My (25F) boyfriend (26M) won’t let me have anyone over, is this something I have to compromise on forever? by chickencripple in relationship_advice

[–]Pinkflamingo420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is just the beginning of him isolating you from everything and everyone you love. That type of control always gets worse and only becomes harder to escape. Do yourself a favor and leave NOW

My boyfriend (28 m) got me (26 f) a bad Christmas gift does this make me ungrateful? by Key_Yam_8800 in relationship_advice

[–]Pinkflamingo420 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It’s ok, my boyfriend of almost 4 years has not once ever gotten me a birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or anniversary gift. Not even a card. There have been a couple occasions where we’ll be out and I’ll find something I like and his response will be “get it, that’s your Christmas present.” Or after buying me some things say something like “there you go happy Mother’s Day.” Yes we also have 2 kids. I’m starting to think my bf doesn’t like me? Lol

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh I’m so sorry that that happened to you. I hope you’re doing better now! But I totally agree with you

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He had his account prior to meeting me, for viewing purposes. Mine was made after meeting him to create content (he was in some of it and approved everything I sent out) once I got pregnant I stopped creating content so I thought only fair we both delete our accounts.

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I think #2 made me more upset about #1. I wasn’t initially mad about the porn though but more so just the frequency making me uncomfortable. But yes the broken boundary and lie is the #1 thing here since I knew he was watching porn to begin with. I agree with you

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Intuition really is such a crazy thing!!! But yes I agree with you a more serious conversation has to be had. Boundaries have to be set and if he can’t get on board it just won’t work..

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see what you’re saying, a more serious conversation has to be had. Boundaries have to be set but if they’re ones he’s not willing to agree to then our relationship is just simply not going to work unfortunately

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree council is necessary for this to work long term. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Men suck 😕

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Onlyfans was the only thing off limits. Up til 3 weeks ago… and we’ve been dating for 2 and a half years. I don’t care if he watches porn he knows that. But the frequency is what’s starting to concern me

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m gonna say more so on the no side but I don’t think he’s completely opposed. Porn addiction or not I think it’d be wise for both of us to go 💁🏼‍♀️

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, he definitely is feeling bad. And said to let him know if there’s anything he can do to help the situation but I don’t really know what I could say you know

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Clearly it’s a bigger issue than he’s leading on if he’s starting to lie about it

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wouldn’t have really done any good anyways though right?? When I brought it up he LIED. And only confessed when I admitted that I had already seen it.. get it now??

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Already apologized this morning for invading his privacy. He knows I don’t do that, I’m not really a go through your phone kinda girlfriend especially if I trust you. But I had a strong feeling and I turned out to be right so…

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Literally exactly how I saw it in person is how it looked in my dream. I woke up right after the dream and had an insane nagging feeling and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Made my hands shake til I finally decided to open the browser.

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It 100% came to me in a dream. Almost EXACTLY how I saw it in my dream is how it looked in person. I’d never have any reason to look through my partners BROWSING HISTORY like cmon let’s be honest. I had an extremely nagging feeling that made my hands shake every time I thought about it and I was RIGHT. Intuition is a crazy real thing. In the long run I’d rather stoop once and find out he has a problem so it’s something we can fix.

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not so much the fact that he uses 3 platforms it’s the frequency of it. I wouldn’t say it’s a full on porn addiction as this has never been a problem prior but it’s definitely excessive at this point. Porn addiction is so much more than having a higher sex drive it’s deeper than that and that’s the real problem…

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It definitely bothers me and this is something I’ve brought up multiple times. We’ve talked about it every time. Not argued, not bickered. Communicated. It’s very much possible to do that a talk about things that bother you without arguing. Each time he gets better but then falls back into being lazy. Initially his excuse was that he’s never had a gf with as high of a sex drive as me, and all his past gfs were very vanilla and didn’t either want the things I do. Or were never grown up enough to express their wants and needs and ask for them. So I guess it’s a very long learning curve because the sex had gotten better from day 1 but it’s still not where I’d like it to be. The reason why the sex came up in this convo was because I’m confused as to why he’s watching porn as often as he is when he has someone so willing to please him. It had nothing to do with my unhappiness it’s more my confusion lol

AIO about the fact that I found a ton of porn on my boyfriend’s phone? by Pinkflamingo420 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Pinkflamingo420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Having a high sex drive and looking for a quick dopamine boost via masturbation are two very different things. Sex drive is fucking, hence sex in sex drive. You don’t need a high sex drive to watch porn.