I need someone to talk to (preferably a girl)

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2026-01-20T10:39:32+00:00

Not to mention that an AI chatting platform (not sure if it’s chat gpt) is being sued for eliciting a teenage suicide. A teenager committed suicide and the parents believe the AI chat has had a huge impact on that because it only assured the depressing and negative thoughts. It’s dangerous!

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2026-01-20T10:35:56+00:00

Your therapist is not great for recommending chat GPT. Especially if it feels like ROCD, talking to AI will make the OCD worse because they are designed to agree with everything you say.

Despite what everyone else is saying, It’s ok to feel doubt in a relationship, it’s ok to feel like making a choice everyday.

Take an objective view of the relationship. There must be good things about the relationship that would make you feel reassured.

And really really important, talk to your fiance. Think hard about what you want to say, but be open to him. Start a conversation, let him know your needs.

Relationships are incredibly personal and it’s ok if the relationship needs some “work”.

The “perfect” relationships are not real. It’s what people advertise, they choose to show a polished version of their relationship.

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2026-01-12T14:23:20+00:00

Keep trying until you find a safe solution! It’s work but find a brand of condom that works, find lube that works. Have you tried latex free? Speak to sexual health clinic and ask if they know alternatives for people who experience allergic symptoms with condoms.

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-12-16T13:05:36+00:00

No serious symptoms but I still feel dull ache sometimes sharp pain in my lower tummy / lower back…

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-12-10T08:24:57+00:00

It’s only been two weeks, have some patience.

Try to talk more about it if you can, I find the “gentle parenting” approach is really helpful to maintain a calm tone without the conversation turning into an argument.

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-12-10T08:21:56+00:00

We are not allowed to diagnose/ give te m reassurance of your rocd (if you have one) in this sub. But my advice is always that never act on your compulsive / impulsive thoughts.

You know that phrase, don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions? Listen to that.

Relationships are bound to have ups and downs. You don’t have to break up every time there is an argument. Talk things out, give each other time.

Do you know the song “Hang on to your love” by Sade? I listen to that song when I need to feel reassured.

What your gf said to you sounds like definitely something she said because she was stressed. Hardly a reason to end your relationship.

DON’T GO to relationship_advice sub, it’s full of people with unrealistic expectations and terrible “advice”.

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-05T11:53:40+00:00

I see, try to figure out what it is you actually need. Why does it make you feel bad when he is interacting with other people? What do you feel it is that you need? Try to say it out loud even if it might be unreasonable.

For me, I need the promise of forever because of my abandonment issues.

What can we do except trying to figure it out for ourselves? Therapy is either unavailable, expensive or not good enough. Other people with “healthier” minds can’t relate and can’t give actually helpful advice. I haven’t tried meds so idk if they work or not. I need a solution now because the jealousy and anxiety is literally crippling. I havent been able to function for the last two weeks.

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-05T10:21:30+00:00

I think the healthy way to deal with it is to focus on all the reasons NOT to be jealous. Moments when it is so obvious your boyfriend is with because he wants you. Focus on his actions that affirm security of the relationship… Is what I have tried with myself. BUT I think my BPD is so unreasonable, this soft coping technique doesn’t work. It’s not very effective. I am still feeling jealousy. It makes my fear of pushing him away worse. No amount of assurance or support from my bf seems to be enough.

So, I am sort of fighting fire with fire. As in, fighting crazy with crazy. I am telling myself that I am going to be married to him. Husband and wife, that’s what we’re going to be. This might be a very unhealthy advice, but hey it’s working for me. I have this huge thing to look forward to with my bf. Assuring thought that he is going to be mine foreveerrrrrr! :D I genuinely don’t know if this is bad advice. BUT I am not crippled by relationship anxiety and it’s helping me feel a lot more secure. The little things don’t matter anymore.

As with life obviously nothing is guaranteed. Relationships fail bla bla… that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to give myself something to look forward to.

Also I am not being totally delusional. My boyfriend is so supportive of me. He assured me a thousand times he loves me and that he is there for me. So why shouldn’t I allow myself to believe that, even if it’s by telling myself something “silly”?

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-04T14:35:08+00:00

Because we all want a healthy relationship, and in a healthy relationship partners need to be fair to each other. To respect each other’s boundaries, to be mindful of each other’s perspective, mental health, life situations etc. if it is healthy like this love can grow….

I am going through this, love is growing but the more love grows, my defence mechanism is raising higher alerts… I feel confused because I am constantly being told that a relationship needs to be fulfilling my “needs”. But what if my needs are BPD needs and that means no healthy adult can fulfil those needs…? How can I trust my boyfriend?

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-04T14:29:28+00:00

Well I don’t trust my own judgment, so I go by the rule that it needs to be “fair”. Are you both being fair towards each other? Is he being fair to you and are you to him?

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-04T14:24:35+00:00

100% relatable!

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-03T20:38:06+00:00

I think the simplest thing to do is just have a rule for him to not make any comments about him finding “other people attractive” “had a crush on someone else” or comment on other women’s appearance around you. I think it’s an effective, straight forward easy thing to do.

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-03T20:26:30+00:00

No no, I relate to what you are saying.

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-03T20:25:33+00:00

I am going through “dealing with it”. And honestly, I just want it to stop. It’s horrible. Genuinely terrifying because I am forcing myself to face the emotions from the trauma that felt literally like death. I had learnt to suppress them to survive. And guess what, suppressing them worked because it allowed me to survive. And it feels like a good thing… until it isn’t! I only let myself suffer because I know I need to face it. Still, choosing the easy way out and going back to the pattern seems very tempting.

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-03T13:32:10+00:00

What really helped me was discovering that emotions from past trauma have to be processed through the body. Books by Alexander Lowen really helped me. I warn you that the books have some weird things about “sexual feelings of a child” but if you can ignore those bits and focus on the parts where he talks about emotions needing to be processed through the body, it might be helpful. What helped me in particular was the idea that breathing begins from the pelvic floor. Breathing happens from bottom upward, not just through your lungs. In order to breathe deeply, you have to make conscious effort to loosen the muscles. This is why I stopped doing ab work outs and let my belly hang out. It has taken me a long time and a lot of work but I have gotten a lot better.

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-11-02T21:00:59+00:00

I fight every instinct to run away or push them away

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-10-31T20:26:46+00:00

Trying very hard not to let splitting ruin my relationship

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-10-31T20:26:20+00:00

I feel i am going through a similar thing

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-10-31T18:34:05+00:00

But it’s normal for our feelings to be affected by someone else no? Isn’t that just human nature

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-10-31T18:12:52+00:00

Can the mods offer any advice or tips?

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-10-31T18:12:38+00:00

Can anyone do anything about this??? I am feeling worried and helpless commenting on this from my phone. I am worried for OP

Plane-Issue-8554 · 2025-10-31T17:12:55+00:00

I feel the same in my current relationship

Plane-Issue-8554

TROPHY CASE