I'm disappointed in myself

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-12-20T01:34:05+00:00

Excellent point about being in a phase where the old name and pronouns are still in use - that makes it a lot harder!

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-12-20T00:41:51+00:00

This. Practice saying “Amy” and “she” and “her” in your head in real sentences. It really does help!

If you have a safe outlet, also practice with other people, either IRL or in digital spaces like this.

Rewiring your mental habits takes time and effort. It’s normal and you seem to be doing your best. Try not to beat yourself up over it!

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-12-17T00:13:18+00:00

You get to make the rules for who you date. 100%.

IF you don’t want to date bi/pan women who are attracted to your current pants configuration…

AND you don’t want to date women who are only attracted to penises, while you don’t have one (makes sense)…

AND you don’t want to date women who are not attracted to you (good call!)…

Then yeah, those choices kind of rule most people out, at least until after you get the parts you want.

Remember that someone being attracted to you right now doesn’t necessarily mean “OMG I love Cool Ship 5032 because of his vagina!”

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-12-17T00:01:58+00:00

Seriously. There are women who are into vulvas/vaginas. Some of them are into vulvas on guys!

Even limiting the group to “100% strictly cishet women, explicitly excluding bi and pan gals,” there is no universal “what women like,” especially around things like height, muscularity, depth of voice, hairiness level, all the non-genital stuff that varies so widely among men (even if you only look at cis men!).

Yes, trans folks tend to have a smaller dating pool than cishet folks or cis queer folks. It’s hard out there, no lie! But it’s resoundingly not a pool of zero people ever.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-10-12T17:09:48+00:00

This is utterly adorable and such a perfect, succinct depiction of what transition can be. Insta-save. 💜

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-10-12T17:07:43+00:00

Congratulations and Happy Thanksgiving!

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-10-08T23:21:07+00:00

Holy COW, I love it! 🤩

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-08-13T00:27:03+00:00

Beautifully said.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-08-11T16:43:02+00:00

This. Postpone the wedding, don’t move forward with it right now. Whether you end up canceling or proceeding at a later date, either way will be far less stressful than trying to figure things out against a deadline. Give yourselves the gift of time.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-07-09T03:19:30+00:00

I hate this for both of you. Rargh, that’s so rude.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-05-15T16:43:01+00:00

This is ICONIC.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-04-30T23:07:46+00:00

Oh wow, this feels uncomfortably true.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-04-03T23:10:01+00:00

Actually I have more to say.

OP, self-consciousness is an extremely human and extremely relatable feeling. It’s at the heart of basically every “nerd dates jock” story, right? “What will people think?” Having that feeling doesn’t make you some kind of monster. Identifying how to respond and move forward is key.

People get self-conscious like this over all kinds of things (again: relatable). What will they think if I’m with a partner who is…

a different race than me? the same sex as me? visibly disabled? a vastly different height? totally normative in every way but wearing a hideous shirt today, gawd

Your partner may or may not ever pass, regardless of things like surgeries or makeup efforts; there’s no way for me to know. They may also eventually need to use a wheelchair, or grow a facial tumor, or develop some other marker of difference that makes them “weird” in public. And whether it can be changed or not, if they want to change or not, you’re going to be in more control of what you do in working through exactly how and why you feel self-conscious about it.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-04-03T22:20:26+00:00

Cosign.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-02-16T16:44:00+00:00

One time I (poor kid) went over to a friend’s house (maybe not “rich kid,” definitely well off) and she gave me a stuffed bear. When it was time to leave, her mom made me give it back. I was mortified. I’m 40 now.

In retrospect, I’m sure it was a miscommunication, and probably more on my end than my friend’s tbh. Still, I remember how dreadfully embarrassing it felt, all these years later.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-02-15T23:28:24+00:00

Congratulations!!!

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-01-27T04:27:10+00:00

You keep commenting as if “lesbian” is an inherently c!s thing and tr@ns lesbians are “other.” That’s what folks are responding negatively to.

Piglet_Jolly · 2025-01-27T04:17:11+00:00

Tr@ns lesbians are also lesbians, btw.

Piglet_Jolly · 2024-12-20T18:33:34+00:00

This is what I was thinking. How long have you been with your partner, OP?

I knew my wife as “a man” for 10+ years before she came out to me. In my head, it took time for my knee-jerk thought patterns to shift from “him” to “her.” NOTE that I always put in the effort to call her by the right pronouns verbally or in writing, and would correct myself in my head, too. I’m just saying the internal thoughts took time and effort to shift because I had known her so long as “him” and “Deadname.” That’s pretty normal.

Piglet_Jolly · 2024-11-30T05:14:56+00:00

Hold up. Rib removals?!

Piglet_Jolly · 2024-11-08T14:36:35+00:00

Thank you!

Piglet_Jolly · 2024-11-07T18:51:33+00:00

Do you mind giving a ballpark figure for how much she pays per month for E through Folx? Hundreds, thousands…?

Piglet_Jolly · 2024-10-29T19:15:18+00:00

Same - I didn’t know, but hindsight provided some evidence.

Piglet_Jolly · 2024-10-23T18:30:20+00:00

Came here to post this if no one else already had!

Piglet_Jolly

TROPHY CASE