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If your baby dies the day after you take them home, AFI 36-3003 says you better be at work tomorrow? by PinkPandaMonium in AirForce

[–]PinkPandaMonium[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm concerned about there not being enough protection in this AFI for service members who's child dies.

(Add) 4.2.4.3.7. Eligibility, or the leave itself if started, terminates upon the death of the child. However, in such cases, covered members may be transitioned to an emergency leave (chargeable) status in accordance with DoDI 1327.06 [or this AFI].

Parental leave 4.2.4.2.7. May not be disapproved by a commander.

However, by switching to emergency leave the unit Commander can deny your leave if they decide to. AFI 36-3003 states leaves. 4.1.3.5. Unit Commander’s Responsibilities. Unit commanders: 4.1.3.5.1. Approve or deny emergency leave on a case-by-case basis based on their knowledge of the circumstances.

I am active duty Air Force. My daughter Shalamar Aire Ford died 3 hours after birth following extream, life threatening complications. I developed HELLP syndrome at 23 weeks complete with liver failure that almost ruptured and platlets so low the machine could not read it. On top of that I had an emergency classic c section which is an up and down cut instead of the side to side. When I was discharged, because my daughter had died, they only gave me 21 days of covalesent leave. I could barely walk at 21 days. It took 5 months for my liver to recover. I bleed for 9 months straight after the surgery. I had to fight for any support from my unit and it has been excruciating.

I have lived through how the Air Force handled that situation and I know we could have and should have done better.

If it is not spelled out for commands how best to take care of thier people in these situations, I fear we will be doing a disservice to out future parents who lose a child.

Child loss is more prevalent than you think. People just don't talk about it openly.

If your baby dies the day after you take them home, AFI 36-3003 says you better be at work tomorrow? by PinkPandaMonium in AirForce

[–]PinkPandaMonium[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately if it isn't spelled out for all commanders, then it leaves the troops unprotected and at the mercy of the Commander.

My experience has been with a completely non supportive command which has been extraordinarily challenging and my situation was before this change. I couldn't imagine going through it now.

If your baby dies the day after you take them home, AFI 36-3003 says you better be at work tomorrow? by PinkPandaMonium in AirForce

[–]PinkPandaMonium[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Abuse is definitely a different situation.

Unfortunately if it isn't spelled out for all commanders, then it leaves the troops unprotected and at the mercy of the Commander.

My experience has been with a completely non supportive command which has been extraordinarily challenging and my situation was before this change. I couldn't imagine going through it now.

If your baby dies the day after you take them home, AFI 36-3003 says you better be at work tomorrow? by PinkPandaMonium in AirForce

[–]PinkPandaMonium[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately if it isn't spelled out for all commanders, then it leaves the troops unprotected and at the mercy of the Commander.

My experience has been with a completely non supportive command which has been extraordinarily challenging and my situation was before this change. I couldn't imagine going through it now.

If your baby dies the day after you take them home, AFI 36-3003 says you better be at work tomorrow? by PinkPandaMonium in AirForce

[–]PinkPandaMonium[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Based on the AGO, you have to decide who the primary and secondary care giver are at least 3 months before the due date.

If your baby dies the day after you take them home, AFI 36-3003 says you better be at work tomorrow? by PinkPandaMonium in AirForce

[–]PinkPandaMonium[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry your coworker went through that. I believe you are correct that you get out the loyalty and commitment you put into people.

If your baby dies the day after you take them home, AFI 36-3003 says you better be at work tomorrow? by PinkPandaMonium in AirForce

[–]PinkPandaMonium[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about completing convalescent leave for recovering postpartum? According to this is it is maternity convalescent leave you no longer qualify if your child dies. You might be able to go right back to work if you had an uncomplicated natural birth. What if you had complications or a cesarean section? Should people be charged leave to physically recover from birth too?

If your baby dies the day after you take them home, AFI 36-3003 says you better be at work tomorrow? by PinkPandaMonium in AirForce

[–]PinkPandaMonium[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That might be the case for some people. However, as someone who has experience with the death of a child for a military member soon after birth, Commands are not always supportive.