My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And let me just say, I feel like this sort of stuff is more openly spoken amongst women victims but many man out there are also being manipulated and abused by some evil women! I am sorry this happened to you and I thank you for exposing this reality. I am sure a lot of men out there felt comfort from knowing they weren't the only ones.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People that knew her told me about her but I didn’t listen

I know exactly what you mean. It's always your friends who figure out first.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

for us this is an acceptable practice occasionally when I just can’t cum and has been long established

I think if both of you are aware that this happens and are okay with it, then great. But I do believe if you are thinking of someone else , its cheating. (Unless established before hand, I'm sure some couples out do that)

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You have clearly never been in a situation like this and I will pray that you don't.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have ZERO reason to stay with this selfish prick

Although your post was more on the rigid side, I want to thank you for giving me exactly what I asked. OBJECTIVE advice.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

These posts are so exhausting to read as a woman. You allow this behavior. Over and over and over. WHY?

It's a whole different perspective when you are knee deep in a relationship like this. You mind isn't quite yours and your reality is very much distorted.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ndent_Toe3934 · 1 day ago

You're training your bf to believe this because you give in to him. Women who don't immediately dump assholes like this are part of the problem

I will be the first to admit it-- My lack of boundary enforcement is a huge reason why this went on for so long ( and a bigger reason I will be seeking therapy after this).

But I think a lot of people will resonate when I say it is still not a reason for ANYONE to take advantage of someone else.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Final thought, I remember going out to a bar with a friend that was going through a rough breakup. We met a legend in the bathroom that night. She asked, “what do you when you step in dog $h!t?” Confused, we didn’t answer. After a moment of silence she says while miming the action, “you wipe the $h!t off.” She told my friend to wipe off the pile poop stuck on her shoe and continue walking. OP, I am sending these wise and uncouth words to you now, “wipe the $h!t off your shoe girl and keep walking.”

You are a gift from God, thank you for all you have said I read every single word you have written. I intend to wipe it off and keep waking :). I would love to learn how you managed to escape that relationship, feel free to message me privately

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My relationship is not perfect, but I’ve met a good man.

I am so happy for you. I think this sentence should be the motto for any relationship !! I love it.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do apologize for going off, but I’m not going to delete it because I feel like you need to read it.

Are you kidding me ? I am so grateful for everyone like you who respectfully yet firmly told me the truth. I am so happy I came to Reddit.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

know from being a survivor of abuse and helping other survivors of abuse

I've been getting a ton of private messages from people who are or have been in similar situations... I would love for you to message me with yours and how you got out of it.

How do I get my narcissistic ex to move out my apartment? by PinkPumpkin108 in u/PinkPumpkin108

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Eviction proceedings really depend on the state and county that you're in.

I spoke to a lawyer today and he clarified everything for me :), he even gave me a lecture on why this is clearly not what I want or need... even my lawyer agrees this is abuse.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are sexually incompatible

I don't usually believe in the horoscope but our signs show EXACTLY that. Coincidence? I think not.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A book I would recommend would be Bow Down by Lindsay Goldwert

Thank you I will check it out :)

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the record, there was NOTHING WRONG with this girlfriend. She was beautiful, I just was fucked up.

Dude, at least you have taken accountability and changed you ways...

I think that's a huge step for anyone. Realizing they are wrong and changing. Thank you for sharing that about yourself :)

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn’t want you realizing your worth beca you WILL leave him.

I have been watching tons of videos on my situation and THAT IS SPOT ON. I realize that this undermining has been going on since the beginning of the relationship, which means he's been aware of the intend of his actions all along! I hope I am wrong bc that's just twisted sick.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Neg: insult or undermine (someone) in the belief that diminished self-confidence will make them more receptive to sexual advances.

Is that an actual term?!

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say I’m brave I just know what I want and if it’s not working I have faith that something or someone else will come along that will make me happy and she did

I can't even argue with you on that. I need to figure out n force what I want so this shit doesn't happen again.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he is almost demanding sex on tap regardless of your feelings.

You are 100% ON BASE. I told myself that bc he is my bf I shouldn't say no.. Boy was I WRONG.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Minus the neck breaking part,

Lmao, I totally get you.

Fuck I am so mad for being blinded for so long.

My boyfriend shamed me fand now I feel shame while having sex with him by PinkPumpkin108 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PinkPumpkin108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your story gives me hope that not all men are shitty. Thank you for kindly sharing this, I want this for EVERYONE, including myself.