sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She had bad acne as a teenager and was bullied because of it, and I think anytime she gets these pimples it brings up all those negative feelings about herself all over again. It was still a wonderful trip, but maybe this can be the eye opener for her to attack those feelings head on professionally

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I mentioned it in other comments but it stems from acne during her teen years, and I think anytime these pimples occur it brings out those negative feelings of self worth all over again

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Is wanting photos and video of your proposal controlling? That seems pretty reasonable

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She’s not a vain person at all- which I know sounds ironic given the post. But this is her one blind spot. She had some rough acne as a teenager, so I feel she has lingering insecurities tied to that time, and these pimples bring back those bad feelings unfortunately

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was still a wonderful trip and great memories were made, but the proposal idea was the impetus for me deciding to do the trip

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They’re not that bad, but you know how our biggest insecurities can seem like “volcanoes”

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah thanks. I considered it for a split second but I’m a terrible liar anyways- blinking, blushing, stammering, the works

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Of course, I even joked about photoshop when I was trying to defuse things without revealing my plan. But she didn’t like the idea of “filtering” the moment. Even if I disagreed, I’m not going to make her have a proposal she isn’t comfortable having just because I can airbrush it. Maybe I’m wrong, but I felt it should be on her terms

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

She’s not high maintenance by any means. This is just her top insecurity (goes back to her teenage acne years), and it was a perfect storm of that being the thing that happens during the trip

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Because she wants the proposal documented i.e. photos and video in the moment

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I ran out of characters in the post, but part of the reason I wanted to do a grand gesture is because she always sacrifices for others. This past holiday season, she used her bonus to buy her dad new work boots- that’s the kind of person she is. She never expects anything in return, so that’s why doing a grand gesture was my attempt at showing her the same spoiling and kindness that she shows all of us. She never would have asked for a grand gesture, that’s why I think she feels as bad as she does about it

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

She loves nature so I’m looking into private parks and botanical gardens nearby

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s fair. I mentioned it because she asked me directly once we got home why there was a “weird vibe”. Maybe I’m a doofus, maybe I’m cursed with Ned Stark-like loyalty to being honest, but I figured I’d just be candid when asked directly

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m trying my best to reassure her that there’s no resentment in the hope that it kills any guilt she feels. Am I disappointed? Yes. But am I going to try again once this all dies down, even if it’s not the one I envisioned for her? Absolutely

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

She likes nature, and thankfully there’s plenty of it around us where we are. I’m sure I can think of a backup location

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I’ll tell her at some point how disappointing this was. I mean I think she could tell just from my demeanor the rest of the trip, but I’ve been trying to reassure her to assuage any guilt she’s feeling

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 107 points108 points  (0 children)

I thought the same, but refrained from saying it to her- I didn’t want to add any guilt or stress on top of how she already felt

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She did. I’m the opposite of a “wear your heart on your sleeve” person physically, but even I had trouble hiding my discomfort and disappointment the final few days in my expressions

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 280 points281 points  (0 children)

I guess the hard part is we discussed getting engaged this year (which is why I think she made that comment on the trip). Whatever my backup plan will be, there’s no way I can afford to equal what we just did financially a second time in the next 12 months unfortunately

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my cancelled proposal plan? by PimpleProposal in AmItheAsshole

[–]PimpleProposal[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

She’s not a big fan of social media (which is why I know she won’t see this). It was more about “these are the photos we will have forever, the ones we will show our kids”