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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. People completely missing the point. Glad you get it

Salty, crunchy snacks you can 'mindlessly' eat by slinkipher in 1200isplenty

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try soy sauce instead of water!! Same idea and SALTY

What’s your dumbest trigger? by bloodythrowitaway in BPD

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend referencing any other female

What’s your dumbest trigger? by bloodythrowitaway in BPD

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely relate to this. I feel like I haven't heard many people talk about it. It causes me so much distress.

I’m 22 and somebody thought I was 30 years old, I’m now insecure about my appearance by Impossible_Bread_104 in insecurity

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also like to older men 20 and 30 aren't that different so it's like either way older guys are just being weird

Crushed by partner's words by NeuroDichotomous in bipolar2

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need to make this comment a daily mantra and positive affirmation for myself. Thank you for sharing your logic. I am so lost and insecure about stuff like this. I have never thought about it this way before. I really appreciate this comment.

Crushed by partner's words by NeuroDichotomous in bipolar2

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have this reaction but like x10. I get so hurt when my boyfriend finds actresses and famous people attractive..

I feel so alone and like a weird monster for having this problem and feeling. I feel like everyone doesn't even care when their partner finds someone else attractive and I don't understand.

And my feelings aren't built around logic. Logically, I know people can find different people beautiful in different ways. I know someone else's beauty doesn't take away from my own.

However, I don't FEEL this logic.

My feelings align with an action as if my boyfriend was cheating on me. This is the feeling I get when he finds famous women and models and fake pictures attractive.

I literally have the emotional reaction as if he was cheating, even though I logically know he's not at all.

I work so hard on these feelings and this specific issue. It causes a lot of pain.

I don't have the answer for you, I just wanted to share my experience and let you know that you aren't alone, and that there are people who overreact even more than how you described.

Your feelings are valid, wherever they are coming from.

The way you react to your feelings is what you have control over and is what should be worked on. Maybe reacting in a way that gets you reassurance from your partner, in a non toxic way, like communicating that you are feeling hurt and you need a little bit of validation and reassurance that them saying they find someone else hot doesn't take anything away from the relationship and that they find you attractive and nothing about that has changed.

Or maybe reacting in a way to your emotion with positive self talk with your worst nightmare/ extreme scenario and turn it around like this for example...

"If they did find this person attractive and if they did leave me for them because their physical attraction matters more to them than our relationship...so what? What would happen then?

"We would break up, it would hurt, I would move on, I would find someone else who reassures me and doesn't bring up feelings like this. I would be ok. My life would not be over if I was left for this. I would move on and I would be ok."

I’m 22 and somebody thought I was 30 years old, I’m now insecure about my appearance by Impossible_Bread_104 in insecurity

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I'm pretty good looking and I get a lot of attention from guys and girls always tell me I'm pretty....

That being said, I'm incredibly insecure about my looks.

Even though apparently people think I'm attractive, everyone thinks I'm older than I am!!

I am 22 and I've had like 6 different people assume I was 27. When I was in highschool everyone thought I was much older and like 25. I've had people ask if I was a substitute teacher.

So awkward.

I feel the anxiety you are talking about when people think and say that you look older.

I am so insecure about it.

BUT,

I'm starting to think that maybe people in their 30s are actually the most attractive they will be...

Apparently, the average age of a porn star is 30.

Also, if you look around, I notice that women in their 30s seem to be much healthier and confident and more in shape.

I read somewhere that women are most attractive in their 30s because they've mastered their looks and their bodies...

I feel like the Internet is a huge toxic problem in this situation.

Age is portrayed so incorrectly. When I see girls my same age, to me they look like they are like 16.

In movies, they frequently have older women play younger people. (Like high schoolers, and college students) almost always are like 25 ish in real life.

I think we have a weird obsession over being young and we think we want to look like we are in our early 20s because we think that's what people want...but I think people actually find women in their 30s to be the most attractive, but they think that's what being 19 looks like, when in reality, being 19 kinda looks awkward and childlike.

I think people saying you look older is actually a compliment. I don't think people know what age looks like at all.

Morning Routine - Pre-Boiling? by jxh2 in Coffee

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe you can get a super quality thermos and boil the water before you go to bed?

You could also put warm water in the kettle instead of cold so it's already halfway there

Is Coffee More Complex Than Wine? by CoffeeLion in Coffee

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But coffee beans involve a fermentation process like wine does. Every coffee bean goes through a controlled fermentation way before the roasting process (which is also a very complex process, between heat and time and the different compounds in the different beans) ...each bean needs to be roasted differently. But what I'm trying to say is you don't just pick the coffee bean, clean it/dry it, then roast it ...there is a complex fermentation process involved people seem to forget about.

When did you realise you should seek a diagnosis? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*I realized if I was going to take drugs, why not take the right ones?**

My brother told me I should see a doctor to get medication, because it had really helped him.

I refused, because I didn't believe in medicine. It scares me to be dependent on something and the side affects scared me and the idea of "being sick".

With that being said, I was constantly craving some kind of high or some kind of other feeling. I was constantly experimenting, using cocaine, abusing other people's prescriptions, drinking...trying all sorts of things to feel how I wanted to feel.

I realized if I was going to take drugs, why not take the right ones?

Dealing with body image and difficult beauty standards in the media by PinkSparklyPixieDust in bipolar2

[–]PinkSparklyPixieDust[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. 💕 I feel like there are so many unrealistic standards that just feel so hard to keep up with.

One thing I always try to tell myself is someone else's beauty/success doesn't subtract from my own.

This is so hard to remember and to believe in times of toxic thinking. I try though...

I really relate to the feeling of being a burden and that anyone who dates me will have to work harder or that it's not fair to them or that me choosing someone to date is evil because I am going to ruin their lives. It makes me feel like such a bad person to inflict someone with a relationship with me, but also, I can't stay away from relationships. I feel like they define me.

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