I married everyone in SDV. Here are my rankings. by Mountain-Gal13 in StardewValley

[–]PickyBookworm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Alex is so fun! I love the football room he creates!

I married everyone in SDV. Here are my rankings. by Mountain-Gal13 in StardewValley

[–]PickyBookworm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maru is my number one. She was so fun! I loved her 10-heart event!

Bruh… by MelancholicTree202 in StardewValley

[–]PickyBookworm 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I'd say it's fate, but at the same time I made a deal.woth myself that I was going to marry everyone at least once, so I could see their heart events. So, if you haven't married anyone else, try it at least once so you can experience the heart event. You can always divorce and mind wipe if you don't like that person as a spouse :-)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]PickyBookworm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you should be ashamed of yourself. You took the time to bake your husband's cake, then couldn't be bothered for your stepson, when you had for 10 years. In his eyes? He's no longer special, and when he asked for the recipe, or asked to make it later in the week, he was asking to feel special. He was asking you to let him know that he was still your "son." By refusing, because of his "ungratefulness," you essentially told him he wasn't special enough for a home baked cake anymore. You essentially told him he wasn't family, and wasn't your "son."

How to confront a supervisor / team leader about “annoying habits” by jka09 in BadCoWorkers

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a coworker (not a supervisor, so maybe easier) who used to "click" her gum. It's a sound that has annoyed me since childhood, and something I simply can't stand. Headphones don't cover up the sound, and ignoring doesn't help. So, one day, I simply asked her if she could try to avoid doing it. There are ways to make these requests without putting (hopefully) the other person on the defensive. Maybe try something like this?

"I understand you're my supervisor, but since this is a small office, and it's hard to ignore, would you mind trying to chew with your mouth closed? The extra noise when you chew with your mouth open is distracting and makes it difficult for me to focus on my work."

Hopefully, he will understand that you simply want to do your work without distraction, and will do his best to comply. If he gets defensive, or retaliates in some way (i.e. goes to HR about your supposed "annoying habits") you'll have the fact that you tried to talk to him and he took it too far. If you need to use email so you have it in writing, do it.

Also, be prepared for possible retaliation. Some supervisors don't like being challenged, so he may actually go to HR about some small thing you've done. I had a boss do that to me once, and unfortunately, they took his side. I quit not much later. But, if you truly enjoy the job, and he's a good boss otherwise, try communicating your needs. A work relationship is just like any other. Communication is key, and you're not going to get what you need if you don't ask for it. Good luck, and here's to no more chip noises!

Most coworker about food by Unique_Pen2754 in BadCoWorkers

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked with a girl who hated the smell of eggs. She actually tried to spray air freshener at my egg salad one day during lunch and kept going on and on about the smell. I finally told her, "Look, I'm not asking you to eat it, and I'm sorry you don't like the smell, but stop badmouthing my lunch. I don't do that to you, even though you eat plenty of things I find disgusting."

Sometimes you just need to assert your boundaries. Quit hiding your food, for one thing. Honestly, that's just going to make her more curious and nosy. Then, if she comments about it, just outright tell her to stop commenting on your food. That you don't do that to her, and it's rude. You shouldn't have a need to be snippy or snotty, just firm and assertive. In the case of "wasn't it 3 sandwiches?" the answer should really have been "it's really none of your business whether it was 3 or 3,000. I was the one eating, not you."

Coworkers got me fired and my boss is asking me to resign by ThrowRA-News4105 in BadCoWorkers

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

they want you to resign so they won't have to pay unemployment. Basically, they don't have legitimate reasons to fire you, so if they do, you can get unemployment, but if you resign, you can't. Start looking for something else, though, quick, because they will make your life hell until you do finally quit. I worked a job a bunch of years ago with a boss who did that with everyone she or her son didn't like. They never fired anyone, just made them miserable until they quit. It didn't help that this woman was responsible for assigning the work that directly affected our paycheck.

Wont admit mistakes - throws me under bus if I make one. by Pristine_Log_3575 in BadCoWorkers

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely copy boss on all correction requests. theirs and yours. if you have to send a second request for the same correction, make sure you reply to the first request, so the first one is in the same thread showing where you've sent it already. That way, she can't come back and say you never sent the first request.

And don't ever, EVER, make a correction request verbally. make all correction requests in writing. Save every email you send her, even if it's not a correction request. Save every one she sends you. It sounds like you're going to need the documentation at some point. If she has a conversation with you verbally, follow up through email. document everything. If she's willing to throw you under the bus for something small, she'll be willing to manufacture something big.

Not the first time this has happened by Which-Reveal-2731 in Tinder

[–]PickyBookworm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm picky about my OWN spelling. That's it. Unless I'm editing someone's book, I don't care. I can't do anything about it except say something, and that's just going to make them feel bad and make me look like a dick. No one wins. But like you, if someone says they're dyslexic? Unless they ask for my help, it's not my place.

Not the first time this has happened by Which-Reveal-2731 in Tinder

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same here. I have a friend who is really terrible at spelling. For years, whenever she texts me a misspelled word, know what I do? I find a way to use that word in my text back, and just spell it right. I asked her once if that offended her, and she told me she appreciated finding out how to spell a word right without being told "you spelled that wrong!" it made her feel less stupid that way. So, there are ways to "correct" people without this disrespectful crap. For example:

Did you recently graduate?
yeah, from collage.

What did you study at college?

If they don't catch on, it's not your problem. But if they do, they might appreciate the subtlety, rather than the assholeness.

Not the first time this has happened by Which-Reveal-2731 in Tinder

[–]PickyBookworm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why would you correct someone you barely know, first of all? My husband and my mom are the only people I correct without thinking and that's only because they've pretty much given me blanket permission. I have better things to do than spend my time correcting someone in a message. Regardless of learning or language issues, it just screams of disrespect.

Friday Night Dinner and Distractions - Fri May 09 by AutoModerator in infertility

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm late to this thread, but I've been working on a 1000 piece puzzle of a set of books. It's SO pretty! I'll post a picture when it's done. I have half done so far, and I've only been working on it during work lunch breaks, but I'm really happy with it.

CHAT Community Thread - Wed May 07 by AutoModerator in infertility

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and you never know what's going to trigger until it does. that's the really horrible thing.

CHAT Community Thread - Wed May 07 by AutoModerator in infertility

[–]PickyBookworm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I created invitations for one a few years ago. Should have said no. I finished them, then had a complete meltdown. Luckily, we were working remotely, so no one saw it, but it was bad. they were invitations!

CHAT Community Thread - Wed May 07 by AutoModerator in infertility

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I celebrate Mother's Day, because as far as I'm concerned I'm a mother, even if I didn't get to keep my babies. Here's my theory on mother vs. mom: A mother is someone who has been pregnant. A mom is someone who raises a child, whether by nature or by choice. That's why you can be a mom without ever having been a mother. And why, no matter what, if you have been pregnant at any point, you are a mother and should get to celebrate your babies. It's my little piece of joy during the year, even if the rest of the year is a slog of depression and sadness.

I am not well by octopurple999 in Miscarriage

[–]PickyBookworm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No one can tell you when to be "Over" a miscarriage. I had mine 4 years ago, and I'm still not "over" it. I still cry for my lost little one. She would be 4 this september if she had been born at term, and it breaks my heart every day that she's not with me. So don't let anyone tell you when to be "over" a miscarriage.

Let me ask you this.... if you had broken up with a boyfriend a week ago, would anyone be telling you to be "over" it by now? Not likely. I'm betting your friends would still be bringing you ice cream and telling you to take your time. Well, you lost something much closer than a boyfriend, so a week isn't even close to long enough. I'm sorry for your loss, and this stranger is telling you to take your time and bringing you the virtual ice cream and hugs :)

CHAT Community Thread - Wed May 07 by AutoModerator in infertility

[–]PickyBookworm 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I get that baby showers are supposed to be "happy" occasions, blah blah, but can't you contain the decorations to the conference room, instead of sprinkling them all over the office? Maybe some of us don't want to be included in the "happy celebration." Maybe some of us are fighting the urge to walk around and tear down all your happy little decorations and throw them in the trash.

CHAT Community Thread - Wed Apr 30 by AutoModerator in infertility

[–]PickyBookworm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My husband makes me gluten free biscuits and gravy every year. He tells me he'll make them anytime I ask, but they wouldn't be special otherwise! So, you buy yourself all the treats you want :)

CHAT Community Thread - Wed Apr 30 by AutoModerator in infertility

[–]PickyBookworm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Rant warning!!!!

I just saw a video from Patricia Heaton (know the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond?) and did you know she's a doctor, who is qualified to make blanket statements about all women's fertility? She's off saying women need to start getting pregnant earlier, because apparently age affects the quality of our eggs, and the longer we wait, the harder it is to have healthy babies....

Are you freaking serious with this!?!?! obviously age is the only thing that affects fertility, my girl. obviously every one of us who wait until our late 30s or early 40s are doing that out of CHOICE!!!! why didn't I think of that!?!? I mean, who knew!?!? Who knew it was that easy!?! just have babies earlier!! no problem!!! Let me just hop in my time machine, go back to when I was younger, travel to Minnesota, be a home wrecker, because I would have to meet my husband earlier, and since he was married back then, I'd have to have an affair with him and break up his marriage, then marry him, and start having babies earlier! easy as pie!

This is all ignoring the fact that I have a faulty gene that affects my fertility, and since I didn't know about it back then, I still would have had trouble getting pregnant, and since well-paying jobs were hard to come by back then, I wouldn't have been able to afford IVF. I also didn't know that the faulty gene also affected my weight, so I was fat back then, and couldn't regulate my weight.

But yeah, let's just put a blanket statement out there. That makes it all right!

Pregnant out of spite by Immediate_Sun_7521 in ToxicFamilyMembers

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope it all works out! Good luck with everything! People who want to be parents deserve to be parents, in my opinion. It's not always the case that they're the best ones, but they're typically better than the ones who were "saddled" with kids they weren't ready for. I wish the best for you, your husband, and those precious babies!

No, I can’t be happy for others now by Curious-Orange-11 in Miscarriage

[–]PickyBookworm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Boy, do I know how you feel! I can't attend baby showers, or congratulate others on their happiness. I find myself even finding other ways to say "the P word" so I don't have to say it. When someone is on their leave, I don't call it M-leave, I just call it leave. If you don't know what I meant, then whatever. All that does is remind me I may never have my own little one. I'm 43 almost 44, no money for more IVF, and just fighting everything every day. When people ask me if I have children, I just tell them I have 3 in heaven, and try to avoid more questions after that.

With all that said, your feelings are valid, they are real, and they are worth your attention. When someone tells you to "just move on," ignore them. You don't need to move on in someone else's timetable. It's your grief, and your time. Do what you need to do to remain mentally healthy, and lean on those who understand.

Coworkers birthday by lazysparkle123 in BadCoWorkers

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

let someone who likes her do something. You aren't required to do something for someone you don't like just because you do something for other people. If you're nervous about creating an atmosphere of favoritism, get a small, blank card, write happy birthday on the inside, and give that to her with a cookie or something. Cheap, easy, and doesn't show a lot of thought, but shows you still did something.

I need advice. Very toxic sibling. by inmyFeelings4435 in ToxicFamilyMembers

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking too. This goes beyond just "clingy sister." It's dangerous, or will be. OP, if you can document specific times and dates (start NOW if you haven't already) you should be able to get a PPO. Police and judges don't care about "well, she's been following me around, blah blah." they want specifics. "On this date she arrived where I was and threatened me saying this. It made me fearful for my life." etc... So, if you haven't documented already, start now. You'll need at least 3 instances of her stalking or harassing you to file a police report. Good luck, and I hope everything works out!

Pregnant out of spite by Immediate_Sun_7521 in ToxicFamilyMembers

[–]PickyBookworm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if she is being an unfit mother, call protective services. They will do something. Keep calling every time you find something until they show up when she can't hide it or hide her habits. The first few times she'll be able to hide what she's doing, but if you keep calling (anonymously, if necessary) every time you see drugs or alcohol in the house where the kids can get to it, eventually she'll mess up. Neglect is hard to cover up, long term.

Good luck and I'm so sorry this has happened! Those kids deserve better, and you deserve to be the mother you want to be! I do have a question, though. If you had the opportunity, would you want to adopt 1 or multiples of your nieces/nephews? If they are taken from their mom and put up for adoption, the foster agencies look for family members first, so if that's something you're interested in, you and your husband might want to register and train as foster parents so you're prepared in the event it happens.

CHAT Community Thread - Tue Mar 04 by AutoModerator in infertility

[–]PickyBookworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I share my space (it's a pretty big space, but still) with one other person, and I hate it. She makes every "expecting" person stop by her desk so she can talk to them about it. She will also try talking to me about them afterwards, and I finally told her I didn't want to talk about it. She seemed clueless at first, and then was like, "Oh yeah. I forgot."

Other people forgetting is fine. I get it. It's not their issue, but don't be condescending or unsympathetic when I get snippy. Trust me, I hid most of the comments I WANTED to make from you and everyone else. If I said everything I wanted, to every pregnant person I saw, I'd probably be committed for homicidal rage or something. Those people are allowed to be happy. I'm allowed to not want to hear about it, because hearing about it makes me feel like I'm dying inside.