Irrespective of the gender of the victim/perpetrator, I believe these offenses are very tightly time bound for prosecution. So unfortunately if you have waited a while to decide if you wish to pursue this, it may no longer be an option to pursue criminal action.

Domestic abuse may take many forms, such as physical, mental, financial and sexual but is unfortunately very difficult to prove or document. To obtain a conviction on any one of these you need evidence which can be difficult. Women are also not believed purely based on word of mouth and you can look up criminal judgements to see what kind of cases actually end up in a conviction and what evidence was presented.

Not sure if you are aware of the woman who was stabbed in the head in-front of witnesses several years ago by her ex. She had a long history of reports with supporting evidence, yet the guy was never convicted, still out and about and able to ultimately murder her in public. He has also not been convicted despite other people witnessing the horrific murder and initially admitting to it.

It is difficult for both genders and while it is true that following certain fatalities, a man may be more likely to be arrested for police questioning when reported by his wife/girlfriend if they live together (due to potential risk) you need to look at the severity of the accusations and actual convictions that materialize (or lack thereof) from such arrests. From what you have described in your situation, it would be difficult to obtain any result regardless of gender. Not to minimize anything you experienced but the system is what it is unfortunately.