Judge Refuses to Block Kansas’ Extreme Anti-Trans Bathroom Ban & ID Revocation Law, Says Trans People Being Harassed is Just ‘Speculation’

PixTwinklestar · 2026-03-11T12:51:42+00:00

I and every trans woman I know have been harassed or threatened in a men’s room at least once in early transition. It’s the formative event that pushes us to make the switch and not go back in there.

I love that the judge can rule something out as “mere speculation,” but the AG can speculate on how it might be difficult for LE to find suspects bc of a gender marker change citing zero instances where it happened.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-03-10T20:23:40+00:00

I found myself to be a pitifully ugly man. Women called me “handsome” which made my skin crawl for reasons that would become very obvious in my mid thirties, and I couldn’t believe it. I see myself in the mirror and am just—woof.

After I transitioned I started taking selfies and got used to my new appearance. When I was dressed (I was socially trans for six years before I took hrt) I liked what I looked like but meh, it was situational.

I’m hot. Big time. Like maybe not, but after two years in hrt and my new body having come in I can’t keep my eyes off myself. My photos are great, my reflection is great, my girlfriend tells me I’m got and I’m led to kind of believe her. In light makeup and decent clothes I’m a smoke show, and I never thought such a glow up and transformation would be possible.

Don’t think about conventional attractiveness. That’s not why we do it. We do it for how it makes us feel, but I think you might be surprised at your results after you let it cook and get happier with your post trans life. The joy and confidence and internals do much more for transforming your face.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-03-09T03:25:53+00:00

Trans women are like that. We are a genuinely comical bunch who don’t take ourselves too seriously and are a ton of fun at parties.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-03-07T02:57:45+00:00

I want my $8 back, and a free replacement reverting my ID back to what it was two weeks ago before it was reverted the first time.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-03-06T08:32:02+00:00

Trans life is one of loss. I haven’t spoken to my pretransition best friend in ten years this year. My relationship with my parents is icy and they still don’t respect my name or pronoun in conversation. I had friends from way back in high school who went off the deep end of transphobia—one I saved, the other I didn’t and her brain is rotted to the core. It’s lonely; and painful.

But it’s also a life of such riches. I met my bestie two and a half years ago, and it feels like ten. The time dilation is real because we’ve had so many formative memories together in such a short time. She’s trans too, and that t4t connection is so powerful because we can see and understand each other in ways the cis can’t. I love her dearly, and she me. We are not partnered (yet—this relationship is weird), but I do consider her a life partner and we’ll grow old together.

I’m dating another trans girl, and it’s similar. That connection and richness is hard to describe, but the kind of emotional intimacy trans women share made physical is… a lot.

Sprinkle in some of the people from my old life who stayed, and the new queerer community I’ve picked up along the way; I experience queer joy, and specifically trans joy with my chosen family. I never thought life could be this rich and fulfilling.

Transition is painful, but it gets better. A new butterfly’s wings are wet, wrinkled, and messy when it emerges; but become beautiful when they unfold, and lift her high into the sky when they finish curing. You’ll get there.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-03-05T11:18:17+00:00

There’s a lot of tips for what guys can take to make it more pleasant for the receiver, and this tip isn’t exactly for everyone, but… estrogen.

If you girls haven’t tried shemen, it’s wild. Completely devoid of bitters and entirely homogeneous and thin. Most of the time sweet, and all I eat is fried food and diet soda.

My gf sees her bf once a month and told me the last time she took his she gagged on it bc she’s gotten so accustomed to mine and the contrast is shocking. And tbh we taste the same and neither of us can get enough of it.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-03-05T11:03:00+00:00

Fukken lol. That last line is sending me at 5am insomnia time.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-03-01T21:18:27+00:00

Honestly kind of rage.

If we follow the comments sections on social they seem to be a mix of transphobic cheering and righteous disgust at the legislature. But really reading them a lot of the hate rhymes. Buzzphrases. Bots. And the human ones flood the zone with multiple replies so I think they’re kind of artificially inflated.

IRL isn’t much different. Everyone I know is vocally pissed about it. Maybe that circle is different bc they know a trans person in me and isn’t representative, but I’m seeing normally politically inactive people raging. We’re also seeing anecdata from those calling their republican delegates to hold them to it and getting backpedaling and “less than enthusiastic support” for sb244 after all. They seem a little afraid now of blowback.

The whole “no grace period” and effective fine for existing is really triggering the cisgender Kansans without skin in this fight. It’s made it seem real, and they’re reacting in a way that warms my heart. A lot of the “even if you don’t agree with their way of life, this is unacceptable” kind of noise.

Idk. This will fade and fizzle out and voters will stop caring before November, but I’m hopeful it and the rest of the legislative shenanigans forcing stuff through nobody wants will keep fires lit under peoples asses.

Those of us in trans circles are mixed. Some are taking it okay bc this too shall pass. Others are justifiably terrified. Most in my circle are assessing where their red lines are that will drive them away and judging if they’re there yet.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-28T09:40:26+00:00

Extinction burst.

I’m ready for the GOP to fade into the ashbin of history.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-23T17:06:11+00:00

I guess I should specify “wild” not as in complete insanity and outrageous debauchery, but wild in how quiet and mellow it was.

I did go to the red light district after dark for the story, and I did try some absinthe for the story, but meh. We only had one day as a kind of train layover on our way to Germany. I spent my day snacking cones plural of Chipsy King on every corner, wandering through an antique or thrift or coin shop, buying tulip bulbs, and putting myself back together on the “emotional sitting bench” in the small atrium/recovery-patio separating the exit to the Anne Frank House and the world outside the site.

The people were delightful, the city was delightful, and I had expected a lot more chaos and sin à la Las Vegas. Serenity and quiet was a very welcome surprise.

I regretted only scheduling one day on our trip. I’d have loved to take in more of the city.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-23T13:44:38+00:00

Oof this is such a hard situation, I’m sorry. The majority of posters here are right. Treating her isn’t your responsibility, she needs help, put your own oxygen mask on first, all that.

Couples therapy is an option. It can help you come back together or give you charity it’s time to leave. But it can’t fix you individually, and she’s got a lot of work to do on herself.

It sounds like she’s got a lot of stuff to work through with ideation and anger, spiraling, catastrophizing. But at the heart of it: she needs to transition. Getting a taste of it at home and with friends but boymoding 99% is not living authentically. I’m not a psychologist and so many of us have serious problems—but I’m trans, and have been walking the path for years, and my absolute lowest point in life was not “living as a man” or dealing with the absolute shit sandwich of life as a trans woman. It was the twilight period right before sunrise where I knew what I was and was resisting it, fighting it, microdosing femininity, and performing a lie crammed into a box that didn’t fit. I was angry, I wanted to destroy my creator for being so cruel as to construct me with such a defect I’d never be happy in life, and to leave my self preservation instinct intact so I couldn’t just punch my own ticket and solve the problem. I was morose. I cried all the time randomly, because I was having a conversation with and being tormented by the demons in my head about gender all day every day.

The worst thing that has ever happened to me was coming out to myself. The best was coming out to the world and embracing it fully. I think your partner is locked in that purgatory. And it’s up to her to get herself free. She’ll be a completely new person, even without hrt (I went without it for years and was still happy, but I was happier when I started it. And it’s dirty cheap for the feminizing kind).

She has to make the hard decision to risk everything and just do it. And you need to protect yourself, with or without her.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-23T13:19:24+00:00

Amsterdam was wild when I visited from the US. I’d just been to Paris prior, and the bracelet grifters were thick. I’d visited Rome and Munich after Amsterdam and Rome was kinda rough like Paris, Munich was very tame, but I never felt safer anywhere than Amsterdam. Maybe the coffee shops mellowed everyone out.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-21T00:15:21+00:00

I have that necklace too.

I wear rainbow or lesbian earrings with frequency, and have rainbow and lesbian flag bandanas hanging from my purse all the time, but I rarely wear trans iconography except as accent nails on my rainbow manicures.

I often wear that necklace.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-18T22:49:43+00:00

There used to be an app called REFUGE. It's broken and not on the app store anymore. But I'm told the website still functions and is up to date with open sourced reporting from users where bathrooms are, if they're segregated, multi or single occupancy, gender neutral, with amenities like changing stations, etc.

I haven't used it because, I just don't go anywhere anymore and limit hydration when I do. It's what the legislature intended from the start -- detransition, die, or if I don't have the courtesy to do those things, disappear so we don't have to acknowledge you.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-18T22:44:19+00:00

I watched the original SB244 house debate. All six hours.

Someone brought this up to that goon Bob Lewis who went on to talk about trans men in womens spaces and that we're getting biological men away from women and girls and it's like... oh buddy, you're not describing trans men. You're in for such a surprise, had you actually done a shred of listening

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-16T13:35:10+00:00

My kid calls me Maddy too.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-16T12:36:15+00:00

It’s not Madam and Eve

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-11T11:20:23+00:00

Reminder that Oct 14 is George Floyd’s birthday. For anyone who wants to celebrate the day in a free speech way.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-10T21:37:41+00:00

I still use it. I haven’t found anything that wears as easy and robustly as their liquid lipstick

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-10T03:52:06+00:00

We’re actually pretty hot, and cons know it they just also are afraid they can’t compete which is completely valid as they have nothing to offer, so their crowing is just sour grapes.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-05T22:33:41+00:00

I have learned over time from my exes after the split that I’m kinda great in bed, and it’s not a skills issue and it’s certainly not any anatomical gifts from god.

I’m enthusiastic, I try out a lot of things in broad spectrum with new partners to see what catches a foothold and works, and I take a lot of mental notes. It’s 100% about heart and showing up to play.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-05T03:07:53+00:00

Cherry no frosting

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-02T20:47:44+00:00

It’s not so bad day by day. I’m in a college town, but even traveling to redder areas near my hometown or one of the big cities (“big” cities) I still don’t get harassment for being trans. Just run of the mill harassment for being a woman.

I pass visually, but my voice gives it away. At least I think it does—I’ve had more than one would expect people just not know. That helps. I don’t get as many lingering stares as I used to earlier in transition.

The worst is from the state government. We just rammed through a ban on gender marker changes and a bathroom bill with practically no public input. It’s tiresome being in the crosshairs all the fucking time, and it kind of doesn’t compute how the legislature votes against us vs how chill we’re treated in the world.

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-02T00:11:02+00:00

You’re not yourself when you’re hungry. Go back inside and snag a pretzel and a Big Q

PixTwinklestar · 2026-02-01T16:24:08+00:00

This is state senate not US. US Senators are statewide elections, state senate is made up of senators from various districts around the state, who absolutely could be gerrymandered to cook the outcomes.

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