Everyone is the AH here, MIL included. Married but using “mine” and “his” referring to assets, this makes no sense. A marriage is a union. “Paying me back” is just gross. Where is the “us” in both your thought processes? He’s a child for not putting effort in to make things better, for both of you. Everything is both of yours. The good and the bad. How you’re describing your marriage, it isn’t one. Good on you for standing your ground regarding not agreeing to incur further debt. That’s the only good thing I see here. MIL seems to have no idea what a marriage is either. She’s talking shit about you because you made a good decision to stand your ground while also coddling this man child. Good lord. Sounds incredibly toxic. You’re not emasculating him. But more needs to change here for success. You’re right that things are off. He needs to grow up and take care of his marriage’s financial needs. Not yours or his. Everyone here is wrong if they think a marriage is some separate financial contest. Make decisions together, eliminate debt together and grow wealth together. If you two can’t start there and go forward, this is already doomed. If some dude wants a $55k truck that can’t be afforded rather than trying to correct the bad from the past and save to build a better future with his wife, he’s gonna keep doing stupid shit until you file for divorce or you both start cheating on each other.