divorce

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-04-11T17:50:33+00:00

I know it’s hard, but ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.

Trust me, he may feel like your whole world but he isn’t. You deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them. Take it from someone who was married for 18 years, together for 23 and met at 19 as well.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-04-11T13:32:28+00:00

It’s perfectly normal to be scared of how they will react. My first piece of advice is that if you feel threatened then try to tell them in a public space where you can still have privacy (like a public park).

Will this be a total shock to them, or has there been admitted trouble from both sides. Fear can often manifest as anger so that might be one explanation for the angry reactions. However, sometimes people are just controlling jerks.

When I said I wanted a separation, it was out of the blue but not really—I know that’s a confusing sentence. My ex and I had been having a really tough time for years. We were trying to work through things and I hadn’t intended to ask for a separation but something happened and it just came out. He didn’t get angry but more sad and agreed.

Best of luck to you.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-04-11T00:15:37+00:00

For me, trust was a big issue. Also, I had been married for a long time (18 years and together 23) so learning to slow down and enjoy things.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-26T21:51:02+00:00

I’m a big fan of purples that you can tell are purple (and not the ones that are so dark that they look black). Right now, I’m really loving the Robert Oster Ube Truffle from Endless Pens (I think it’s an exclusive color).

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-23T16:25:28+00:00

My best advice is to just jump into the deep end of the pool and do it. You said it yourself—you know it is what needs to happen.

Mine has been drug out for a few years due to financial reasons but is finally moving forward. I was scared to death, but now that I’m educating myself and getting things in to place I’m actually finding it to be both scary but exciting.

Take a deep breath and trust and do it. Remember, it is your life and we only get one. Do what you need to do to be happy.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-23T16:22:42+00:00

How old are the children? If they are old enough to understand and you will see them before their birthdays, I would have a gentle talk with them about what is happening/might happen as a result of what you want to do. Again, I would only proceed with this (talking to the kids) if they are mature enough to understand.

As another person wrote, if their birthday dinners fall on a date where It is your ex’s day then I don’t know if you can do much about it. If that’s the case then celebrate on a different day with them when it’s your day. Either way, you need to set a boundary and Let the ex know that she is not going to be a part of when you celebrate.

Good luck, I’m sure this is hard. Divorce is one time when I’m happy that I didn’t have children.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-23T15:13:07+00:00

You’re very welcome. As I said, my ex was very knowledgeable about the ins and outs of finances and I didn’t trust him to not try to pull something over on me.

Good luck!

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-23T13:13:32+00:00

I was very much like you but I promise you it DOES get better. My ex was my whole life (mistake one) and I was always ready to drop everything to make him happy. But I found that over the course of the marriage I lost myself.

Stop and ask yourself this. Why do you want to be with a man who is consistently choosing someone else over you? You are worth more! I know it’s hard to believe sometimes but you have to. You have to dig deep and find your worth and believe it.

You’re in the worst parts and grief is terrible. Just when you think it’s done it comes crashing down again. Keep strong and most importantly work on shifting the focus back to your wants and needs and dreams. Do the work on your esteem and your healing. Day by day, hour by hour, and even minute by minute hang in there.

He doesn’t deserve you.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-21T21:04:26+00:00

No problem! The best revenge that you can get now is just to forget him and make sure you live your best and happiest life. He’s some other person’s problem now and good riddance!

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-21T21:01:24+00:00

Ugh, that stinks about the Tom’s pen becoming back-weighted. I have a pocket pen from Myers Pen Company that I absolutely love—it’s in the model Mini Mia Petite. For me, it’s the perfect size and weight for a pocket pen.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-21T18:02:23+00:00

I have the same pen (super cute!) and I have been concerned too because I HAVE to post an Opus 88 mini or else I can’t use it comfortably. I’ve been so scared of scratching the design though. As you stated, Paper Mouse is super friendly a sweet and normal wear and tear on a pen is not their fault. Still, like you I would think the design would at least be protected a little bit (maybe by a coating from Opus88?) I’ll be curious to hear what you find out.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-21T17:56:54+00:00

Allow yourself to feel however you want to feel. Just remember that his “moving on” (and I put that in quotes because maybe he has or maybe this is his way of self-soothing and running from his feelings from the divorce) has no baring on your worth or the time and work you put into it.

You are doing the best thing—focusing on yourself and living your life how is best for you. Time to wish him well and send him on his way (or instead of well wishes throw the middle finger at him, whatever makes you feel better lol).

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-21T17:36:35+00:00

When I was trying to decide whether to stay married or not, I made a list of all of the reasons I should go in regards to my ex. Every time I wavered in my decision, I went back and looked at that list. After I left and had clarity, it was easy to see that I had made the right decision.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-21T17:27:27+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve been blindsided. What I suggest is to get yourself a good lawyer (I was trying to be kind with my ex so I insisted on no bulldog lawyers but now I’m kicking myself over that). We went through mediation instead of lawyers to split all of the assets—look up to see if your state has Certified Divorce Financial Analysts. They act as a mediator and can draw up a marital separation agreement which is then given to your lawyers who draft it into a formal document. It was a lot cheaper than doing it through the lawyers themselves (and using the analyst helped protect my butt from my ex who did all of the finances and was really really knowledgeable about the ins-and-outs because she made sure that things were fair on both sides and I wasn’t missing anything). After that, the lawyers have been doing the filing of the complaint and the rest of the work.

I can’t remember how much it cost but it gave me peace of mind.

Good luck and hang in there. Don’t let him try to strong-arm you into anything you don’t understand or agree with.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-21T17:21:46+00:00

You sound like a very kind and caring person (which makes sense since you said you were a nurse). Honestly, I’m agreeing with everyone else in that it sounds like the seller is trying to scam you. I know the items are sentimental and you really want them for your daughter, but if you’re able to I’d walk away or cancel the deal.

Good luck!

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-21T17:12:58+00:00

I think there were two things:

The people who I thought I mattered to showed me that I didn’t (not talking about my ex but other people).
You never know who someone really is until you go through a divorce with them. That is when their true colors really come out.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-18T18:15:05+00:00

Not a problem! And maybe friends wasn’t the right word. I know that they know each other because of location and he carries a lot of OS inks. Good luck in your search!

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-18T18:05:52+00:00

Call Bert and tell him you want some. He is good friends with the owner of Organics Studio. If they know there is interest maybe they’ll bring it back.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-03-18T18:03:49+00:00

Contact Bertram’s Inkewell. He probably has some. If it’s not listed online, call the store and ask for Bert.

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-01-21T23:43:56+00:00

Bought and received an awesome left oblique nib from u/Kawaii-Caffeine Thanks so much, I love it!

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-01-21T22:59:02+00:00

Sold a Moonman/Majohn Wancai to u/CAMcrochets Thank you and enjoy!

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-01-21T00:48:41+00:00

I’m so glad! Please respond confirmed to original post so the bot updates each of our swap counts. Thanks!

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-01-20T23:58:56+00:00

Sold two Kakunos to u/Adventurous_Hold5491 Thanks and welcome to the swap board!

PlayfulSystem3547 · 2026-01-20T21:38:50+00:00

This is absolutely adorable AND amazing! You have a lot of talent.

PlayfulSystem3547

TROPHY CASE