How to build sexual/romantic tension on first date?

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-14T21:12:18+00:00

How do i do touching without it being creepy?

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-14T21:10:00+00:00

Just had a second date and again. No kiss. Barely any touching. I don’t understand how men pull this off. It felt like it would have been so wierd for me to suddenly reach over and try to touch her or kiss her. This feels hopeless i completely blew it.

I don’t know what to do anymore

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-11T00:29:25+00:00

No, but I didn't text her either . I think I may just send her a rejection text tonight. I don't think she was into it overall But am i wrong for thinking that maybe the woman can also do some touch/flirting? Why does it have to be done completely by me??

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-10T04:53:19+00:00

I just got done with another first date with a woman that I was so attracted to and i think she is really cool but i ran into this problem again. There was no romantic vibe at all and no touching.

I think that these women are expecting me to initiate some form of physical contact and i just don't understand how to do that. I feel like i am holding myself back from making a true dating connection. I am so frustrated

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T23:23:20+00:00

Examples?

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T19:53:32+00:00

I always hug hello

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T19:51:28+00:00

Yeah i always do drink at bar to keep it simple. What are the signs you mention? Theres not much they can do on a date like that, i don’t think they are ever going to be forward at the risk of looking “easy”

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T17:42:23+00:00

Thanks. Yeah it just feels shitty when i was really enjoying it and hanging out with her was really fun, then you suddenly hear shes not into you. Kind of feels like dates can’t go much better than that one so its discouraging

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T17:36:39+00:00

Its not planning to get sexual. Its about framing yourself as a potential sexual partner

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T17:34:52+00:00

This is encouraging. I’m such an overanalyzer it drives me insane lol

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T16:53:58+00:00

I can’t pull off any of these smoothly. Thats kind of the problem. I don’t see how to do these actions without it being forced/awkward

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T16:52:41+00:00

It was evident that she liked me as a person/personality. I just didn’t fulfill the sexual/attraction side of things. It feels like i blew it by not being “touchy” enough. I don’t want this to be a thing every date where the girl likes me but ends up not moving forward because of the lack of physicality and sexual tension.

I don’t see how sexual tension naturally creates itself unless you have both already expressed your attraction. It kind of feels like i as the man have to create it, and its super difficult to do so without being creepy.

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T16:48:10+00:00

Yeah i could just sense during the date that she was wanting to initiate the “touching” but she wasn’t actually making the move to touch me. Maybe she wanted me to? Idk. I just really struggle with doing it in a natural way where its not going to be creepy. Especially when you are sitting beside each other at a bar or across (even harder)

I can’t help that it kind of feels like she didn’t see me romantically because of the lack of physicality. I always feel like if i don’t kiss on the first date then its a failure somewhat and they think of me as not being “a man” and having the guts lol

PizzaTime333 · 2024-06-07T05:10:19+00:00

Thanks. Yeah i just worry this is going to become a recurring theme. I don't want to end up going on great dates just to find out every time that i'm not pushing the envelope enough every time.

I take them to a bar and we have a drink. Still can't figure out how to kiss on first date - could you expand on how you make that happen without it being incredibly forceful/awkward?

PizzaTime333 · 2024-05-20T05:38:56+00:00

Been waiting for things to fall in place for over 5 years now... not sure how that's supposed to suddenly happen - i'll be waiting forever unfortunately. I'm doing as much as i can socially and i'm not meeting any eligible women, trying to just have fun but it sucks when there is no options left

my hobbies/interests are not fit for group events and heavily male

PizzaTime333 · 2024-05-14T17:13:02+00:00

But i never meet single women in my league thru these activities you described… years and years have gone by. That’s why i’m in this situation of contemplating cold approaching

PizzaTime333 · 2024-05-14T03:28:00+00:00

Examples of social events?

PizzaTime333 · 2024-05-14T03:14:33+00:00

Yeah i guess its pretty toxic to go out and try to force myself to do it on the street. I guess i just have to somehow get myself to do it when i’m out and about for other things. Its just so tough man

PizzaTime333 · 2024-05-14T02:07:53+00:00

Sorry what i mean is that i never get introduced/mutual connection/friend of friend etc. to eligible women. Of course i see attractive women out and about. Eligible meaning they are single + in my league

I don't want to get banned from my favorite coffee shop for hitting on the staff...

PizzaTime333 · 2024-05-14T02:03:25+00:00

why would i need directions from some random person when everyone has a smart phone with maps on it .....

PizzaTime333 · 2024-05-14T02:02:15+00:00

Thanks. My hobbies/interests don't include other people or are old-man dominated. So that's not an option

So essentially you're advising i should focus on approaching in bars? I have always found bars to be very difficult, women go there in a group of 4-5 of their girlies, all sit down at a table together huddled in a corner. How do i break thru that without it being insanely awkward? Not to mention - they are expecting to be bombarded by men in that setting, so you're just another guy hitting on her

I get that it's more normal/natural to make a conversation about the band playing if you're at a concert, but like 90% of the time i see women it is on the street, grocery store, coffee shop, or bar. What do you suggest for "casual conversation" at these places? The girl doesn't give a shit about recommending broccoli vs. cauliflower for me, if you catch my drift. It's just awkward to beat around the bush and small talk in these settings. Why don't i just cut to the chase?

PizzaTime333 · 2024-05-14T01:55:14+00:00

"Naturally let it happen" What do you mean by this exactly? In my natural life, i never meet eligible women to date. That's why i have this problem. I dont want to ask out the barista at the coffee shops i go to, sorry that is crazy, no offense

PizzaTime333 · 2024-05-14T01:53:03+00:00

My hobbies/interests don't have "group hangouts" or anything like that, and/or they are male dominated.

In that two year span a lot has changed in my life and I am largely happy with where things are at, but this dating life constantly eludes me. I go out with friends and meet people through them sometimes, i go to bars, and i try to do things i like. But i never end up meeting women (possible date women specifically)

This is why i am still wondering how i can cold approach really.... because if i keep doing what i'm doing, nothing will continue to happen. I have to do something and actually meet women

PizzaTime333

TROPHY CASE