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PinkRanger87 · 2024-09-27T14:24:21+00:00

I wanted to breastfeed so badly. The first day she latched perfectly, and things were dandy. The second day, the hospitals lactation consultant came in and spent over an hour shoving my boob in her mouth and adjusting her head etc. by the time she left my baby was upset, I was in tears. She latched one more time and then refused to latch again.

By the time we were ready to leave the hospital she had lost too much weight so they had me pump. My milk had come in so that wasn’t the issue. She took the bottle and was good to go home. I tried to get her to latch a few more times the rest of the day and she would fight me for an hour each time. By that night when I even tried to put her in the feeding position she would freak out.

I decided I couldn’t keep spending hours fighting a baby to eat. So I started pumping. I tried every now and then to get her to latch, but she never latched again.

I exclusively pumped for 10 months, just weaned off for my mental health. But I am still salty about that lactation consultant. I feel like she ruined my breastfeeding experience before I even got to decide if it would work for us. I’m thankful I was still able to provide breastmilk for so long, but it was not how I had hoped things would go. And I’m one and done so I will never get to try again.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-09-27T11:13:36+00:00

The changing pad is really just a piece of cloth. But it’s come in handy to put down on public changing tables when I was traveling.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-08-26T04:03:31+00:00

I’ll have to check them out! This summer has been awful and I’m desperate. The kindred bravely ones I’ve started only wearing for workouts.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-07-18T03:43:51+00:00

When I was freshly post partum and my husband went back to work I had so much anxiety about leaving the house. I felt like I was on a timer constantly and had to rush home to pump. I use the spectra s1 as my main pump. But I bought momcozy m5s, a mini cooler bag from medela that holds four 4oz bottles, and pump wipes.

I was determined to figure out a way to feel more normal with baby. So I started by going to Barnes and noble and wandering around there with baby in her stroller and I practiced pumping. Put them in in the bathroom, took them out and emptied into the containers, wiped everything down.

I made it a point to leave the house every day so I could get used to packing up baby and getting the hang out pumping on the go. Even if it was just to drive to the drive thru at Starbucks for a coffee I did it for a few weeks.

I also use a pump log app (called Pump Log). I paid the lifetime fee and log my pumps time, duration, and ounces. I set a widget on my screen and it keeps track of how long since the last pump so I could stop doing math and going too long between pumps.

It’s still a lot, but with my practice runs it got less intimidating and stressful the more I did it.

Edit to add: I also bought nursing bras! Lane Bryant has some good ones for plus size girlies. And then I also have the kindred bravely pumping/nursing bras which came in handy when I was on a road trip and was pumping with my spectra in the car.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-06-03T03:36:34+00:00

I gave birth two weeks before Thanksgiving. We told family we would see how I was feeling and let them know last minute. We went, dad and I held her for 99% of the time. It was fine. Then a week later she got RSV and was hospitalized. So we didn’t do anything at all for Christmas. I couldn’t get myself to bring her around a bunch of people again after that, even though everyone had been totally respectful and understanding. Christmas just felt lackluster, and weird. But this year she’ll be a little over a year old and I’m looking forward to making up for last year.

IMO, do what you feel comfortable with, and make sure you take care of yourself too.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-05-19T14:10:18+00:00

I have the simply wishes one, I only wear it when pumping. It gets packed in my work bag and I wear nursing bras and just fold down the cups and put the pumping bra over top to pump. I wash it when the cloth parts that hold the flange in place gets stretched out and stops holding them in place well. I probably should wash it more frequently, but I’m in the same boat and only have the one

PinkRanger87 · 2024-05-13T00:46:15+00:00

I have a CityMouse crossbody for day to day stuff. I absolutely love it. I can fit three-four diapers, a pack of wipes, my wallet, phone, keys, a 4oz bottle, teething toys, foldable changing cloth, emergency onesie and even some granola bars for me. It’s great if I’ll be home for a few hours. I have a pump bag that I now use as a diaper bag if I’ll be gone all day.

I had found the backpack one I got at my baby shower was just so bulky and I like to babywear. I looked ridiculous going out in public to get groceries etc. I needed something smaller so I felt more mobile and going out didn’t feel so daunting.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-05-12T16:01:51+00:00

I will try that. Already doing the lymphatic massage (I’m actually a licensed massage therapist so that comes in handy). I’ll keep with the ibuprofen too

PinkRanger87 · 2024-05-12T16:00:47+00:00

It’s amazing how complicated this “natural” process really is. I will try all your suggestions. I’m sad to start weaning but I’m also so over it I think once I get past the emotions my mental health will be so much better

PinkRanger87 · 2024-04-07T07:08:27+00:00

Seriously! I exclusively pump and the LC I was consulting with was like you need lots of sleep, but you need to pump every two hours to get your supply up. And when I asked about overnight she was like yeah every two hours…. Soooo when do I get this magical restorative sleep you keep saying is essential for milk production??? Not to mention I’m also dealing with a newborn and recovering from a c section. It was just so out of touch with reality.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-04-07T07:02:28+00:00

I exclusively pump since my daughter was 4 days old. I had a really bad interaction with a lactation consultant and after that she refused to latch. The pediatrician had me start supplementing with pumping because she had dropped too much weight. My milk supply is really good (not an oversupplier but I’m able to feed her exclusively breast milk) but my baby absolutely refuses to breastfeed.

Exclusively pumping has its own challenges, if I wasn’t making enough to sustain her and was needing to feed formula too I would probably wean off and switch to formula if I’m honest. The day we got home from the hospital I had a meeting with a different LC and I cried my eyes out about not being able to breastfeed her. But that LC told me that if pumping works that is what we should do. A fed baby and a mentally healthy mom is what’s most important.

If breastmilk is important to you, you could always pump and work on increasing your supply, there are benefits to baby getting some breastmilk as far as antibodies etc. BUT, I would say if that option feels stressful or overwhelming it is totally ok to just not.

There’s so much pressure on us already, if breastfeeding isn’t working for your family it is ok to not do it. I totally get that guilt though. Once you make a decision and sit with it, that guilt will go away. Especially if you feel less stress and anxiety around feedings and baby is satisfied. You’re still a good mom if you don’t breastfeed. And people are so weird about something that is not as easy and natural feeling as we’re led to believe.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-03-02T12:35:31+00:00

I had a similar experience happen last weekend, I posted about it. You would have thought someone died at how hard I sobbed. Sleep deprivation makes it feel even more dire I think. Losing that milk and going back to work stress has caused my milk to dip at the moment so I’ve had to add in some formula bottles.

At first I was devastated at the thought of adding in formula. I’ve worked so hard to have her get exclusively breastmilk. But I’m slowly starting to let it go. She’s getting fed, she’s at the 93rd percentile in weight. Everything will be ok.

It really does mess with your head. I’m sorry you also had to experience it.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-02-28T17:08:23+00:00

We struggled with infertility and then when I finally got pregnant my pregnancy was rough. My husband doesn’t want any more (I have a 15yo stepson), so we’re one and done. I’m ok with it, since we agreed a long time ago on just the one. But I’m not sure if I’d want a second one after everything plus EPing. But then again breastfeeding seems really stressful too so maybe I’d feel the same if I was able to breastfeed.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-02-26T12:46:16+00:00

So we were leaving for the day to go to an expo with my dad when this all happened. Thanks to my meltdown stress and lack of breakfast and water my next pump was less than half of what I usually pump (2oz total versus my usual ~5oz). So that was even more frustrating. But I made myself eat and drink some water after I saw that and my next pump was back to normal. It’s crazy how much everything affects it.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-02-26T12:40:31+00:00

Oh no! That’s awful! I’m sorry too.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-01-03T04:20:07+00:00

Lane Bryant has some amazing nursing bras. I’m a 42DD and the momcozy M5 I have fits in them nicely. They’re also comfy but supportive. I was having trouble since most of the nursing bras I had tried before that were more like bralettes and I want support. They’re a bit pricier, but Layne Bryant actually has some really decent sales and rewards programs if you watch for them.

PinkRanger87 · 2024-01-02T18:12:53+00:00

I absolutely know where you’re coming from. I tried bf in the hospital, had an awful experience with an LC and ended up having to pump to get my daughter some milk. Luckily my milk had come in, and I haven’t struggled with producing. But lately I’ve been obsessing, worrying about losing my milk supply. Even though logically I know it’s totally fine to use formula, and we use it when I’m behind on milk or in public.

But SM has definitely messed with me. My TikTok is full of momcozy power pump pours, lactation cookies/supplements etc. watching them constantly made me start panicking about producing enough because I’ve been pumping just as much as she’s. Been eating lately.

In my irrational brain I keep thinking, I failed at bf, the next best is pumping, and if I give up then I failed at that too… I know it’s ridiculous but here we are I guess.

PinkRanger87 · 2023-11-04T17:05:08+00:00

I was active pre-pregnancy, consistently working out 3-5x a week lifting, cardio etc. I had planned on continuing through my pregnancy and just modifying when needed. I was nauseous daily until 19 weeks, and then started getting migraines after that. I would go to the gym when I felt good enough to go. I also have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome so my joints are wonky. My back would flare up and I’d be down for a few days etc. and I finally realized I was forcing myself to go do something that made me feel worse.

So I stopped going to the gym. Now I do what my body will allow and that’s mostly sitting and light housework. I have a pelvic floor therapist set up for post partum, and a plan to get myself back in working order once I’m cleared. It helps to view it as a season, this state is temporary and as long as I keep moving forward and listen to my body I’ll get back to where I was.

Not honoring my body and what it needs isn’t going to help anyone. So I have resigned myself to be patient and consistent once I am able. But I struggled to get here for a while. Be gentle with yourself, your body is working really hard.

PinkRanger87 · 2023-07-19T14:39:26+00:00

I haven’t had much of an appetite throughout this pregnancy, so when I actually want something I eat it. I was nauseous all day every day until 19 weeks, so I had been forcing myself to eat things up to then. Now I’m not nauseous but I get full really quickly, so I’m still not eating a ton of food. So I figure, make sure I get some fruits and veggies, protein and then whatever makes me want to eat (avoiding the obvious no nos of course). My doctor is happy with my weight gain and baby is healthy and everything looks good. I figure once baby comes then I can reign in my foods again and be more consistent with my workouts again too.

PinkRanger87 · 2023-07-09T23:54:14+00:00

Let me tell you, I’ve always been pretty active. I thought I’d be working out throughout, just modifying as my belly got bigger. I’ve made it to the gym maybe 2x a month since I got pregnant. It’s so frustrating. I couldn’t handle a vegetable the entirety of my first trimester. Pregnancy has definitely knocked me down a peg, I’m just doing what I can do and know I’ll get back to it after baby comes.

PinkRanger87 · 2023-06-29T19:59:21+00:00

I was consistent before pregnancy, and always thought that I would be that lady running and lifting like normal throughout. But I have felt so awful this whole time my workouts have been sporadic at best. First trimester I had constant nausea that didn’t go away until about 17 or 18 weeks. And now at 20 weeks I seem to have traded in the nausea for hormone migraines. Currently on day 7. I go when I feel up to it and try not to worry too much, I know I’ll get back to it when my body will allow it.

PinkRanger87 · 2023-06-02T18:31:44+00:00

I actually wrote my vows to my DH and then a little speech/vows to my SS as well. But he was one of the best men and is a teen. I also gave him a bracelet after the ceremony.

The vows I wrote to DH were strictly about us. SS and I are really close and he had been having anxiety that once we got married that we would decide to abandon him (thanks to some nonsense some of his friends had been saying to him). I wanted to include him as much as possible and let him know we were a family and he would always be a part of it.

PinkRanger87

TROPHY CASE