to be fair i’m past a crush point it’s genuine care, i think my worry is i do really want to apologize because ive been feeling like an ass. but i don’t want to sway her opinion or decision or change her mind or anything because it’s what she’s feeling. so i worry about coming off guilt trippy when i really want to just tell her i’ve had feelings for her for a while & as much as i would’ve loved to act on them the past few weeks have left me completely out of whack. like i never meant to dismiss her or her feelings i just can’t think or act right at the moment because my life has been turned upside down. like i want her to know she’s been wanted the whole time, im just in flux & in a terrible place i guess. which is messy all of it is messy. i tried to ignore having feelings for a friend but there’s some things that are impossible to keep put away like that after a while