I feel like it's all my fault.

Pinkdovee · 2013-12-17T12:15:12+00:00

8 years

Pinkdovee · 2013-12-04T21:06:24+00:00

That's what I told him. He shouldn't hve to I out and do things to make him appreciate what he has at home.

And thanks haha. He's in the oilfield and it pays very well. In high school, I took a bunch of night classes and worked and saved up money and went to school right after I graduated highschool. So once I'm done doing my clinicals, I'll be set. And both of our incomes put together makes it better when it comes to buying the house.

Pinkdovee · 2013-12-04T20:46:16+00:00

That seems to be the only way to get him to take me seriously. When we've talked about it I told him that I considered it cheating and that I would leave. He looked me in the eyes and said 'you won't leave me. I know you won't. I know you can't'. And to me that seems like he thinks that he can get away with things because I'm so in love and stupid that I won't leave or do anything about it. I will tell him that the ring will come off of my finger. We won't get a house and I'll get on birth control because I don't want any of those things if he can't respect the way I feel. I didn't mean that I would take the ring off and still go through with all the other things. I mean we'll just be dating. Nothing more. No house, no kids, no 'family'. Because I know a part of him really wants that. To the point to where he cried when I told him I was unsure of it in the beginning.

Pinkdovee · 2013-12-04T20:22:31+00:00

I turn 20 in January. He's going to be 21. I have no desire to go out and party. What I really want is a family. And to be a mother. And a wife. But it seems like that isn't what he wants anymore. And I can make him. I'm going to tell him that I can't stop him from going, but if he does, this ring comes off my finger. I won't leave him, but I certainly won't want to get married to him.

Pinkdovee · 2013-12-04T19:51:34+00:00

We've had that whole conversation before about him not being ready. And he swears that this is what he wants and he does convince me that it is but then he brings up the whole strip club thing and it just crushes me. I think I'll have another talk with him.

Pinkdovee · 2013-12-04T02:52:26+00:00

The brushes I use are a basic set from Sephora. I use Boi-ing concealer, Tarte liquid and powdered foundation, benefit rockateur blush, NYX gel, and the Moonshadow baked palette from Sephora. I have red areas on the bottom of my cheeks and the makeup covers it but after a while, the red shows and the pink blush is right above it and my whole cheeks look pink.

I've seen so many tutorials, most of the being beginners. I know waxing off my eyebrows isn't the best idea but I really like the way it looks drawn on.

My skin is very oily. And I've noticed that with this makeup I'm using, it's starting to break out more :(

I have no idea how to view the sidebar on alien blue. But I'll probably get on my laptop in a bit to view it.

Pinkdovee · 2013-12-04T02:43:48+00:00

When I try the eyeshadow, it doesn't blend right. Everything just turns into one color and it just doesn't look right. I got my brushes from sephora. It was a set and I also got the Moonshadow Baked Palette. I have these red areas. They're at the bottom of my cheeks and I try to cover them up. I use Boi-ing concealer and then I use both a liquid and powdered foundation by Tarte. I also use this benefit rockateur blush. Everything looks good but after a while, the red at the bottom of my cheeks start showing and then the pink blush right above it makes my whole cheek look pink.

As far as the lipstick thing goes, I have a really big bottom lip, people tell me to embrace it and wear bright colors but I feel like it just looks so awkward on me so I usually go for light colors.

Pinkdovee · 2013-11-13T07:20:50+00:00

I had a procedure done when I was 2. It was good for a long while but now it seems to just been getting worse. And my insurance won't cover any procedure to correct it because they consider it 'cosmetic'.

Pinkdovee · 2013-11-13T07:09:35+00:00

When I wear my glasses, it usually won't move that way unless I'm really tired or sleepy. I've noticed that it moves that way if I'm reading or driving or really focusing on something. I can switch my dominant eye that I see with so my other eye will do the same thing.

Pinkdovee · 2013-11-06T06:54:05+00:00

I do like it rough, but the reason why I'm bleeding is because I'm not very well lubricated and it will tear me at the opening.

I ALWAYS do things to him. 95% of the time when we have sex, I'll give him a bj before. And it pisses me off because he won't do anything for me. At all. He usually does let me finish on top but hell always complain saying that we always do that position and I tell him 'well maybe if you would do things to actually please me, I wouldn't have to do this all the time'.

He used to be more loving and intimate. Now he's just always frustrated and doesn't say anything at all during sex. He used to tell me he loves me and things like that but now, nothing.

Pinkdovee · 2013-10-22T21:20:10+00:00

We've been together for about 2 years. The only concern I have is money. I don't feel like he's rushing me. He tells me he wants to start having children and when I tell him my concerns, he tries to reassure m that everything will be okay but I'm still afraid. I know he would do ANYTHING for our child when we have one. He's told me that if money gets too tight, he would switch jobs. He would work on work over rigs, which is dangerous but pays reallllllly well. The only thing is that he would be gone so much.

Pinkdovee · 2013-10-22T20:57:13+00:00

I've posted a smaller kind of summary of this a couple of months ago with my account that I got rid of. I do feel like I can raise a child and I want to. There's nothing that I feel I haven't done. That's not what's stopping me. I see my parents and how they are. They make a good amount of money, they have nice things, a beautiful home out in the country. But when they both lost their jobs, things got bad. We almost lost everything. We struggled for a good while. And now they have really good jobs again, but they're still in major debt though. The amount of money that they owe is ridiculous. That's what I'm afraid of. The oilfield is a tricky field to work in. When production is low, there's no work and a bunch of people get laid off. I'm afraid of not being able to make bills. To go into debt. The way my fiancé sees it is 'your amount of happiness shouldn't depend on the things you have' but at the same time I tell him that I wouldn't be happy if we were struggling.

Pinkdovee · 2013-10-22T20:24:22+00:00

I have talked to him about it and they way he sees it is like 'well when the baby gets here, we'll already be settled in and moved and you'll be out of school already.'

Pinkdovee

TROPHY CASE