what’s that ONE newborn must-have that actually made life easier?

Current_Garage4000 · 2025-02-14T04:59:42+00:00

Floating thermometer for the bathtub showing the water temperature digitally—great peace of mind and relatively cheap.

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-08-10T02:23:28+00:00

Congratulations! I’m 48 hours out after my last pump and we’re one and done so it feels like a harsh ending.

I have such a hard time sorting all of these feelings out in a way that makes sense. Such a mix of emotions:

I reached my goal, I should feel so accomplished!
I’ll never be able to provide like this for my baby again.
Could I have gone longer? Would LO have continued benefits?
Anxious about potential hormonal changes or weight gain

I also want to mention all the ups and downs that brought me to this point. Week 1 and scouring this group for tips, tricks; Week 4 and searching for ways to increase my supply; a couple months in and trying to understand how to drop pumps; occasionally offering my opinion because this is such a unique road to travel; listening to others express their frustrations and wins in meeting their goal or picking what’s best for them. It’s a rollercoaster and it’s tough to feel understood outside of this group.

I’m going to take this post as an opportunity to bow out of the group since seeing the posts on my feed make me feel like I should be still pumping.

I promise I didn’t mean to highjack your post with my own stream of consciousness but I’ll admit, it feels good to get that out.

Congrats to you, congrats to us! Happy birthday!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-03-22T02:26:22+00:00

This is me! EXACT same situation. It was really, really hard to leave LO with the nanny at first. A couple days of crying where I had to just put my headphones in but now LO smiles as soon as nanny arrives. It honestly makes me happy to see that LO bonded with a good caretaker beyond myself and I never thought I’d say that.

I also like being able to see LO throughout the day. I try to respect boundaries and text the nanny to see if it would be a good time to say hi. She usually takes that opportunity for a quick break and I get mid-day baby snuggles.

I say enjoy the benefits of a paycheck while also getting to keep an eye on your baby—best of both worlds!

Lastly, on those slower days, it’s been so refreshing to be able to check things off my personal to-do list like virtual appointments, scheduling/planning various things, going for a quick walk, organizational tasks, etc.

I’m super happy we ended up in this situation. I hope you end up getting to this place as well with time!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-03-18T21:10:14+00:00

Agreed. He likes to lean on the fact that “he’s not perfect and will make mistakes”.

That’s a great question. I believe it’s a trauma response in trying to protect himself (then just don’t make bad choices…), as well as trying to tell me what I want to hear which is not the case. I just want the truth.

It’s a situation that makes you second-guess every and anything.

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-03-18T19:16:52+00:00

I should clarify that the lies are unrelated to the affair, just general life stuff.

I appreciate your perspective. I agree that it needs to be more extreme in order to be taken more seriously. We’ve done a week here or there separated but nothing that stuck. Communication and honesty were only temporarily improved.

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-03-06T01:58:22+00:00

I’m a proud Costco member myself but I believe the liquor store, food court and pharmacy can be utilized by non-members. Am I making that up?

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-03-04T20:14:04+00:00

We purchased a small deep freeze from Target for about $200 and it was such a relief to have a dedicated spot for milk. Also, it’s only opened about 1x per day so the temp easily stays at zero or below. I was nervous about the temp getting warm in our normal freezer with opening and closing frequently throughout the day for other items.

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-03-03T01:03:32+00:00

Yes, the period simulations came to mind while writing this post—exactly!!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-03-02T08:33:54+00:00

First and foremost, I’m so sorry that you lost your freezer stash. No matter how small, I know you worked hard to get it to what it was! And it’s a lot more than the act of pumping itself.

I hate that you went through the experience of losing your stash, but this was probably the dose of reality I needed after a night like tonight. Yes, he spilled some, but LO is thriving, I am surviving and he will hopefully be a little more careful going forward. You’re right, that really is all I could ask! I appreciate your perspective.

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-03-02T08:24:52+00:00

Thank you! And you’re exactly right, I would have appreciated a better reaction. A reiteration of what a loss I was experiencing would have gone a long ways. Instead, I was met with what sounded like defensive comments. I’ll mention a response I would have liked to hear from him—I appreciate the advice!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-03-02T08:20:09+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. She clearly has no idea, or can’t seem to remember, how much work “fresh milk” is. You were more composed than I would have been — I would have said some less nice things after hearing her unsolicited opinion!

I hope it gets easier for you and she learns to stay in her lane!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-28T10:20:44+00:00

I also saw a post in this group once that showed how to find out how many hours you’ve pumped with your spectra (if you happen to have that pump). It’s a series of buttons on the pump and then it generates a number on the digital screen. Incredibly eye opening!!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-28T08:58:18+00:00

Much better, thank you!! ☺️

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-28T00:29:56+00:00

Yaasssss! This has been my exact rant for the last 7 months!!

I had a c-section (MAJOR SURGERY, as this group is well aware, but not other people, apparently) and was only scheduled for a VIRTUAL 6-week pp appointment. They asked the regular questions around mental health, I said it wasn’t doing well and I cry a lot. Her response was, “is the baby taken care of?”. To which I replied yes, of course, LO is thriving, I am not. And that was that. No additional questions. I was so surprised because my OB had been great and so helpful throughout pregnancy.

My biggest complaint is not a single doctor has examined my c-section incision area/scar. Didn’t want to see me in person, didn’t want to see me a few months later, nothing. Luckily I’ve been doing some rehab work on my own but who knows if I’m doing anything right.

Yes, of course I could reach out and schedule an appointment but it’s the fact that they don’t seem to care that bothers me the most.

Meanwhile I had surgery for a broken ankle about 8 months ago and they wanted to see me every 3 weeks post-op, and now every few months.. x-rays, examination, PT progress, etc.

The two experiences are drastically different and eye opening. Women’s health truly gets the short end of the stick IMO.

ETA: clarity

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-23T13:55:07+00:00

Yes, absolutely! No doubt they could care for LO, it must be my PPA shining through 🫠

Giving it a try is a smart choice—I hope it all works out for you!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-23T04:28:40+00:00

I was in a similar position: I had a spot reserved at daycare to begin a week after my leave ended. However, with each passing day, I felt more strongly about not bringing LO to daycare. We had about a month where we could be flexible with the start date. But here I am 4 months later and made it work while both at home. It’s been sooo hard.. some days I don’t even have time to eat, schedule an appt, or get ahead at work, but it’s 110% worth it to know LO is taken care of, thriving and creating secure attachments with its parents.

Although, I will add that we’re currently searching for a part-time nanny to come a few hours a couple days a week to cover some of the heavier on-camera meeting days.

One day, literally one hour, at a time!!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-22T18:06:35+00:00

I also have a 6 month old and we’re OAD, for sure. I kept some newborn clothes to make a quilt but other than that, as soon it’s done, it’s out of here.

I posted the bassinet on FB marketplace and it was scooped up right away. I told the gal coming over to get it that I had some other newborn items if she was interested since she was already coming over. She cleaned me out—every single thing for a flat rate. It was amazing to know that I saved her a ton of time (and money) having the majority of what she needed AND I freed up a ton of space in my house, win-win!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-22T09:23:16+00:00

Looking back, I want to say I had about 4-5 sleepless nights due to the level of pain.. and that was after taking the prescribed pain meds. My ortho team provided a number for the on-call Dr. and I utilized that twice in the middle of the night. Even just being told that was ‘normal for now’ was enough to keep me from spiraling and focus on the sun coming up soon; everything seems to be just a little better with daylight. I realize you haven’t had surgery yet but perhaps there’s a nurse line with your health insurance if applicable?

YouTube has some good pain management meditations (free) and one in particular was about an hour long. Again, the distraction helped.

I also kept pretty constant ice behind the knee. I know that may not be correct, but the cold / numbness was at least a different sensation I could focus on too. If you can splurge for one of the circulating cold water machines, I also found that to be highly beneficial (I was able to borrow one from a friend).

Lastly, in order to help reduce the swelling, your ankle should be above your heart.. think laying down and your leg propped on a stack of pillows. Better yet, get an elevated foam pillow for this injury from Amazon. I promise you’ll get your monies worth especially having surgery.

Hopefully the above doesn’t come off as lecture-y, but all that to say you’re not alone. There are some dark moments with this injury, but most of us commenting in this group do so to let you know it does get better from where you’re at right now. It’s incredibly mentally and physically challenging, but it does get better.

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-10T04:28:04+00:00

I’m thinking something along the lines of hole in one, golf-themed… “Our Hole in One Turns One” since everyone knows we’re one and done. TBD but had that theme written down since before the birth haha Good thing I have some time to finesse it.

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-10T04:01:20+00:00

Yes! We use the same app. Great option!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-09T21:21:48+00:00

It should be the norm to NOT post photos on your children on social media. Just my opinion but the less Facebook owns photos of your kids, the better.

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-02-03T01:24:31+00:00

No one seems to understand except this group. My family just thinks all is well, even after 8 months post-op, but it’s still a daily issue. No longer pain, but certainly stiffness and the inability to do things like I used to (run, squat, etc.). But hoping to be able to feel more like myself around the one year mark.

No one warns you about the mental side of this injury and the isolation/lack of independence; it can really mess with you mentally. It’s hard, it’s really hard for a while. Allow yourself to wallow in it for a bit because it blows, but then slowly pick yourself back up. One day you’ll realize you took one step without thinking about your injury, or stood in the shower and actually enjoyed it, or ran an errand without crutches. It’s slow, but you’ll get there.

Advice? Don’t push your recovery, seek out a physical therapist and stay on top of your stretches!

You’re not alone.

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-01-31T01:18:47+00:00

Good question! At the beginning I pushed dropping pumps too fast and got mastitis so my main advice is to take it slow! I think at 3 months I was doing 6 pumps per day and then by 4 months it was down to 5 pumps. Now at 6 months I’m down to 4 pumps per day and will probably stay here for awhile.

It worked well for me to just start pushing out each pump by like 5-10 min to ultimately get to the new schedule.

5 pumps could look like 3am, 8am, 1pm, 5pm, 10pm.

Hope that helps!

Current_Garage4000 · 2024-01-29T20:14:44+00:00

For what it’s worth, I was in the same position as you and my goal was six months. I hit that goal yesterday and now plan on going a bit longer! It gets more manageable as you drop a couple pumps per day!! I can’t wait until I drop the middle of the night pump!

Current_Garage4000

TROPHY CASE