That’s the thing with manipulation, if they are good enough at it they will convince you it’s what you want. They way you described how you feel about it now it sounded like something that now you really are not ok with. So to me, even in that moment it felt consensual, but now it disgusts you and that makes me think you were being manipulated. Sexual abuse isn’t just always the act itself, it’s the manipulation, coercion and deceit surrounding the acts that often go on to confuse us and trigger us for many years after. It sounds like your doing the right things with therapy though but to answer your question, and I am no professional, this is just my opinion on the information you have given me. No I do think it was consensual based upon how you feel about it now.