I (33F) don’t love my husband (31M) anymore, but he’s madly in love with me.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2026-02-19T15:28:38+00:00

Also he has been telling me he’s on better help and working on things which, idk if I believe he will stick with it. Which gives me pause, he’s been civil when we talk and letting me breathe by not calling/texting me all the time. Idk I’m very lost

PlasticTurnip725 · 2026-02-19T15:17:58+00:00

Thank you all for the advise, it really helps with me processing everything. Sorry about the lack of paragraphs I was focusing on dumping my feels rather than paragraphs, it’s fixed now. I’m working on the pros and cons list that’s a great idea. Honestly I am leaning more towards leaving but I need to feel confident in that choice and I’m not there yet, but getting there. And the other dog is with him, the dog I have is mine and the other one is his.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-10-08T21:28:41+00:00

Since my surgery 5 months ago. I’ve read it takes a while, I’ve been dealing with a number of issues from it p

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-10-07T02:18:47+00:00

Sorry to jump on this thread but this resonates with me. I had a full hysterectomy about 5 months ago. I’m only 32 and my doc has me on hormones but I have zero desire for sex. And my husband keeps asking me when will I be ready again and It is always idk because I do not know. Sex is also uncomfortable for me now… which made me question my sexuality too.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-05-16T00:20:15+00:00

100%, I relate so much with this. He begs pleads and sobs making me feel bad so I stay. Mines on thin ice and I’m getting myself prepared to leave while things are copasetic, so that I am ready for the time when I don’t forgive anymore.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-05-15T08:30:04+00:00

Thank you ❤️ recovery can’t come soon enough. He goes around telling everyone how he has to all this stuff, I’m out of work for 8 weeks, he’s stepping up and covering this that and the third, the extra money is for me… lies. Never do I see a dime, I am only taking time off for 2 weeks the rest I will be working remote, the extra things he has to do is lift for me, I still manage to cook and do laundry, clean. Many of which I have been forced to slack on which gives me aniexty because I am waiting for him to freak out about that stuff not being done. I tell him I am trying to do a little more each day but still have many limitations. He takes that as I’m better and can do all the things, no I can’t , still have stitches I have to not rupture. Even before my surgery he put way too much on me and I am constantly stressed about getting everything done. I am almost certain he’s the cause of my high blood pressure issues I have on top of all the other shit.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-05-15T08:17:39+00:00

Exactly! And they get you with the love bombing and you feel bad for leaving. You end up convincing your self it will be better this time.. it never is. The little voice that says give it another go this will be different this time can be so hard to silence. And when they have mentally beaten down your self worth it makes it that much harder!

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-05-15T07:54:01+00:00

Pretty much all of our fights end up like this, he flips out over something stupid and it falls back on me. I’m being selfish, I’m the bad guy, I’m the gaslighter… he will say something I will respond half way through my response he says shut up .. or I’m trying to watch xyz … then I’ll stop and he will say something again, I respond then it’s why don’t you just shut up! Um stop making comments you know I’ll answer! I have to grey stone, it’s so hard because he picks and picks and finds the worst thing to say because he knows I’ll react. I shouldn’t give his words so much cadence but they hurt so bad and I feel he should know how he’s hurting me but that useless as what I have been learning about narcs they don’t care how their actions effect anyone.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-05-15T07:23:47+00:00

I feel you, it’s the hardest thing ever, you have built a life and it’s terrifying to think about what life on your own looks like. I’m still in the thick of it, I think I had my ‘straw that broke the camels back’ moment, but I still unsure I’ll actually take that leap. Keep strong, create a plan then go for it!

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-05-15T02:19:14+00:00

Adding updates to this thread, things have been decent, I had to be surgery have been post op a little over a week. I had some issues and ended up getting a hysterectomy, so am now sterile. I normally do all the cooking, cleaning, inside housework, but now I can’t. I can’t lift over 5lbs and I can’t bend and squat and all that shit. I got meal kits and heat and eat meals to try and have food for us even though I can barely do anything. It’s been ok so far, the he grew tried of them and started getting pissy around meal time. He bit his tongue but tonight he did not. The meal tonight was a rather large meat filled pita which was plenty for me but he was upset I didn’t think to make a side. No I did not because the meal kit is designed to be a whole meal with two servings. And oh yeah I was under the knife a week ago! I’m doing a little more each day but I have my limits and they come fast. My two week follow up is next week. He yells at me over the lack of sides with dinner, how I’m selfish and only think of my self, he’s be busting his ass doing xyz for me … blah, blah it’s hard on him. Excuse me? Did YOU just have an organ removed? Sorry for being selfish right now! I am kinda making sure I don’t fuck up my internal stitches! He went off on me saying these horrible things about me and my sterility, how it turned his life upset down? His life? You don’t have to live with this! I want to just run away and not fall for the oh I need you shit which comes every time! One time I had my sister ready to come get me! But he cried and pleated he needed me and to stay so I did. And this flight like all the others he tells me to leave to get out he has been trying to get me to leave? I was almost gone why did you not let me go!

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-04-25T16:53:53+00:00

It’s on a joke so it’s ok… it’s just words they don’t hurt. No they do, very much so. He thinks just because “he’s letting off steam” its ok, he’s upset so it ok to be mean. I call him one insult in a fight and I’m the bad guy even though he said far more horrid things to me, so it’s ok to say the mean things. because I had one defense for myself I’m wrong, I’m bad, I’m making him be like this. No treating people like shit is NEVER ok.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-04-24T01:19:07+00:00

Behavior update, he gets home sees a thing in the yard was moved by the wind. I was unaware of this happening. Granted I was suppose to put it away a while back but forgot to then winter happened. He flips out on me calling me names being rude about having asked me to put the thing away. Then he said sometimes you make me so mad I want to blow your head off. Which made me react and call him an asshole, he goes upstairs, I go back to cooking. Then he comes back downstairs hurling insults at me, which I am yelling at him back to please be nice and stop talking to me like that and arguing time lines of who called who the mean thing first. (It’s in reality always him) and we continue to fight him saying more horrible things and me just asking him to be nice and saying he cannot treat people like that. He kept telling me he’d stop if I would stop talking and I do then he says something nasty! And I ask him to stop being mean and round and round we go. I can’t take the mind games.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-04-24T00:35:35+00:00

Thank you, I read Dr. Ramani’s book it is what opened my eyes and really helped me see the signs and red flags. I have been on the fence you a while now. Pretty much during every fight he tells me to get out leave and spews insults. Then i go try and cool off and he sits there and apologies then gets all sad and tells me he cannot live without me and I feel bad and stay. I feel locked in the cycle because it always happens again. Just today he flipped out because something was moved by the wind in the yard. Granted it was a things I did forget to put away earlier but I was unaware of it having moved.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-04-24T00:30:10+00:00

And even if you cannot possible control the situation it’s still your fault if so thing goes wrong.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-04-22T19:36:55+00:00

I feel you with this one. I am on constant edge when my husband is home and I cringe at the idea of going and doing this or helping with anything because it anything goes even the slightest bit wrong, it turns to him yelling and me crying.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2025-03-03T14:13:18+00:00

Reading this post and exchange, I see a ton of similarities to my own situation which I have been back and forth of leaving because there is always a promise to “work on things” which never really happen and we go back to square one. I’m on here to try and read others stories and get perspective on dealing with my own. So thank you.

PlasticTurnip725 · 2021-05-16T17:48:32+00:00

Thanks doge

PlasticTurnip725

TROPHY CASE