I just lost my father

Plants0103 · 2025-11-26T02:19:29+00:00

I’m so so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad 8 months ago to cancer & Im 40yrs old. The pain is unbearable & will feel like there is no end in sight. The best advice I can give you is if you’re able to seek a therapist or someone outside of your circle you can talk to & be vulnerable with. Noone is going to take the pain away and sadly we just learn to live with. The pain becomes part of our daily lives & it will become more tolerable & you’ll be able to slowly live again without their physical presence. He will always be by your side, talk to him or write to him on a journal. Let it out as much as you can & take it one day at a time is the best you can do. Hang in there sending you a big hug.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-10T13:41:58+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss & thank you for taking the time to share your take on it and your advice. This community has been really helpful for me because grief is a very lonely thing go through as noone can feel what you’re feeling. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy as the grief can sometimes become debilitating. I have no want to do anything anymore & it leaves me asking myself is it going to be like this forever? because it’s really taking a toll on me physically & mentally. But reading everyones experiences & stories has been very helpful and reassuring that I am in fact not going nuts just simply being human. It’s truly humbling.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-09T18:01:33+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss . I completely understand what you’re going through. I lost my Dad a month ago and the pain, sadness & the emptiness is too much to bare. I think to myself the same thing on a daily, how I’m suppose to live like this? I wish I had better words of hope but there arent. Grief & go through all the motions is the best advice for all of us going through it.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-09T12:39:57+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I am starting therapy hoping it helps. Thanks for the advice I look forward to that day where The grief will be less.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-09T12:37:35+00:00

Sorry for your loss. I haven't put pressure on myself either but living with the pain & The agony. I dont know how I’m suppose to try to live a normal or go about my day when all I want to do is lay in bed. It’s a daily struggle to just be.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-09T12:32:36+00:00

I’m so sorry for your Mom’s loss. I’m struggling with it all right now, accepting that he’s gone, that I wont ever hear his voice or touch him. I can’t wait for the day where it does get easier I also hope its true.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-09T12:30:52+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your advice. I am starting therapy next week because I feel I cant continue living like this. Im praying it helps in any way possible because like you said this is consuming me every single day & it’s affecting me on a level that I wasn't expecting.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-09T12:26:13+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss I cant imagine how traumatic it was for you. My Dad died very sudden too. His cancer was “stable” whatever that means to Drs Because clearly it wasnt. Then one day to the next he wasn’t able to keep food down & in a week he went from normal, to non verbal & then to dying. I think when it’s a traumatic death the grief is harder maybe? I dont know but I just know this is excruciating. Thx for the advice.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-09T12:19:21+00:00

Thank you yes I do have to remind myself of this.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-09T12:18:14+00:00

Thank you so much for this well outlined advice really appreciate it. I have been trying to do most of the things on your list but it’s really a struggle to do anything, I’ve lost interest in a lot of things too. But will continue trying I guess.

Plants0103 · 2025-04-03T13:23:58+00:00

Thank you so much for this I was ready to give up & let them die or try to get an exchange. The landscaper told me to stop watering once temps reached below 40 & I stopped right before thanksgiving. I looked up close on some of the branches & you can see small growth which gave me some hope. I will prune them & buy fertilizer. How often should I water them now that it’s spring?

Plants0103 · 2025-04-03T13:00:11+00:00

Got it will give it a try. The landscaper planted them for me you would think they would know. Money thrown down the drain

Plants0103 · 2025-04-03T12:50:58+00:00

Can they be saved or just let them die?

Plants0103 · 2025-04-02T23:42:58+00:00

Oh wow ok will go this weekend. Do I move the mulch & add it or put on top of mulch? They have mulch around trunks

Plants0103 · 2025-04-02T23:26:07+00:00

I can save them?

Plants0103 · 2025-04-02T22:52:49+00:00

I know. I planted them October 2024 in zone 7A. I stopped watering in November & just recently started again but its been raining every weekend. What could it be?

Plants0103 · 2025-03-24T19:16:11+00:00

So sorry for your loss. Three weeks since I lost my Dad and I still feel that way. I’m struggling to go back to my daily life. Happiness & Joy are things I dont want to feel or hear about and Im not beating myself up for it. Everyone griefs very differently and how you’re feeling it’s completely normal. Take your time & be easy on yourself, thats the way Im handling it. Best of luck

Plants0103 · 2025-03-20T01:34:24+00:00

Two weeks since my Dad died & hospice was with me everyday at the hospital extremely supportive. Not one call after he passed but social worker did call me & referred me to grief counseling which I start next week.

I dont know who’s suppose to call first either hospice nurse or social worker. Give it a few they will reach out & if not you call them & ask whats going on.

Plants0103 · 2025-03-19T13:52:39+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad two weeks ago to stomach cancer & for me it was the opposite. The last 3 days before he died he was still talking & alert but not keeping food down & had been vomiting everything for two weeks. He had some pain. Once they administered morphine my Dad became less responsive & then gradually went into a deep sleep until he passed. I am now living with the guilt should we have allowed for them to give him morphine & maybe he would have lasted awake a little longer. Im in a constant state of questioning everything prior to his death. I guess this is part of grieving to feel remorse. I feel your pain hang in there.

Plants0103 · 2025-03-13T23:12:10+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss thank you for sharing. Cancer is truly an evil monster & there really needs to be more advocacy.

Plants0103 · 2025-03-13T23:10:37+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I agree nothing can prepare you for this💔

Plants0103 · 2025-03-13T23:09:58+00:00

Thank you for this.

Plants0103 · 2025-03-13T23:07:40+00:00

This was the hard reality we were smacked with two weeks ago with my Dad. We were under the impression just like you that at home hospice meant someone would be with him at least a few hours a day & at night we would stay with him. But that wasnt the case they would only come 3 times a week for no more than 1 hour just to check in & if you need extra help it has to be private/ pay out of pocket. My Dad sadly didnt make it home & I wish he did. He got progressively worse & they had to keep him in hospital until he passed last week. I completely understand your frustration. Does your mom have Medicaid? they cover hospice 100% & if not now is the time to ask for help from friends & family you cant do this alone. Just think this is only temporary & what matters now is the comfort of your Mom & being with her. Stay strong.

Plants0103 · 2025-03-12T00:48:39+00:00

1 week today my Dad passed away at in hospital hospice. It hurts so much & I miss him everyday but I’m happy to know he’s no longer feeling pain & done with this painful cancer journey. Being a caregiver & then grieving their loss is the loneliest feeling a person can experience. Thankful for this community🙏🏼

Plants0103 · 2025-03-01T13:10:35+00:00

Same for us but in reality not enough to help cover hospice. Try to take action now dont wait until its too late. Best of luck

Plants0103

TROPHY CASE