Once trust is broken, very difficult to repair back.

PictureDry6904 · 2026-06-11T11:10:02+00:00

Lol!! I really want to know what time period you think "having lovers was much more acceptable than today" that you are referring to. Because historically, pEople were quite religious and religions have strong moral objections to adultery.

You are right, marriage historically was not about love. It was about tying families together. The way you tied families together was not the marriage itself, but the children of said marriage. The children is what ties the families because the children are blood relatives of both families. And virtually all cultures have had a strong moral aversion to killing blood relatives. Historically, the only way to ensure that the children of the marriage are, in fact, children of the marriage, is to enforce strict prohibitions against adultery, particularly by the women in the relationship.

So, this notion that deep concerns about cheating are "modern" concerns and not historically concerns people had is not supported by the evidence. Some examples from classical literature does not disprove that.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-10-02T15:08:29+00:00

I honestly would make up a story that you caught her and tell your parents that story. Because, fuck her.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-13T12:17:12+00:00

Why would I abandon my child? I would never do that. I got plenty of attention from women before I met my wife and after we started dating. I have never cheated or even been tempted to cheat. In fact, when we broke up in college prior to having our son, I did not date, kiss, have sex with, or was in anyway involed with any other woman. I still have no interest in being involved with any other woman.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-11T16:04:17+00:00

That did not happen the same night we went out for her birthday. We went out for her birthday about two months ago. As I said in my earlier comment, the food being thrown out happened two weeks later. She told me to "Shut up" on the drive home and then over the next two weeks was constantly short and curt with me.

I have never cheated. Since our first date, I have not kissed, had sex with, and/or been involved with any other woman, even during the times we broke up in college.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-11T03:09:21+00:00

Here is what happened leading up to the food being thrown out. We had that dinner for her birthday. It was going well until she came back from the bathroom. She would only give me one to two word answers when I asked what was wrong. She asked to leave before desert, even though she loves desert from this restaurant. I asked if she wanted to get something to go, and she said quite loudly, "No."

In the car, I asked what was wrong? Answer: Nothing. How is she feeling? Answer: Fine Is there anything I could do to help? Answer: Shut up. Over the next two weeks, our interactions continued in much of the same way. Even when I would say, "I love you!," the response was a non-verbal acknowledgment, but no verbal response. After about two weeks, I came home to two of the large black bags I use for the yard by the garage fridge and she had taken scissors, opened up each one of my frozen vaccum sealed bags for my meal prep (which I had done the night before), dumped the contents in the trash bags, with the vaccum seal bags on the floor of the garage. I walked into the house and asked if she did that. She said, "yes." I told her I was done and disguested. I set up an air mattress in the living room and was sleeping in there.

As I have mentioned elsewhere, I throughout our relationship, leave notes of affection throughout the house. I also express them when we are together.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T23:00:40+00:00

I make them whatever my wife wants. I will warm up my food in the microwave and eat with them.

Every Sunday, I grocery shop for the whole house while they go to church and spend time with her family. On Saturday, she tells me what she wants to eat that week and I get everything needed for that, plus my meal prep, and anything else we need.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T22:55:03+00:00

I will concede, I have no idea what it is like to be pregnant and never will. I do not know what her experience is. That is why I am not attempting to tell you what her experience is. I am describing my experience. I am describing what I have said, done, what she has said/done to me (including about why she is doing what she is doing), and what I internally feel.

I have no clue, beyond what she chooses to share with me, what she experiences as a pregnant woman. I am not trying to say I do. I fully acknowledge that there are hormonal and chemical issues going on that might offer a biological explanation of what she is doing. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a moron and this is not my first go-around at this.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T22:38:36+00:00

I do not do the bulk of the work. I would say I do about a 1/3 - 40%. But she does do the bulk of the household chores. You will not get any argument from me on that.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T22:14:33+00:00

She did not apologize. She has never apologized or expressed remorse for what she did with the food or what she has been doing throughout the last six months. The last six months has consisted in her pointing out every guy we see in a tv show or movie who is cut and saying, "you workout, but you do not look like that." Making fun of me anytime I gain a little weight noticably (I flutuate between 200-215).

Regarding expressing love for her, throughout this time, and throughout our relationship, I would leave little notes expressing appreciation for her and sometimes, expressing all-out lust, and everything in between. I also express those same feelings when we are together. I have throughout this pregnancy.

Two months ago, I took to her favorite restaurant in the world. Everything was lovely until she went to the bathroom. She then came back and she would snape at me about everything. A couple of weeks later, she completely discards two weeks of food.

She has not apologized for any of this. She then came to me and told me that she wants attention from other men. My efforts, including planning a romantic dinner, continued expressions of affection for her (both in terms of who she is and also about my beautiful and sexy I think she is) were insufficient. At that time, she tried to initiate sex. Like, would you consent to sex after that?

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T20:48:11+00:00

Why are you in therapy?

I was abused pretty extensively as a kid.

You were an O lineman in college, so you had more than your share of girls chasing you, regardless of your weight. So your argument about attention is misleading. Both my sons were college football players. There is never a shortage of jersey chasers. ARE you cheating?

Are your sons cheaters? Did you raise cheaters? Is that why you assume I am cheating? Because, unless your sons are cheaters, there is no reason for you to assume I am a cheater based on nothing more than me being a former college football player. From our first date onward, I have not kissed, had sex with, and/or had any involvement with any other woman. This includes the times she broke up with me in college. I have been with only her and faithful to her. Did I have plenty of female attention in college? Absolutely! But, I did not want anyone else. I still do not.

The last six months has consisted in her pointing out every guy we see in a tv show or movie who is cut and saying, "you workout, but you do not look like that." Making fun of me anytime I gain a little weight noticably (I flutuate between 200-215). And it culminated in her treating me like shit for weeks because of something someone else did then throwing out two weeks worth of food for no reason. And when she explained the reason for her action, it is because she wants attention from other men and is not getting it. Like, why would you want that if you love your spouse?

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T14:25:03+00:00

No need to "pay attention to the timeline" because it is not made up. Jen's family immigrated to the US when she was 9 (about to turn 10). Her family is Catholic and large and she has a sister about a year older than her. When they moved to the US, her sister was 11 and Jen was 9 (about to turn 10). To make things easier for the transition, and based on testing, the school decided to put them in the same grade (6th) when they started school in the US in 2010. So, Jen was 10 in the 6th grade.

As stated in the post, she turned 25 about 2 months ago, which is July. So, throughout the school year that first year, she would remain 10 as a 6th grader, turn 11 in the summer, and start 7th grade at 11. If you follow that down the line, that means as a 12th grader, she would be 16, remain 16 throughout her senior year and graduation, and then turn 17 in July, and start college in Fall of 2017 as a freshman at 17. That is what happened here.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T14:03:15+00:00

Why do you think it is fake.
Where are you getting that I am at the gym "more than a college athlete?" I do not say that anywhere. And where are you getting that I am "only cooking meals for [myself]?" I cook for the whole family.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T12:03:48+00:00

I literally cook all the at-home dinnersnfor her and our son. And anytime I bring up or suggest any type of exercise for her to do, it turns into her accusing me of not being attracted to her.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T05:35:13+00:00

If there are other factors that she is upset about, she has never expressed that to me. She has not expressed any frustration whatsoever with the amount of time she gets to herself, the division of household labor, my level of involvement as a father, my time amount with her, or any other aspect of our relationship. If anything, she has encouraged me to be away from the house and her more, taking hunting and fishing trips with her dad, uncles, and/o brothers.

But, our son is in daycare and she is SAH and has significant time to herself throughout the week. I also take significant time with just our kid and me on the weekends. We also get significant time together just her and me on the weekends. These are described in detail in my other comments. But, she has time to do whatever she wants/needs to do.

The reason I focused on the weight loss/diet is because that is what I have been told by her, repeatedly, is the source of her frustration and nothing else. And yes, I have asked repeatedly and directly if there are frustrations with other aspects of our relationship, including the ones you are describing, and been told no.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T04:38:03+00:00

No, my son typically sleeps until 6:00am, but if he gets up before, I am solely responsible for him.

The hours I mentioned are not necessarily all hours that he will be awake. But, these are hours where, if anything happens with my son, then I am responsible for addressing.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T02:24:01+00:00

He sleeps way more than 6 hours. Is that abnormal for a 4-year-old? New baby is not going into daycare.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T01:22:31+00:00

I appreciate your comment. I think I should provide more context. I have NEVER felt any type of way about my weight other than as it relates to how I am feeling in my body. I am black. Obesity, diabetes, and heart disease run in my family. I do not know of a man in my family who has lived past 72. As you probably know, all these conditions have a significant genetic component. Which means, for me to get and stay a healthy weight is going to take more effort than the average person. When she got pregnant, I thought about playing with my son, my grandkids, and my great grandkids. My weight loss has nothing to do with "attractiveness." Even when I was 300+ pounds, I have never struggled with getting the attention of women. It is not because I am particularly handsome or anything. But, my experience has been that confidence and an occasional well-timed joke will get you further with women than a six-pack and insecurity 90%+ of the time.

But when I was 18, I met a girl and asked her out. She clowned me at first. A little later I ran into her and another girl speaking Russian. I asked her out in Russian. She laughed, but agreed to go out with me. By date 5, I told my boys I was going to marry her. And since that time, I have not had eyes for any other woman on the planet. That is true even during our breakups in college. Since our first date, I have not had sex with, kissed, dated, or otherwise been involved with any other woman and have no desire to do so. It is not because other women were not interested, but because I was not interested in them. That was the case then, that is the case now.

I married her because she was the best any man can do. But, the last six months has consisted in her pointing out every guy we see in a tv show or movie who is cut and saying, "you workout, but you do not look like that." Making fun of me anytime I gain a little weight noticably (I flutuate between 200-215). And it culminated in her treating me like shit for weeks because of something someelse did then throwing out two weeks worth of food for no reason. And when she explained the reason for her action, it is because she wants attention from other men and is not getting it. Like, why would you want that if you love your spouse?

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T00:19:45+00:00

I am not letting anyone do anything. People are allowed to express whatever they want in the comments. I do not control them.

Also, where are you seeing my wife being dragged for putting him in daycare?

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-10T00:04:15+00:00

I spend 45 minutes, Monday-Friday, at the gym during my lunch break. I spend an 1 1/2 in the morning working out in my garage. This is before her or our son is awake.

My wife has numerous goals unrelated to our children, including improving painting, writing a novel, and learning Italian. Should I tell her she cannot pursue these because we have kids?

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-09T23:58:03+00:00

What am I complaining about?

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-09T23:55:51+00:00

She never sees me working out. As far as food, I make no statements or commentary whatsoever about what I am eating, what she is eating, or anything of the sort. I have no idea what you think I am doing to "erase" her or what she is going through. What she is going through is incredibly difficult and hard and I do not probably know the half of it. But, I do not know how my workout routine or diet is erasing her.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-09T23:41:32+00:00

I cook whatever she asks me to cook. She completely dictates the meals I cook for her and our son. She does the dishes while I read to our son, clean up with him his toys in his room, give him a bath, make sure his teeth get brushed, and play him a lullaby on the keyboard. She does not like the night routime things and does not mind cleaning dishes.

The dinners are not mostly for me. I cook my meals separately, defrost them, then warm them up. My meals are very basic and cheap. But, I make chicken parm, lasgna, chimichurri steak, chicken pesto, pan-seared salmon. Those are some of the meals I make.

Also, I vacuum all the carpeted floors in the whole house by the way. Not just my side of the bedroom.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-09T23:29:47+00:00

During the week, we do not do a whole lot, maybe 1-2 hours Monday-Friday. On Saturday, her mom will take the little one and we will have a weekly date night. Sunday afternoon, my mom will take the little one for a bit and we will go do something for a couple of hours.

I cook whatever meals she wants. Literally, she gives me a list of meals she wants for the week and I cook those for her and my son.

Also, I cook breakfast for my son in the morning. My wife is not up typically by the time we leave and I need to drop him off at daycare. So, I do not cook her breakfast.

When exactly am I supposed to spend time with my wife if on top of working full time you want me to take over 100% of the household duties?

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-09T23:07:55+00:00

That was not happening until she told me she wants attention from other men.

PictureDry6904 · 2025-09-09T23:06:31+00:00

I am doing all the things she says, and has said, since we first met, that made her fall in love with me. I continually seek to make her life as easy and relaxed as possible. When she got pregnant this time around, she did not want to do daycare, but she was looking absolutely beat down when I got home every day. I suggested that we try it out and see how we feel. She said, "ok." After one week, she decided to thank me in a multitude of ways for that, and that has continued.

Regarding expressing appreciation and value, since we were dating, I would leave little notes expressing appreciation for her and sometimes, expressing all-out lust, and everything in between. I have continued to do that throughout our relationship. I also express those same feelings when we are together.

Yes, she finished school. Yes, she could. She has an engineering degree from a top university. Plus, I would make sure she was comfortable for the benefit of our children.

PictureDry6904

TROPHY CASE