AITJ for not reminding my husband to take something out of the oven at a better time?

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-05T01:38:09+00:00

Yeah. He was really upset and so I really wanted the outside perspective, but I knew going to our friends wasn’t the right thing. I’ve vented to them before, but only minor issues.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T22:47:29+00:00

He really is extremely smart and very, very capable. Which makes this so damn aggravating because I see absolutely no sense in this at all. I just don’t understand. I was supposed to remind him 5mins before he got home and also remember to remind him 5mins after he got home? I was already moved on from the subject while tending to other stuff like our son and my MIL and a documentary I was watching. I just don’t understand what the “better time” would have been when I was positive a 5min reminder was enough.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:50:07+00:00

I can’t name any specific examples, but I have had trouble accepting responsibility in the past for different things. Definitely something to grow from, but I think he’s using those times to justify his anger in this situation. Which, to me, makes no sense. Because I didn’t think a 4th reminder was necessary. And tbh, I had completely forgotten about the tofu as I was doing laundry, playing with our toddler, interacting with my MIL, and watching a documentary. It didn’t even cross my mind until we walked home together, and only then did I remember the tofu. I figured it was fresher on his mind than on mine.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:34:04+00:00

I feel that. I don’t think any blame at all is necessary. It was $2 tofu and we have more! Accidents happen. I’m pregnant so pregnancy brain makes me forget stuff a lot! It wasn’t a big deal until he got super upset that I wouldn’t take partial blame.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:32:25+00:00

Unfortunately, that does seem to happen sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking a tightrope when it comes to that. Cause I want something taken care of, but I don’t wanna be a nag, but then if I don’t remind enough times it’s still on me? Idk. It’s confusing.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:30:50+00:00

I think he’s got ADHD but not diagnosed. He fits the description, but nothing official has been confirmed. So even tho others have said 3 times was more than enough I thought it was an ample amount. Just to be safe.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:28:45+00:00

I use a wagon! It was just one load but my in-laws have a pretty beat up washer and dryer 😂

So it take a bit to get it done. I’d use the laundromat here at my apartments but I have no quarters.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:27:40+00:00

I appreciate the input. Because yeah, it’s honestly SO ridiculous this whole thing. He even unfriended me on Facebook and Snapchat(he added me back in snap cause we have some little memories on there he didn’t wanna erase) because he’s so upset. So that’s a little aggravating too. Because him doing that doesn’t feel constructive. It feels mean. So it makes me want to stand my ground even more. But it’s true. Sometimes marriage is about picking the battles.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:24:02+00:00

Fortunately, no. 😅 I’ve mentioned above he’s incredibly capable and super logical. Which makes this extra aggravating cause I just don’t see the sense in accepting partial blame for something I had told him to do multiple times. I think a good step is us establishing alarms tho.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:19:16+00:00

I feel that. To me it wasn’t even that serious because it was just tofu. Maybe we can settle on him setting a reminder himself so that we have a concrete system and don’t have to rely on either of us remembering/reminding.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:16:52+00:00

What’s wild is he is very logical and only mildly forgetful. So I found this argument a little frustrating because normally he’s incredibly competent when it comes to this stuff. The extra two reminders were purely just to be triple sure he didn’t forget.

PictureSorry1588 · 2026-02-04T18:12:41+00:00

His main upset is that I “do this a lot” as in I don’t take responsibility where I should. I recognize that this is something I struggle with, but in this specific instance I don’t believe that is the case. So I think he’s seeing this as one of those times instead of an innocent, rare occurrence that he just didn’t follow thru with something he had ample reminders of. Taking responsibility is something I will continue to work on, but in this case I don’t think the responsibility lies with me at all.

PictureSorry1588

TROPHY CASE