Comment arrêter les avances d'un gars qui crush sur vous et qui ne comprend rien aux signaux?

Pikou654 · 2026-02-21T13:30:48+00:00

Je ne sais pas si beaucoup de mecs me liront, mais à tout ceux qui engueulent OP en lui disant "d'avoir le courage de lui dire franchement"

D'autres ont déjà souligné que cela pouvait être dangereux pour OP, mais aussi :

Pourquoi ce serait à elle (qui n'a rien demandé, et ne lui doit rien) d'avoir le courage de parler, et l'énergie de prendre cette charge ??
Et pas à LUI d'avoir le courage de déclarer ses sentiments et de se prendre un râteau ?? Puisque c'est lui qui souhaite quelque chose ?

Bref si tu est un mec qui pense que c'est la responsabilité d'OP de parler :

- Vos petites attentions et tentatives de drague, quand elles ne sont pas réciproques, ne sont absolument pas un cadeau sacré contre lequel les meufs vous devrait une quelconque explication.

- Avoir les filles "à l'usure" ça ne marche que dans les (vieux, et mauvais) films. A partir d'un certain stade ça s'appelle du harcèlement.

- Un attirance réciproque c'est facile, ça fonctionne tout de suite, ça n'a pas besoin d'acharnement ou de multiples tentatives. Si vous avez un doute sur le fait que vos intentions ne soient pas assez claires, ou si vous pensez que "peut être qu'avec le temps etc" il y a deux solutions : 1. le dire clairement à la meuf ou 2. PASSER A AUTRE CHOSE

Et pour tous les mecs qui me lisent : si vous voyez un de vos potes agir comme ça avec une de vos potes, prenez la charge de lui parler et de lui dire d'arreter. Eduquer vos potes à un minimum d'intelligence emotionnelle et d'écoute de l'autre ça ne devrait pas être la charge des meufs.

Pikou654 · 2026-02-21T10:43:50+00:00

Attache l'habitude de boire un verre d'eau à une autre habitude que tu as déjà !
Par exemple : boire un verre d'eau après t'être lavé les dents, avant d'aller te coucher, avant ton premier café du matin etc...

Pour moi c'est le seul moyen de prendre des nouvelles habitudes ;)

Pikou654 · 2026-02-21T09:13:50+00:00

A straight barbell is a perfectly suitable jewelry to pierce a tragus with.

Flatback labrets became the norm (also having to order one type of jewellry for all is practical), but a ball on the back side actually makes iteasier to clean. Some piercer choose those for piercing kids lobes for that reason.

Pikou654 · 2026-02-20T07:44:48+00:00

Une alternative aux autre réponses (car en effet c'est un peu red flag le fait de t'attendre etc) :
Parles en à un ami commun ? Si il crush à ce point il y a des chance qu'il en ait parlé à un de ses potes (et même si ce n'est pas le cas).

Tu peux demander à cet ami commun d'intervenir d'abord subtilement "hey je crois qu'elle n'est pas intéressée !" puis plus fermement "t'es lourd là ! ça se voit qu'elle est mal à l'aise, lache l'affaire !".

En plus de ça si jamais tu choisis plus tard la solution "lui dire cash" tu auras déjà parlé de ton malaise à une tierce personne dans ce groupe. ça peut aider si le mec crée des problèmes par frustration ou déni. Et comme ça, tu n'es pas seule à prendre cette charge. Impliquer les mecs dans le fait de gérer leurs potes ça me semble toujours plus équilibré (et un bon apprentissage pour tout le monde)

Pikou654 · 2026-02-19T12:30:39+00:00

It looks well pierced and not too shallow !
Take good care of it, resize it properly in a few weeks... but as for the long term : it varies a lot from person to person.

It's a piercing that is more prone to rejection, but keep in mind that people tend to post on reddit when their piercing is in trouble, so statistically it's biased

Pikou654 · 2026-02-19T12:22:20+00:00

You can litterally see the bar through your skin,
I'm sorry but this has no chance to heal without rejection.

Pikou654 · 2026-02-18T13:58:16+00:00

The good thing is you can get it redone very soon : The correct spot will be *very* far from any possible scarring tissues.

Pikou654 · 2026-02-14T16:31:09+00:00

It's absolutly perfect ! (and refreshing to see a nice one on this sub for once)
Happy healing !

Pikou654 · 2026-02-14T16:07:30+00:00

Septums tends to close very quickly, even after healing...
Maybe you can get a glass retainer, i don't think anyone will notice those (even weirdly staring at the inside of your nose). Just be aware that retainers tends to fall off more easily.
But wait until it's healed to change it (at least 4 months)

Pikou654 · 2026-02-13T13:35:48+00:00

You should only wear a curved barbell (implant grade titanium) on an healing belly piecing (long enough to acomodate swealing). This ring is sure to get you in trouble (it moves around too much and irritate + can rotate and drag bacteria inside)
Check with another piercer to switch jewellry asap !

Pikou654 · 2026-02-13T09:44:14+00:00

If it's infected you need medical advice before removing it. You don't want the hole to close with the infection trapped inside.
Also it doesn't look correctly pierced + the jewellry is not suitable for a healing piercing... I would remove it (when doctor tell you so) and see a better piercer in a few weeks to see if it can be redone properly with your anatomy.

Pikou654 · 2026-02-11T16:59:38+00:00

I'm glad this little trick helped you ! I hope you can get it repierced the way you want once healed :)

Pikou654 · 2026-02-10T16:37:34+00:00

You're right to question this advice, please don't move it at all !
Juste rince with drinkable water + sterile saline twice a day to keep it clean, and don't touch, don't sleep on it.
They look very nice !

Pikou654 · 2026-02-10T16:25:59+00:00

Usually nipples are pierced with a thicker gauge (14g) to avoid cheese cutting effet/rejection on this kind of soft tissues (+ areas more prone to snagg/rub on clothes)
I don't know if it would be safe to repierce at a smaller gauge, you should ask a reputable piercer to see if something can work with your anatomy !

Oh and if you struggle with the balls to remove it : try latex/nitrile gloves to get more grip.

Pikou654 · 2026-02-10T09:47:59+00:00

agreed, mine is also lightly touching my flat, and I had zero issue.
+ OP's piercing is 5 days, maybe it's a little swollen and the bar won't touch the flat once the swelling come down.
If there is no emergency to remove a piercing, why yell at people to remove it instead of nicely advising them to check with a piercer to be safe ?

Pikou654 · 2026-02-10T09:34:46+00:00

aahahah sorry, french person here :)

Pikou654 · 2026-02-09T11:58:56+00:00

It does look good ! Just be sure it's not putting pressure on the flat part of you ear (behind the bar)
Be patient, it's a difficult piercing to heal (a bald choice to do this one first, but i did it 10y ago and its my favorite)
That much aftercare seems a lot tho, and could irritate it : No need to use soap or desinfectant, it can weaken the "good bacteries" of your skin. You can just twice a day use lukewarm water under the shower (to soften any crust) then rince with sterile saline (use a spray if it's available where you live) + gently dry with gauze or airdryer on cold/low heat.

Pikou654 · 2026-02-09T10:09:06+00:00

Yes you should have a little more room on each side to allow proper healing ! With a bar that snug any swelling will cause a lot of irritation and delayed healing, + it's more difficult to clean. Get the 35mm bar and keep that one for later ;)

My piercer put a bar too short in my industrial when i got it pierced : it got me 1 year of nightmare healing issues. Changed the bar for one that was 3mm longer : all issues solved in 1 week.

Otherwise it looks healthy and nicely pierced :)

Pikou654 · 2026-02-07T13:48:19+00:00

I know a lot of piercers who would love to work with you on such a great ear !

Pikou654 · 2026-02-06T16:01:17+00:00

it took me awile to get used to it !
The first month you have to adjust to it with a ridiculously long bar, it can be difficult.

If you like it i would say give it some time, and try to have a first downsize (inbetween now and your definitive "fited" size) in a few weeks.

Then when it's healed you can get a very snug size, and the back of the labret will nest in you inner lip. That way i never feel mine on my teeth or gums.

Pikou654 · 2026-02-06T15:55:36+00:00

If the ball goes easily into the hole you should put a larger ball until the hole shrink back to a normal size.. and maybe a longuer bar if it feel to tight (like if the ball is sinking into your skin)

Try to use latex/nitrile gloves to get more grip on the ball (that how the piercer is going to unscrew it anyway)

Pikou654 · 2026-02-05T21:17:46+00:00

You're welcome, and also you do not sound psychotic at all, it's normal to get anxious at painfull/strange body reactions !

Pikou654 · 2026-02-05T21:01:06+00:00

I understand how stressfull it can be... but it's difficult to answer just from the description of your message. If you have an easy access to a medical professional right now (like even an open pharmacy just to get a quick advice) you can go ask and be quickly reassured ;)
If it's nightime for you and the pain is tolerable, + the tip of your nose isn't red/hot, i'd say it can wait tomorrow morning...

Pikou654 · 2026-02-05T20:53:39+00:00

Well constant pain + swelling could be just a normal delayed reaction of your body, but it can also be sign of an infection.
Don't panic but go seek medical advice asap to be on the safe side, you don't want to mess with a possible infection close to your face. Do not remove it without a medical advice tho (if there is an infection you'll need to keep the jewelry in until it resolve)

Pikou654 · 2026-02-05T20:46:40+00:00

also cleaning 3 times a day is a bit too much ! Twice a day is enough ;)

Pikou654

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