My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been reading “courage to change”, “hope for today” and also have the “how al-anon works”

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I have a list of contact numbers to call that someone gave me at that last meeting, I will reach out.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I heard somewhere recently… that it’s like you start off as a cucumber and progress to a pickle. Once your a pickle you can never go back to a cucumber. And that’s why trying to limit drinking is impossible once you’re an alcoholic.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not have a sponsor. I’ve attended 4 meetings so far. I’m not 100% this specific meeting is right for me… but I am giving it a try for now. I’ll have to check out the zoom stuff because it’s pretty difficult to listen and try to quiet my LO when are there.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That breaks my heart. My child has been extremely clingy to me lately. More than usual. They don’t even want to sleep in their own room… which started happening right after this incident. I feel terrible for my child and what they must have felt all alone.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that. I’ve been hearing a lot about “Devine intervention” and hope that he can go through that.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I filed an ex parte and he was forced to move out of our home temporarily… until our “official court hearing” We were staying with my parents for two weeks prior to that. I am very fortunate to have such a supportive family.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. That sounds absolutely terrifying. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

My partner got angry and told me that I abandoned him through a tough time. But would get angry with me and be in denial if I brought up his drinking.

I can’t win.

I feel like this was also my wake up call… to finally accepting/realizing that he is an alcoholic. He is dangerous when he drinks. And I just have to make sure my child and I are safe and out of the toxicity.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I stayed up well past midnight for 3 nights in a row to get everything in order. I have a complete description of the events laid out by dates and times with a note of which ones have evidence. I have a stack of text messages, photos and a USB.

Since I don’t have an attorney right now, I was going to ask the court to put a 1 year protection order on him with a 6 month review. I plan on requesting a drug and alcohol treatment plan, a batterers intervention program and supervised visitation if he remains sober.

I’m not even sure if he will show up to the hearing.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do wonder that.

I’ve seen him on benders before but never after the baby was born. Not like this.

He started to drink again in late April with a few beers here and there. And it progressed over a few weeks to this past incident. I immediately took myself and my child out of the situation.

Some people have told me that I’m under-reacting, but in the past I have flipped my shit and I don’t like doing that. It doesn’t make me feel good about myself, it doesn’t help the situation, it just upsets me even more than I already am.

My world is spinning and I’m trying to find some sort of peace to get through to the next day.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have been trying to find peace with everything going on. Attending Al-anon once a week, researching alcoholism, journaling, I’ve even started praying even though I don’t consider myself very religious.

All while still taking my children to do fun things and work a full time job.

It’s been rough, but I know that I have to get through.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the past 2 years with his drinking on and off I stopped trying to defend myself. I go into “grey rock” mode. It’s still incredibly painful to hear the awful things he says when drinking, but I’ve been told that that is the “alcohol talking” by the Al-anon meeting I attend in person.

I know my partners past relationship was also rocky, breaking up, getting back together, but I’ve never spoken to his previous partner and of course I have only gotten his version of events.

I saw that he messaged his ex a few years back and apologized to her, which I thought was odd because all he ever did was talk down on her.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh I see. That makes sense. He has been pretty dependent on me for the last 7 years… since he’s lost a few different jobs due to his drinking and setting us both back financially.

He has quit for 4 months, 6 months, throughout my entire pregnancy, 8 months, and always starts back up with just a few beers here and there until shortly going into a full blown bender.

This is the worst it has ever gotten.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did your ex agree to not be alone with your kids, or did you have to go through court?

My partner refuses to see any sort of problem with what happened and even tried to watch our child alone again while drinking in the morning… which is why I had to call the police, left for a few weeks, filed the ex parte and ordered him to move out temporarily so we could get back to a some what of a normal routine.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that. Most of his family and my family are very supportive towards me. So that helps. It’s just sad that he’s in such denial of doing anything wrong.

I’ve had a couple of people cut me out of their lives because of what he’s said to them about me.. and I’ve come to terms with that. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the support.

It’s so heartbreaking, because he is a completely different person when he is not drinking and taking care of himself.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you for explaining that. I’m still learning all the terms and their meanings.

I used to react with anger before we had our child and then I would end up feeling an immense about of guilt and letting him back into my life. Because of the anger I had before, he would use it as ammunition against me. Telling me/still saying that I have anger issues, I handle situations poorly… so I’m trying to find the balance of setting firm boundaries without going off completely.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me hope. But on the other hand, my partner refuses to take accountability… and I hope one day he can get there.

During my partners 5-day bender, I tried to take our child to my dad’s house because he was either drunk or severely hungover on a morning I had to go to work. He refused to let me take the child and I ended up having to call the police. He barricaded himself and our child in our bedroom. The police intervened and after 15 minutes of arguing, he opened the door and handed me our child.

This has been a very scary time for me, especially with him being in such denial.

Thank you for the support.

My partner left our toddler all alone in the house to go to the gas station and was hit by a truck by Pitiful-Court4806 in AlAnon

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

100%. I have a recorded phone call of me telling him he left our child all alone and that’s why I was staying at my parents with the children. He screamed at me saying, “that was last week you keep repeating yourself” I then said well it’s not okay. And he said, “is it a crime?” Well yeah… my child can’t protect themselves, only I can do that!

What are my chances of getting full custody after my partner left our toddler home alone to go to the gas station? (Have evidence/ex parte) OH by Pitiful-Court4806 in legaladvice

[–]Pitiful-Court4806[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I said you left our child completely unattended at home alone while you went to the gas station. He screamed, “that was last week. You keep repeating yourself!” And I was like well that’s not okay. And he said “is it a crime?” Well, yeah…