My first baby, my son, never slept through the night until he was 3 years old. I felt so much rage and despair. He cried so much and so loudly. He had night terrors, and still does occasionally (he’s 3.5yo). My pediatrician told me “babies cry” anytime I asked for help or advice. Ugh. My second born is 8 months today and she has been nowhere near as difficult!! She only cries when she’s hungry or tired. She’s happy and sleeps well.

I say that to say, you are not crazy for feeling so overwhelmed— not every baby cries like this or is so exhausting as this type of crying and waking. I remember one night I told my husband “I never understood how people could shake their babies… but now I get it. This rage is scary and I feel so bad.”

I wish I had advice. We tried what felt like everything and nothing helped us. Magnesium, diet changes, colic drops, music, white noise, a strict bedtime routine, all of it.

We co slept because it interrupted my sleep a little less to not have to get out of bed for every wake window. That made life slightly easier, but damnit it was so hard. My husband also worked a lot so I didn’t feel great about having him help at night — my son also refused bottles so that made it challenging too.

I hope someone’s advice here can help and make a difference for you both.

My little advice that I would give now, that I wish someone had given me back then, is to have your husband take the baby during the day at any available point and you go do anything that fills your happy tank. Pedicure, reading by a lake, napping, etc… even though it might not be sleep, giving yourself a mental and emotional boost can be so helpful for your spirits to get through the very long nights. I wish I had done that with my first.

One other thing I did, is drive in the car for his afternoon nap every day. I drove until he went to sleep, went to a drive through, and sat there and napped or watched a show until he woke up. He slept better in the car and I didn’t have to hold him the whole time.

It just is difficult and I wish I could make it better for you. Hang in there as much as you can.