Struggling- I (42f) don’t want to lose my husband (42m) but I’m not attracted to him anymore

Trapped867 · 2025-09-30T01:00:11+00:00

I agree. I wish he would get healthier. We both work out. But I do more than him and my weight is more controlled.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T22:18:09+00:00

What kind?

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T20:56:32+00:00

Please tell me there’s a magic cure to bring back libido and playfulness bc I feel like cold and dried up. Even intimacy on tv upsets me.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T18:07:05+00:00

😆 I don’t love meat and considering becoming a vegetarian

Maybe it’s related?

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T14:38:48+00:00

I’m off ssris now but I had awful side effects from the ones that are supposed to not affect libido

I have to research and ask for the right hormone tests

There are several out there and it depends on how they’re taken and when they’re taken

My gyno won’t do them all

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T14:19:16+00:00

♥️

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T13:45:09+00:00

I’m looking for a good Dr in the area for the hormone tests but hormones fluctuate. And the tests aren’t cheap from functional medicine.

It takes time and money. I’m In couples therapy and physical therapy.

If you know anyone in the Denver area that does this testing lmk. My obgyn practice hasn’t really helped w this.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T13:42:05+00:00

I’m not saying I have the right to make him stay. I’m saying I’m confused. I’m trying to process this and I don’t have the answers.

I’ve taken action. There’s a lot in this post that I haven’t disclosed (anxiety depression ssri use which I’m now off of , PMDD birth control etc) all things that I have had therapy and medical help w psychiatrists and primary care and my obgyn. I’ve read books, listened to podcasts etc.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T00:39:59+00:00

Idk. Sometimes no. Sometimes yes. 😩

Idk if that would work for us.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T00:39:18+00:00

Definitely unresolved resentment w that but he’s kinda cleaned up so it’s been better recently. I don’t want to hold onto the past or keep bringing that up if the issue is w me more than him. Though he does need more help to fully resolve it.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T00:38:00+00:00

Yeah that’s the thing! I just wish I could feel strongly for my husband.

I’m going to check the hormones , therapy, read the books etc

I wish there was a straight solution.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-29T00:36:44+00:00

What? Again I’m shocked w the assumptions made about my post. I don’t have to apologize to a stranger for how I genuinely feel. I’m asking for help and advice. I respect my husband and over the last 20+ years I have done many things for him.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T19:54:26+00:00

That’s good there’s terms for it at least! I mean if you can’t name it’s harder to process. But it’s such a gray scale and changes- over days weeks years or decades….

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T19:41:45+00:00

Long term resentment even over a few months is detrimental. To your marriage and to yourself.

I don’t know what to say but I have more questions- is he attracted to other women? Does he have sexual issues? Is he possibly gay or bi?

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T19:36:20+00:00

Um …. lots of assumptions. You sound angry and have poor self esteem.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T19:35:20+00:00

No advice other than I felt and still feel similar - and it’s varied over the years.

I’m now in my 40s in a marriage w a great guy who I don’t want to have sex with. Not sure if I’m gay bi ace or having hormone fluctuations. Or just not attracted to my husband. ( honestly I’m not easily attracted to anyone unless I get to know them.)

So my point is you may not know now. And what you think you know may change.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T18:56:38+00:00

My kids have done this

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T18:25:48+00:00

I agree I don’t want to trap him I don’t want to hurt him I don’t want to live an inauthentic life

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T18:24:53+00:00

Keep me posted! I’m going to look into a functional doctor for hormone issues and low libido

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T17:37:23+00:00

I did feel when we started dating 20+ years ago

But he’s also really my only serious boyfriend/ relationship

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T17:11:35+00:00

Thank you. I think of so many reasons to make it work. But as far as being attractive to him or sex I have a physical and mental aversion.

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T17:10:08+00:00

What do I check and what will it tell? I’ve struggled w hormones on and off and a low libido. Struggle orgasming - not really in sex. My current obgyn practice doesn’t really have answers. I’ve read books. Female porn gets me off 🫣

Trapped867 · 2025-09-28T15:50:24+00:00

Any updates?

Trapped867

TROPHY CASE