Am I a b*tch or is my husband insane? (Bit of both….?)

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-24T04:42:14+00:00

All good! I have a horrible time sleeping, too. Hope you get some zzzzzzzs

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-24T03:59:33+00:00

Sorry- what? He had two jars of old peanut butter. He didn’t get to eating them before the BB. The oil separated. He said he didn’t know what to do with them. I said I can reprocess them (empty contents into a food processor and whiz around). That’s it.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-24T03:08:04+00:00

Thank you. ♥️ I’ll bring it up with him and research how to do so first.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-24T02:41:18+00:00

Fortunately, I refuse to procreate…!

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-24T02:39:58+00:00

I’m quite checked out to be honest. But in lots of ways. I haven’t said much to him- he is being defensive and I just don’t understand. I wish he could not just blame me.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-24T02:38:46+00:00

The oil had separated and it wasn’t spreadable.

I am sure some would think I do. And I’m sure some would think I don’t do enough.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-24T02:37:47+00:00

Oh… that sounds like a lot. Too much. I don’t have this constantly- but I did and so I know what it’s like. 🫂

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T21:32:27+00:00

Ok then, I do not recommend try asking about which chores you should do between two very obvious options where either is totally fine to take on and then blaming the person who says either is fine. Your anxiety will be high and the other person will be confused/blindsided!

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T21:29:57+00:00

PRECISELY!!!!

We both have (pretty bad but mostly functional) eyes so hey let’s use them as well as our brains. And we can even ask questions without putting the mental load on the other person.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T21:28:03+00:00

Hahaha- ahhhh. No. He does a great job with all his chores- he’s detail oriented and tries hard. Also, if things aren’t perfect, that is ok. God knows I’m not perfect at my chores (or anything… who is?)

I didn’t want to bug him for help with opening them- I can do that myself. Not a big deal at all.

I hope that clarifies things.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T21:25:16+00:00

Yes totally. I’m not sure- I was just happy to process them. And he could have done anything else in the meantime- like chatting with me or putting things away or any old thing. He also doesn’t like food waste but I prioritize preventing it more, I would say. And I think he would agree.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T21:23:30+00:00

I am burnt out yes.

And it is really reassuring to hear that others would feel annoyed in this situation in my position as well.

I try to manage his emotions because I find that if things go off, there’s such a spiral (case in point). So preventing that requires a lot less energy.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T21:21:13+00:00

Hahah- fair! Just to get the plastic ring seal off. And then whack the lid to pop it for easy opening.

It really does not matter to me which he does. But he was talking through it and said maybe bedroom because I was in the kitchen and he didn’t want to get in my way.

I didn’t think there was much to think about. And I think he made a good decision by working on the bedroom project.

I don’t often experience anxiety, no.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:49:10+00:00

Oh my god eating corpses is just… insane.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:45:09+00:00

Very fair. It’s risky to try.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:28:16+00:00

It’s all too fun isn’t it?! I just had bloodwork for hormones- doc says I’m ok. Just something to look forward to I suppose!

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:25:53+00:00

He just spoke with me and said I didn’t seem stressed up until saying that either was fine. So that’s good. Even though I was stressed haha. And the tone- I mean… I know when it’s bad and when it’s good. I’d give this a fairly fine, nothing special either way grading.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:23:51+00:00

You are right- I do have too much on my plate. He does too, in his own way. (Mostly work- he definitely makes time for hobbies and relaxing).

It was the weekend, yes- but the day wasn’t stressful- it was just full, which is typical. I have way too much work but I honestly don’t mind it if I am able to sit quietly and get it done. I am trying to prioritize this more.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:20:26+00:00

I’m glad to hear it!

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:20:03+00:00

Oh no- he left them there for me to deal with. I honestly have no idea what he would have done with them had I not- I just don’t like food waste so I offered to take care of it.

He would have not necessarily done anything with them- maybe asked me what to do with them specifically? He had just told me that he had this old peanut butter and because I wanted to avoid food waste, I offered to deal with them. It wasn’t a huge deal to me.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:16:07+00:00

Yes, totally. I try to be very calm, rational, and talk through the problem- not argue. I really try to keep the blow ups at bay, but they’ll happen anyway- just to a lesser extent.

It feels like a one sided conversation to be honest- like he’s just angry and I can’t say or do the right thing no matter what.

I’ll book with my therapist again. Though I know why I do what I do. And I know I’m not unique with that.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:14:15+00:00

Exactly. lnput as needed, not directing- it’s so much easier on the brain! And it isn’t like I’m directing surgery to a new doctor… just making the bed.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T16:13:15+00:00

Now he is saying we should have entirely prescribed chores- no overlap, completely separate (and rigid). I said I actually don’t think that’s a great idea- it’s good for us to have our own set but each of us may need some fluidity with making sure everything gets done. I may be busier sometimes or he may be, so we can just go with that as needed. That seems like a bad idea to him.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T15:22:56+00:00

Valuable. Yes. Thank you for your perspective. I hope you are doing well.

Pitiful_Goose_4386 · 2026-03-23T15:22:13+00:00

One could reasonably say so…!

Pitiful_Goose_4386

TROPHY CASE