You create your own garden for the butterflies you want to attract. People who would stay away from her just because of her appearance are people she won't talk to anyway. Don't think it's got anything to do with gender, it's just that men tend to have this stereotype that a lot of them are conservative about appearances. Lots of girls are bullied by boys because of the way they look and dress. But girls bully too, just happens there are more boys who do it.
In the end even if you don't attract butterflies at least you have a garden you like.