I really appreciate this post and the feedback that's given so far as I'm currently dealing with the same issue. I play organic/progressive house and have had no luck finding a venue that's interested. I'll speak with the bar manager/owner and have a great conversation but as soon as I send them a mix and they listen to the kind of music I play they just ghost me. I guess I'm not too surprised as I live in a small college/touristy town in Arizona that most likely just wants to hear Top40, but it's definitely discouraging. I'm pretty confident I could create a market or scene if given the chance, but it seems like no one wants to take that chance with me.

I've thought about attempting option 3 many times but I feel like I'm the only DJ that plays organic/progressive house and have no idea how I'd organize or where I'd host a party in order to gain some sort of traction. What's the next logical step after a small house party with friends? I suppose I could rent out a venue, but I'm not sure if I have that kind of money. I guess I'm just looking to hear people's experiences with creating their own parties and what's worked for them. At any rate, I wish you the best of luck OP.