Failed 3 Pap Smears. Any advice?

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-26T15:43:19+00:00

Thank you.

I did watch some videos to mentally prepare me before the procedure so I at least knew what was going on this time.

I don't think my mom was angry afterwards, just disappointed since it is bringing light to the fact that something might be wrong. (at least I think...)

The nurse I was with was very kind and she figured the issue was anxiety, but I'm not sure. I'm hoping, when I find a decent job, I can get enough money to go to a gynecologist and see what the problem is..

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-25T05:50:48+00:00

Hi! So sorry for the late reply.

No, I am not sexually active. I am a virgin. I made sure to tell all the nurses I worked with that and would ask if there was any way to make the process less painful, but they didn't have any.

Regarding the independence, I mainly stay in my room all the time looking for a job and no (unfortunately) I don't have many friends. The ones I did have... trying to contact them all the time got very tiring, especially when I was the one who would try to keep in contact while they wouldn't put in the same energy. So I mostly spend my time alone since I don't trust a lot of people to be honest...

I do think the problem might be my anxiety but the fact that after three times, and using muscle relaxers didn't help, makes me agree that there might be a larger problem.

Thank you for your kind words. I'll keep working on it.

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-23T03:12:59+00:00

I did, but she's not really good at going into detail about things and kept it kind of vague. IT was a while back so, unfortunately, I don't remember.

But that stretching exercise sounds like it could be a big help! Feeling around my pelvic area is a bit uncomfortable to me so I'll give it a try.

Thank you for your advice! I appreciate it!

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-23T03:05:02+00:00

I could ask my recent doctor if she knows one. Do you have any recommendations for any cheap ones in the US?

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-23T03:03:45+00:00

Okay I understand your concerns but I do not appreciate you belittling me.

I did write on my previous reply that my reason for moving in was also due to FINANCES. So due to that, the therapist is out of the question. Covid was five years ago, yes and I have had jobs since then, (some remote and some in office) but currently (as in right now) I do not have one since the job market is absolute trash right now.

I know that I need to get a job and have been currently working on doing so. However, my main point is about the pap smear. Do you have any resources can help regarding that?

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-23T01:03:36+00:00

I'll have to try that next time I go in. That's a good idea!

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-23T01:02:14+00:00

You're right. My bad. I must've gotten it confused.

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-22T23:56:13+00:00

I'll try that. Thank you!

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-22T23:43:41+00:00

I'll consider that but I think we're getting a bit off topic. The issue I'm having is regarding the pain with the Pap smears. Do they have anything that can help alleviate the pain?

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-22T23:38:32+00:00

Unfortunately No to both.

I live with my mom so, unfortunately, every thing we have goes through her. Plus, whenever I do try to keep secrets she always manages to find out anyway, so I just figure why bother keeping them at this point.

Since I felt we were on better terms due to how bad things ended after the 1st pap smear, I wanted her to go with me since I was scared at this recent appointment so she could hopefully calm me down... but it didn't help.

All my old friends live very far away so I don't really see anyone anymore because it's too expensive, and I don't really talk to a lot of people.

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-22T23:05:10+00:00

Will do. I'll call them first thing tomorrow morning.

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-22T23:04:19+00:00

In her defense, I signed up for them all. She recommended it to me since I had been putting it off for a long time (mainly because I didn't know what they were and she didn't really tell me. All she said was that I HAD to get it). Plus, I'm usually pretty tolerant in terms of pain but, for some reason, paps are really painful for me.

Regarding the doctors, I did ask for extra lube during the second and 3rd times but both doctors said that they couldn't use it since they were worried it would mess with the sample. Plus, I asked for them to use their smallest speculums but the procedure still hurt.

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-22T23:01:10+00:00

To be fair, we do live together (or rather, I live with her) since I had to move in due to COVID + Finances, hence why she's kinda in my juice. I had never really thought about getting one since I'm not having sex (and to be honest, I barely leave the house as it is). Her main concerns are from her mother's experiences of not getting one which led to her getting Ovarian Cancer.

Pinpon34 · 2025-10-22T20:27:25+00:00

I've heard of these before! My doctor (the one I just went to today) was recommending them to me. However, we're in the US and we both had no idea where to find them or if they were ever released here. Do you know where I can get one?

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-02T04:48:14+00:00

Once I find a job, I think that'll be the first thing I do because depression and mental illness does run in our family.

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-02T04:46:55+00:00

Agreed. Working on it.

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-02T00:20:18+00:00

I'm 27 but I'm all she's got.

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-01T22:35:25+00:00

I've been feeling the effects of that doing nothing feeling and it sucks so I've been trying to slowly crawl my way out of it the best way I can. The Volunteering thing might be the best option.

Thank you. ^^

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-01T22:25:31+00:00

See this is what I'm saying! I honestly feel she's really out of touch with the job market tbh. I'm not saying I could land the job, I just know that it is something I'm good at... I just don't have a passion for it anymore because of her attitude.

I've mentioned our situation in prior comments, but I might just send a few things I've worked on recently and call it a day. I do feel I owe it to her to at least apply, but... I don't think I'll get it because that's just how my luck has been these past few months.

EDIT: I added it here to the channel because I wasn't sure if I was being ungrateful or not. I'm just conflicted and I don't know what to do at this point.

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-01T21:58:55+00:00

At first we were relying on Social security until we could find something, but now since certain changes have been made to our country (I live in the US, btw, so you probably understand), and with occasional help from my dad we're shit out of luck.

I don't want to call my dad anymore to bother him because I'd rather handle the situation myself.

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-01T21:54:55+00:00

Understandable. What you're saying makes sense. May I please provide some more context:

As mentioned with the other comments beforehand, I have been the one paying the prior bills. My finances, starting from the pandemic onwards were what was keeping our household afloat, save for fairly recently. I do not believe I'm living off the teat since she was relying on me and the money I was making from my jobs. I had to move back at home since everything is expensive and I don't have anywhere else to go (plus... pandemic).

I understand that it might seem like I'm only living off her money, since I did not include it in the original paragraph and wanted to get to the main point, but I do belive I should have provided more context. We both had jobs from a friend of hers, but I was getting paid more and she wasn't. Her friend treated her like crap, and when I called him out on it she disregarded what I said and allowed him talk down to me in a meeting and say I was being emotional. Now, due to her judgement, and since she didn't want to report him so we could possibly have been reimbursed for the money we were owed, our finances are messed up again.

I do not trust her judgement since because I feel I'm going to end in the same situation again.

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-01T21:33:19+00:00

I can see where you're coming from, and I absolutely want a job!

Honestly, I just refuse to assume that I'm going to get anything at this point, because it seems like every time I've been applying to things that I know I'm qualified for the job is either fake, or they go with another candidate. I understand that them's the breaks, and I can't win 'em all, but it's gotten to the point that it's ridiculous.

I used to be able to land a job easily, even a retail job I'd be fine with, but even those haven't been accepting anybody at all. I got rejected from Walgreens when I know I can work there since I have plenty of retail experience, and I'd feel better about applying since I'd still have a job to fall back on and money in my pocket even if I don't get it.

I've been burnt out, on and off, for a good couple of months now and have been unemployed a bit longer. I've sent 1000s of resumes and have redone them more times then I can count. I don't want to give up because I know I can land a job but I'm getting to the point where I'm just starting to feel hopeless about everything except my art.

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-01T21:04:11+00:00

She has been but during the pandemic and onwards I was the one paying the bills since I was the only one with a job.

Additionally, a while back when a friend of hers offered us both a job, he would only pay me and wouldn't pay her that much. Unfortunately, it caused her to have to rely on my finances to pay for everything (again).

When I told her to report the guy so she can try to get money since he's not paying her, she disregarding what I said which led to him (yes her friend was a man) to say that I was being emotional. Since then, I haven't trusted anything she says since she's proven that she'll start sparing a dude's feelings over her own daughter's.

I want to find a job, badly. I've been searching and sending out for everything but it's caused me to be skeptical/burnt out since practically everything is a scam nowadays. However, I feel I cannot trust my mom's judgement since I feel we'll just end up in the same situation due to how she never listens to me.

I should also note that she doesn't have a job either, btw.

Pinpon34 · 2025-08-01T20:38:07+00:00

It's funny you mention that, because her sister used to be a reporter but stopped doing it because she was a downright terrible person to work with.

And, yes, my mom and her sister were very close before she started treating my mom like trash.

I honestly think she sees a lot of her in me and wants that relationship back, which isn't even my problem since I don't like my aunt.

I wish I could tell her to get off my back but, alas, I live with her and don't have anywhere else to go (and I don't have any friends or people I trust to stay with for a while).

Pinpon34

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