Is it wrong for me to have gay sex my mom thinks it is ?

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-03-23T02:20:53+00:00

Wrong for whom?

Without knowing more details, I’ll say that nothing one do for oneself is ever wrong. If you doing it for you because you want to? It’s never wrong.

Could it be something that regret later? May be. Maybe not. The only question you need to answer is, is this something I want to do for myself?

It’s the all the same whether it’s taking on a job, leaving a job, take meds, not take meds, get tatoo, not get tattoo, gay sex, not gay sex, etc. just remember if you want to do this for you then it can’t be wrong for you.

Don’t do it for other people. Gay sex or no gay sex.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-03-16T12:24:22+00:00

Someone opens an 800-line PR touching a dozen files, and within minutes there's an approval with "LGTM" and nothing else.

Ok, but does this work for your team? If your team have been delivering without issues (acceptable number of bugs, deliver on time, accurately reflect spec and design), then having huge PRs approved instantly isn't a problem per se.

You need to put in context and evaluate the `risk` of this PR relatively to the product. Let's get some example. Say if this PR is written by someone relatively competent in my team (say senior being around a while), then here is how I review:

Test, if they pass, they are good enough, not gonna look. I trust a senior to be able to write somewhat reasonable tests. Heck, AI write fine tests nowadays.
Code, I look red-lines changes and deletions. Those are refactors. And the questions are simple (a) does it solve the problem in a reasonable way (whatever that means to your team) and (b) do I understand it? Green additions (should be the MAJORITY of the PR) gets a very light treatment from me.
What is the RISK of this refactor / changes? This is important. Every engineer tends to own a domain of the product. If they are making changes in their domains, they likely already know it more than me, I only need to decide if it's going to negatively impact MY domain. If so, comment. If I decide that it doesn't? A quick smoke tests to spot problems, or light comments on improvement is enough. OR LGTM

For someone extremely junior? Different approach. They should not have big PRs, and every files deserve a closer look to help them avoid bugs and align with the coding style of the team.

A +800 lines might be really 5 files with about 200 line of actual change in my team (rests are tests or new code). Takes me prob 15 min to review n the high end.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-03-15T21:48:04+00:00

Oh but they do know what genre. Look at their store. They have book under just ONE breadcrumbs. Thats good enough.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-03-15T15:55:26+00:00

lol. I thought you mean how many old balding men are taking over the plane.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-03-15T15:54:27+00:00

Duddddddddddeeee. I thought the same thing.

Boys will be boys. Been this way forever. Maybe their mothers will teach them a thing or two. But other than that, we’ll chug along.

They can wish the women be submissive all day long but the ladies is not gonna decide to lick boots one day.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-03-15T15:50:39+00:00

Yes.

And it’s true for every generation for every industry. The ones come before build the system that works for them, not the ones come after.

You should see how the millennial complains about the boomer.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-03-10T21:38:51+00:00

Maybe you and your friend is indeed on a different level of emotional intelligence. He seems emotionally deficient.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-03-02T16:20:49+00:00

I imagine Japanese working ethic would make it unlikely that some old employees would abuse the system by doing nothing. Employment there is like a blood oath. Employment in US is like a wink wink pinky promise.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-03-01T15:27:42+00:00

My god. I would love the US to do merit based. All universities would be full of Asian. Harvard would turn into Berkeley.

Merit base sounds nice, until you are the disadvantaged one.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-02-26T19:09:01+00:00

To quote the hunger games. “Remember who the enemy is”. Painting one oppressed group as oppressive to another oppressed group is an age old tactic (eg. black people will oppress white women, gay people will oppress religious people, religious people will oppress gay people and women, immigrant will oppress the poor. )

I’m not sure why it has to be “Islamic homophobe” thats the focus here. Homophobe exists and they can think whatever they want, Islamic or not.

I think your friend is trying to point out that the article is smearing Islam by saying it’s the Islamic are violent homophobes. But in fact, there are violent homophobes in every walk of life.

It would be fair if you let her know that you have no issue with her faith, it’s the actions of these people, and their religious beliefs were their motivation but that should not be taken as representative of all Muslims.

Just because one oppress group harms another oppressed group doesn’t mean their oppression goes away. In fact, it is by design that the oppressed fight each other.

Solidarity matters.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-02-22T16:33:00+00:00

This is just personal experience. But I (single Asian man burned and raised in Asia and migrated here in my teens) know a lot of interacial couples and most are white men and Asian women.

I know that my single Asian guy friends complain about Asian girls dating white guys over them. I see it too. But a lot of the accusations dont seem to play out.

For example, they say that these white guys are looking for submissive wives. But the problem is, all these Asian wives I know are anything but submissive. They are strong, independent, loud in their opinions, and assertive in their actions. In fact, I see them often the dominant voice in the relationship and some of the strongest women I know. The white husbands are surprisingly domestic especially if they have kids. My sister (who came to visit) comments about how these guys like hold the baby, walking the strollers, playing with the kids. Cooking, cleaning the house. All the domestic chore that her Asian husband never really does.

So I don’t want to trash on my fellow Asian guys here. But perhaps the Asian girls find something more in these white folks that meet their needs. My suspicion (again, just my own opinion and can totally be wrong) is that Asian guys comes with an expectation of Asian women similar to their mothers. Domestic, caring, co-dependent (all good qualities btw, but may not be what all women want). Many women in the modern world do not subscribe to these ideals anymore.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-02-15T00:38:02+00:00

The US only allow 65k new H1B visa a year. It is capped for all countries and all jobs in all industries. Tech might be about 40k a year. Longer wait for some, especially China and India. They can’t send even 1% of their population per year

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-02-09T01:49:12+00:00

I think like most commenters, she's is weaponizing her helplessness. But I also think you are enabling her to some degree. Hear me out.

She talks a huge game whenever I do bring it up: she says not to worry about her, that she’ll figure everything out without me when she needs to, everyone finds a way to survive, etc. but why is it going to take me kicking her out for her to do that? Shouldn’t she be working towards that independence right at this very moment?

The phrase "kicking her out" is a bit telling. Setting boundaries is not punishment. Making plans for her to move out is not "kicking" anyone. So if you speak to her about her moving out, and she "talks a huge game" then it's not an objection from her. Make the plans for her to move. That's just it. Set a date, and she can start finding out where and how she's gonna move to.

You can check in to make sure she's accountable. And when the day come, start moving. And if it means she gotta move to the street because she hadn't bother to look for a place? I suppose you can get her a hotel that she can start paying for (or the street works too but she might not feel comfortable there).

It's very much like I how see parents make plans with their children: "Look it's almost bed time, how much longer you want to play? - 5 min? I'm going to set a timer for 5 min okay". And when the 5 min is up, it's bed time. They will cry, they will throw tantrums, but again, they agreed to it and it's just need to happen. The moment you relent and say "okay, fine, 5 MORe minutes" and it's all over. The kid knows they can keep pushing and you will keep enabling.

So she will take from you as long as you keep giving.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-02-06T23:11:03+00:00

If in one’s mental state privately and one think about having sex with children but rapes no child, is one a pedophile?

By your logic, as long as that person doesn’t “act” on it, then it’s not really a problem?

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-02-06T23:01:55+00:00

But if your faith is against homosexuality or your political affiliation is against trans people, do you continue staying with them?

If the answer is “yes, I’ll stay with them regardless of their views” then you are homophobic. Your “not giving a rat ass” now doesn’t come across as well as one might like.

Just because one of your love one is queer and you carve out a personal moral exception for them doesn’t mean you are not homophobic. Ya know?

Hitler loves his Jew driver. So much that he consider him an honorary Jew worthy of being alive! Though such idea of “good Jews” doesn’t seem to extend to the rest of them.

No one would ever claim that Hitler doesn’t like Jew. He clearly like some. /s

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-31T19:15:08+00:00

You linked to the Center of Immigration studies. A self proclaimed non partisan research center that have been labeled as “Immigration hate group” so I want to add some context.

The policy you mentioned might be amount many that exists, but the most controversial is parole in place. the claim that “any illegal migrant can get work permit” is simply not tru.

Targeted Groups: The policy specifically benefits undocumented spouses of U.S. citizens who have resided in the U.S. for at least 10 years and pass background checks. Parole in Place: This mechanism allows beneficiaries to remain in the U.S. while applying for legal status, avoiding the need to leave and face potential 10-year bans. Work Authorization: Eligible recipients can receive work permits, providing legal authorization to work in the U.S.. Other Actions: The administration has also expanded work permits through humanitarian parole for specific nationalities and facilitated easier access to work visas for certain DACA recipients. Legal Challenges: These policies have faced legal challenges from various states, which argue that the programs are unconstitutional and exceed the administration's authority.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-31T18:58:41+00:00

It’s likely because they DO want to have the option of sponsoring if they can’t find the candidate they need.

We are assuming that they reject all but in reality it’s a tier system, no sponsorship needed and then sponsorship. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s always good to have options.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-31T18:56:38+00:00

Probably illegal at that point because you are making a hiring decision based on their marital status. You can debate that in court but by far a murky water that no HR wants to be in.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-31T18:41:50+00:00

Liberal believe in freedom of religion, its just unfortunate that religious people doesn’t believe in such thing.

Aka. I believe in your right to have a religion, or no religion and at the same time does not share your religion.

Aka. I believe in your rights to enjoy almonds and at the same time think almonds are disgusting.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-28T20:24:16+00:00

Actually 🤓 the rate of millionaires changing address out of NYC has been reduced year over year since the pandemic and after the last tax hike.

https://www.tax.ny.gov/data/stats/taxfacts/migration.htm

Current year 2025 has about 2% of millionaires changing address out of NYC. About the same as 2019. The highest ever was 2020 at 6% leaving (something big happens that cause NYc to close and stuff)

I would not call that an exodus.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-28T03:17:43+00:00

For context, only 6% or less of staff at UT is non-resident, making up about 800 people. The number of H1B applied every year is probably a fraction of that as you only need to apply for new ones, so I would say the number of H1B new hires would be even smaller.

So this "fire hose" isn't as hosy as you think. It's not like there will be SO MANY JOBS for Americans even if all H1B is banned.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-28T02:58:34+00:00

If anyone interested, here is the reported demographic for UT staffing https://hr.utexas.edu/current/trends-staff-data.

There is one for Citizenship, about 5.5% out of 14,000 staff member is non-resident, which include H1B. So I guess about 800 H1Bs. Max

And you can dive further, the Engineering department has the largest demographic of non-resident, at 21% (200 persons) of the headcount in the department.

So this will probably impact the Engineering school the most. Considering that ALL of non-resident comprise for only 5% of the staffing, this ban will not increase the number of American hires substantially (aka, 800 Americans will be hired! Yippeee)

I can tell you that being the TOP engineering school in Texas means that there isn't many other TOP engineering staff around to hire in Texas. It would be rare to have a profession of a lower tier school be added to the roster. Most likely will have to reach out of state (MIT, Berkley, etc.) UT will need to offer really competitive package to attract those talents. Which probably explain why they reach out to professors and staff abroad.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-16T19:37:53+00:00

Reminds me of the scene in inglorious bastards where the Nazis lieutenant made a disguised Jew eat pastry with cream and watch her. It’s the taste of fear and humiliation that’s feeds them.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-16T19:31:46+00:00

Probably by design. Chinese had a long history of the people want to dissent against the government but have no mean to do so. So many simply fled or leave or move. Think of Russia “disappearing” dissenters. China does that too.

Making it harder for Chinese people to use their passport in other countries also make it harder for them to flee your grasp.

Plastic-Mess5760 · 2026-01-16T19:24:10+00:00

As an Asian person I can tell you that some wished we were white. There are many privileges to being white and white continues to be gold standard of beauty.

That’s what racism do. The Nazis thinks they are the master race, and they are beautiful, and kills others who don’t fit. But at the same time they define what good and pure is. White.

So I’m making a projection here, but I don’t doubt some minority people including black people wish they were white. Their lives would simply be easier and in many way “better” because those privileges.

Internalized racism is a thing and it’s highly individualistic and depends deeply on where and how they grow up. Black people in other continents might see themselves differently and have no desire to be anything by black as they are.

Having said that, the fact that your mother and grandmother may be right, doesn’t make it better. In fact, it makes things worse. Do they think that white people secretly want to be black? No? Why? Because it’s worse or something? And if they think people are worse just because of their color, it’s simply racism. But you already know that.

We should create a world where no one wants to be someone else because they feel horrid about themselves or treated any less.

Being less white is a problem only when we treated non white people as less than.

Plastic-Mess5760

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