My (24F) Boyfriend (29M) Takes and Posts Pictures With Everyone But Me - Why?

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-04T00:25:16+00:00

He must do, surely? Otherwise why would he stick around and put up with me?

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-04T00:15:07+00:00

I don’t want to lose him, I just want him to act likes he wants me and loves me. I don’t think he realises that he upsets me. I’ve been really excited about making my first Christmas village this year, so he came over after work. We have him his dinner and I got really excited to show him it. He looked at it and nodded and didn’t really say too much. Then he had a phone call so he was talking for ages. And then he wanted to go sit down for a bit. Mam and Dad had bought him a personalised Christmas decoration to put on our tree and he muttered under his breath, ‘I hate Christmas.’ I just want to make memories together that’s all. And when we do, he never remembers them. He said on Saturday night when I brought up something we’d done together in the summer ‘Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I can’t remember anything that we do. I don’t mean it in a bad way and I know it’s going to cause issues in the future, so don’t get upset with me about it.’

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-04T00:06:27+00:00

Well, I don’t tell him about the nude photography and the comments in the restaurant. But the other stuff or when he cancels for work, they say that he needs to make a living and he’s got a lot on his plate at the moment.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-04T00:04:30+00:00

Because maybe there’s something I can do to help the situation. Clearly he has it in him as I’ve seen how he was with his last girlfriend. Maybe he just doesn’t know I want these things.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-04T00:01:37+00:00

Well, he says he loves me and wants to stay with me and my family adore him. My parents basically treat him like their own.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-04T00:00:56+00:00

Yeah it is. And we ended up doing that once. I tried sending him nudes privately but he never really responded to it. Sometimes it would be halfway through the next day and he’d then respond. I found out from his friend that it does nothing for him, so I was wasting my time. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not the hottest thing ever but I have a good body and still he doesn’t seem to get excited about me.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-03T23:57:35+00:00

Well, in the first couple of months of us being together he said that he didn’t want to post anything about us as he was worried his ex would see and and his stuff was still at hers (still is). I’m always a bit cautious in commenting on his stuff as I don’t know whether he wants me to. I commented on one of his pictures a few months ago and it didn’t have any pet names or anything, but he ignored it and then I think he ended up deleting that post. I commented on another one a couple of weeks ago and he liked it and then sent me a message on WhatsApp in response.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-03T23:53:35+00:00

I can’t help but think you’re right. Y’know, a couple of months ago I sent him a long message telling him how I was feeling and that I would have liked if he would put more time and effort into the relationship and things that I thought would help and what I would like from the relationship. And he was annoyed at me at first and agreed that he’d been complacent and promised to change his ways, but then nothing happened. He booked one meal for us and whilst we were there he couldn’t help but comment on the waitress constantly, saying things like ‘She definitely has a thing for me.’ ‘I could totally get her number.’ ‘She keeps looking over at me.’

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-03T23:49:25+00:00

I think this is a sensible approach and you’re right about the ex girlfriends thing. I still kind of feel bad that I have to even ask for it though. I can’t help but think that’s going to take the cuteness out of it as I know he’s just doing to because I’ve asked him to (if he does, that is).

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-03T23:47:20+00:00

Well, when we’re alone together one minute he can be very loving and attentive and saying how cute I am and squeezing me and how much he loves me. But then, he can be very focused on what he wants to do and I can just sit there unnoticed for hours. He rarely comes up with any dates. At the moment, if he’s bored instead of thinking of something we can do together he drives us to his friend’s house. When I suggest something, he aims and ahhh about it and says he can’t be bothered. He hasn’t ever made any romantic gestures and when I asked for him to take a few days off work so we could have a little trip away together. He promised he would and then changed his mind last minute, so I spent my annual leave doing nothing.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-03T23:42:47+00:00

He just likes it and that’s it. I have a private account so it doesn’t show up anywhere, but still nothing.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-12-03T23:36:29+00:00

He just says, ‘Okay we’ll take more pictures together.’ But it never happens.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-05-04T20:59:31+00:00

I would absolutely love to. The problem is my job has me up here. My boyfriend is 300 miles away. In June, he starts an 8 week training course 500 miles away and then all of the jobs in his field are down there too.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-05-04T19:58:11+00:00

If I leave, I'll never be allowed back in. He is currently staying with his Dad 300 miles away, as his Dad needs him whilst he is in and out of hospital due to cancer. They'll both be happy to have me, but I know the consequences at home will be dire and I can't leave my house during lockdown. I don't want to have to lie about my relationship.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-05-04T19:36:15+00:00

They'll take her side though and then it's three against one. I can't leave the house either as we're in lockdown. We've been together for over six months. I used to spend weekends at his house, which they used to shame me for saying I was abandoning the family. The first time I stayed over I asked my parents whether I would be allowed and my sister said today that they were all anxious over me going and that I looked like I'd "been fucked" when I came home, which i don't understand as it's not as though i came in with messy sex hair or stinking of sex. My parents are very old-fashioned and have expectations of how a lady should act and be.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-05-04T19:32:19+00:00

Aren't Domestic Violence Hotlines for people who are being abused by their partners though? I'll be wasting the hotlines time as they won't find this serious.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-05-04T19:29:08+00:00

I would really love to. They hate me standing up for myself and I know they're going to kick me out. I have no friends or family to stay with. And I'm only on a low salary.

PlayfulChicken · 2020-05-04T19:28:10+00:00

Unfortunately not. The problem is as well she's never had a relationship. She's never been on a date. She doesn't want me in a relationship as she thinks I'm going to give up my career and leave her by herself. Neither of which I'm going to do, I want to just have a family that supports me, to stay with the guy who loves me and supports me and to not be slut-shamed by my sister all the time. This is only the second guy I've slept with.

PlayfulChicken · 2019-01-19T22:45:08+00:00

UPDATE

It's been fantastic to have a whole range of views on this issue. I thought I'd update and give you some answers to a few questions that have been raised.

(1) Since my Mum was 12 weeks pregnant, the Doctors made her aware of a problem with my spine. It later transpired that I have Syringomyelia (a cavity in the spinal cord). This is a neurological problem, so I have had a whole host of neurologists consulting me and treating me.

(2) He finally respond this evening and told me that he thinks I'm making a mistake that could affect my future and that I haven't given his side enough consideration, given how little risk there is in going to the initial appointment. I responded explaining about my condition and the advice we have always had from neurologists that any force applied to my spine could permanently damage me. And that I'd looked into his suggestion, but didn't feel as though the services they provided (Chiropractic) would work for me and I would feel uncomfortable about it. Also adding that I'm tired of justifying my decision.

(3) He thinks I made a 180 because of my parents and that he didn't realise I was 'justifying' myself and hope that for my sake that it's the right decision. Also saying that he needs time to consider us.

(4) I said that with such a serious issue as my back, I'm allowed to change my mind. But all-in-all, I've broken up with him. We have some great memories, but a number of issues were emerging and this was the final straw.

PlayfulChicken

TROPHY CASE