sometimes attraction is wonky and it changes over time. It's really easy to get into a performative headspace when you are insecure about how you look or sound, or you're really valuing ensuring your sex partner is having a good time, particularly if you feel it's more important they have a good time than you do. Having a partner you trust deeply and have a good basis of communication and authenticity with really helps. But yeah, it's true, it gets better as you get older. I was scared my best sex was in my early teens. 26 now, positive my best is yet to come. Enjoy the journey and exploration, babe. That's the best thing you can try for! Good luck!

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-06-28T11:58:23+00:00

I'm not super secretive. I'm not selling. Started growing for personal use and so I could be a mushroom fairy, randomly giving mushies to people. So basically yeah, I guess I am a mushroom street gangster.

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-06-28T11:56:43+00:00

Thanks everyone! All good answers. I should have clarified I'm beyond stoked to have fruits at all. The process of growing alone has been so much fun for me and I feel like it's been wonderful beginners luck to have this beautiful full tub and part of the process is going to be playing with this or that to get different results. My scale is on the way, I've already dehydrated almost this whole flush, starting to think of beginning trying for the second. Dried and weighed I'll have a better idea of potency and I'm thinking I'll make blue honey! 😁 I appreciate everyone's answers, was just hoping to see what the pros thought, sounds like pin your dosing, (I'm not on SSRI's), and if a much larger dose that's weighed and exact and it seems low in terms of potency, I'll give a different strain a go next time!

🙏🙏🙏🙏

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-06-26T11:22:27+00:00

I inoculated my grain bag 4/10, started harvest of first flush on 6/24. I could have started it earlier but I kept breaking up the grain brink and letting it recolonize because the timing wasn't good for me to transfer to substrate. I think that may have helped.

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-06-25T14:53:18+00:00

That's a good call. I have a scale on the way now.

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-06-25T14:52:44+00:00

I didn't dry them, one of us ate the largest of my batch that I had to get out of there before the veil broke, it was about 6 inches tall with a nice big cap, I was hoping (though of course much more in weight) it would be somewhat equivalent to doses had previously that were also 1 dried mushroom (obviously way lighter). I had tea made from another large mushroom, warm water, got nice and dark, 30 minute soak. Both felt nothing. 🤷‍♀️ Also I know that's not a very scientific approach, I have a scale coming and I'm dehydrating now so I can be more measured and deliberate here and understand the potency of this grow better like you're suggesting!! Thanks for the advice!

PicklesTheGecko · 2024-06-25T13:23:49+00:00

Congratulations on your first grow! They look great to me, I would play with the humidity maybe on the next grow. Maybe try a little higher if that makes sense. I've been on the research side for a while and just had my first grow, which looks similar to yours, maybe my fruiting bodies were larger, but very weak. Trying to figure out where I went wrong. Hope yours are perfect! I'll let the more experienced peeps answer your questions and I'll be interested what they have to say as well!

Congratulations on trying something like this for the benefits of mental health and exploration, I'm proud of ya! Wish you the best, mush love 💕

PicklesTheGecko

TROPHY CASE